工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S02E06
Part 4
June 28, 2021, 1:30 p.m.
冷静一下
Let's calm our jets.
我很冷静
My jets are calm.
而且 Alice是唯一一个可以开除我的人
Besides, Alice is the only one that can fire me.
所以我哪儿都不去
So I'm not going anywhere
直到她那甜蜜嘟起的小嘴亲自告诉我
until I hear it come from her sweet, pursed lips.
够了
Okay.
这正是我最不期待发生的事情
This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.
天老爷 我可戴着精英帽呢
I'm wearing a Top Gun hat, for God sakes.
如果我今天被开除了 我看着会跟傻♥逼♥一样
If I get fired today, I'm gonna look like an idiot.
这帽子这么牛逼
And this hat's bad ass.
确实 我好喜欢
It is. I love it.
你应该开除其他的什么蠢货
You should fire some other dummy.
哦哦 - 等等
Oh. - Wait.
你刚是不是
Did you just...
我得去下洗手间
I have to go to rest room.
我有个主意
I have an idea.
是吗
Oh.
哦 就是你
Uh... oh, yes.
太好了
Great.
终于找到了
Oh, got it.
谁在哪里
Who's there?
有人么
Hello.
那边有人么
Is someone there?
听着 我有武器 我还有艾滋 所以最好别碰我
Listen, I'm armed and I've got AIDS, so it's not worth it.
什么
What?
发生什么了
Okay, what the hell is going on here?
哦 Allison
Oh, Allison.
是这么回事儿 我对这些连体衣过敏
Hey, listen, these... these onesies.
起了一脸疹子
They're making me break out.
什么也看不见
I can't really see anything.
我得去医院
I got to go to the hospital.
Montez刚给我打了通电♥话♥
See, I just got a call from Montez.
他说Jillian在炒人呢
Says that Jillian is going around firing people.
对 正炒着呢
Well, yeah. She is.
你知道么
And you know what?
Rudy说过"如果你让第二替补踢球员做四分卫
Rudy says, "When you leave the third string kicker
那他肯定会被阻截(有人就该收拾东西滚蛋了)"
in the quarterback's position, someone's gonna get sacked."
别废话了 闭上嘴跟我走吧
Okay. Just shut up and follow me.
我想知道办公室怎么样了
I want to know what's going on.
好的 你能牵着我走么
Okay. Would you take my hand actually?
嘿 Alice 等一下
Hey, Alice, hold up.
怎么回事儿
What?
和你说点事儿
One thing right quick.
近来可好啊
What's up?
Adam 你马上给我下来
Adam, get down from there right now.
我这辈子再也不用
I don't have to listen to anything you have to say
听你磨磨叽叽了
for the rest of my life,
一切都结束了 因为你炒了我 Alice
which is about to end because you fired me, Alice.
整个世界都听好了 下面是我的遗言
So hear me, world, 'cause these are my last words.
如果你从Adam DeMamp这位"销♥售♥精英"这夺走了什么
If you take anything from Adam "The Top Gun" DeMamp's life,
请听好这句话
take this.
随便吧
Take it sleazy.
我走了
And I'm out.
拿笔写下来
Write that down.
"随便吧 我走了"是我的遗言
"Take it sleazy and I'm out" Are my last words.
然后我自杀了
And I'm killing myself.
他刚说的都是些什么玩意儿
What the hell does any of that even mean?
随便吧
Take it sleazy!
哦 不
Oh, no!
哦 Adam 不
Oh, Adam! Oh, no!
他为什么会 这都是你的错
Why would he... this is your fault!
你应该让我当负责人的
You should've put me in charge.
嘿 那是个假人 你个瞎大傻
Hey. It's a dummy, you blind idiot.
等下 什么
Wait, what?
你刚看到的都不是真的
What you have seen here was not real.
这就是滥用权力做出错误的决定时
This was a demonstration of what strange turns life can take
命运给你的惩罚
when the powers that be make dumb decisions...
愚蠢的
... Stupid
决定 错误的决定
decisions. Dumb decision?
愚蠢的决定 - 愚蠢的决定
Stupid decisions. - Stupid decisions.
不必惊慌害怕 Adam还活着
So put your fears aside, for Adam is alive.
嘿
Hey.
我只是 我只是想让他们听我的
I just...I just wanted them to listen to me
所以我才说要炒人
so I told them about the terminations.
我每天都从高层那收到
I get those emails all the time from corporate
要我炒人的邮件
when they're trying to trim the fat
每个人都上过那名单 包括你
and everyone has been on that list, even you.
但你知道么 我从来就没照做过
But you know what? I never follow through with it.
想知道原因么
Do you wanna know why?
我想
Yeah, I wanna know why.
因为邮件不是这个办公室的老大
Because emails don't run this office.
我才是
I do.
你是最棒的了 我爱你
You're the best in the biz and I love you.
鉴于你当负责人留下的这堆[哔]摊子
But going through your bossy (bleep).
你没资格炒人
Ya don't do that.
那是人类冥冥中都会去遵循的一种规律
That's kind of a law that exists here on earth with us humans.
我很抱歉 不过你还是收拾东西走吧
So I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to clean out your desk.
什么
What?
你为了什么狗屁规律就把我炒了
I'm fired because of some stupid earth law?
嗷
Ow.
感觉这样不对 你明白么
It's just doesn't right, you know.
Jillian不能被炒
Jillian can't be fired.
这简直令人发指
That's like egregious or something.
那是个词吧 我没说错吧
That's an American word, right?
令人发指
Egregious.
实话说 我不知道
I don't know, actually.
我在想应该是个外来词 令人发指
I just think it might be German. Egregious.
好像失去了个队友一样
It's like we're losing one of the team here, man.
我懂 她就像我们的飞狗巴迪 金牌接球员
I know, she's like our Air Bud, Golden Receiver.
我想她更像我们的Rudy
I was thinking more of our Rudy.
嘿 Alice
Hey, Alice.
我要走了
I guess this is it.
我所有的东西都在这了
I got all my stuff, so.
嗯
Okay.
事情最后闹成这样我很抱歉
Well, I'm sorry it had to end this way.
别 别
No. No.
听着 她已经被炒了 懂么
Okay, look she is fired, okay?
你们做什么也改变不了
There is nothing you can say or do about it.
所以不要再替她求情了
Please don't do any more stuff.
Alice 我们知道Jillian有一堆奇怪的毛病
Alice, we know Jillian suffers from a ton of quirks,
但这是美国
but this is the U.S.A.
"张扬个性"是我们的座右铭
"Characters welcome" Is our country's motto.
是 她确实不是个好领导
Yes, she's a horrible leader.
嗯
Yeah.
她当领导就是个噩梦
She's the worst we've all ever seen.
糟透了
Horrible.
你应该让我负责的
You should've left me in charge.
但她是这个公♥司♥不可缺少的人才
That said, she means a whole heck of a lot to this company.
如果她走 那我们也走
So if you fire her, you fire us.
你知道么 Anders 你应该
Okay, you know what, Anders, you're supposed to be
像个领袖一样
the responsible one here.
你为什么不负起责任来呢
Okay, why don't you act like it?
我会负起责的
I believe that I am.
我会负起责的
I believe that I am.
来 进来吧
Let's go, come on.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
晚点再找你算账
You're gonna eat this later.
好 你知道么
Fine, you know what?
你想要她 她是你的了
If you want her, you can have her.
反正我也没时间培训新人
All right, I don't have time to train a new person anyway.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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