天才阿公（2013）

Uncle Grandpa S04E24

Part 1 March 25, 2024, 6:05 p.m.

我的假发哪去了
Where's my wig?!
天才叔公
丘比特叔公

勿践踏草坪
没人在亲亲
Nobody's kissing.
今天不是情人节吗
Isn't today St. Valentine's Day
本来就应该要亲亲和亲亲
the day of kissing and uh...kisses?
那当然了天才叔公
Of course it is, Uncle Grandpa.
你看我给你准备了情人节礼物
Look, I got you a Saint Valentine's Day gift.
爱
不用啦
You shouldn't have!
有人来了就在门口
There's someone at the door!
有人来了就在门口
There's someone at the door
有人就在门口
Someone at the door
没错有人
That's right, there's so --
是丘比特
It's Cupid.
天才叔公
Hey, Uncle Grandpa.
我可以进来吗
Mind if I come in?
请进占用我的时间吧
Sure come right in, take up all my time.
我不忙
I'm not busy.
你有什么问题呢朋友
What seems to be the problem there, friend?
我再也做不到了
I can't do it anymore, man.
做什么
Do what?
拿我的箭射人
Shoot people with my arrow
让他们就是亲亲
to make them, you know, kiss!
好啊
Yeah.
亲亲可酷了
Kissing is cool.
我就不知道是什么感觉
Well, I wouldn't know about that.
我我从来没被人亲过
I've... I've never been kissed.
连你妈都没亲你吗
Not even by your mama?
那个不算
That doesn't count, man.
谁在乎呢
Who gives a care?!
没人要亲亲我
No one's gonna kiss me.
没对现实吧我就是个肥肥小宝宝
Let's face it -- I'm a chubby little baby!
就你刚刚说的那句挺对的
That's only mostly true!
而且女生喜欢宝宝
Plus, girls like babies --
反正我看过的纪录片都这么拍的
according to the documentaries I've seen.
你可以帮帮我吗天才叔公
Do you think you can help me, Uncle Grandpa?
你可以帮我找到“真爱”吗
Do you think you can help me find "true love"?
你这么懂女人
With your deep knowledge of women
想必能帮到我吧
you can help me, right?
我当然能帮到你了
Of course I can help you!
我懂的就是熟♥女♥
If there's one thing I know about, it's fully grown women.
一起去创造浪漫的历史吧
Now, let's go make romantic history.
不行我
No, I --
先帮你把尿布脱了
Let's get you out of that diaper
穿上人穿的衣服
and into some people clothes.
我有满满一衣柜的全套衣服
I've got a wardrobe full of cool outfits/ensembles
都是当年约会时用的
from my dating days.
都放好久了
It's been a while!
来看看有什么
Let's see what we got here.
领子太小了
Collar's too small.
领子太小了
Collar's too small.
完美
Perfect!
得穿条裤子把衬衣塞进去
You'll need some pants to tuck that shirt into.
天啊
Oh, boy!
我不仅给你找到了裤靴套装
Not only did I find a pants-boots combo for you
还找到了我的旧恶魔翅膀
but I also found my old demon wings!
这样我就可以当你的助攻了
So now I can be your wingman.
你知道我也会飞吧天才叔公
You know I can fly, too, Uncle Grandpa.
还要糟蹋我好端端的衬衣
And ruin my wonderful shirt?
想得美
I don't think so!
来看看
Now, let's see here.
在东面30千米处探测到雌性生命体
Female life-forms detected 30 klicks due east.
就快接近了
We're closing in.
正在部署包裹
Deploying package.
反正我就说
So anyway, I said --
你没事吧
You okay?
抱歉
Sorry.
不好意思大姐
Excuse me, ma'am.
拜托冷静我能解释
Please calm down. I can explain.
你愿意亲亲我朋友吗
Will you kiss my friend?!
你愿意亲亲他吗他样子好像小宝宝
Will you kiss him?! He looks like a little baby.
亲他就对了
Just kiss him!
他需要亲亲
He needs kisses!
他很害羞
He's shy!
女人啊
Women.
所以很明显你刚刚搞砸了
So, clearly you messed up just then.
我应该能感觉得到哪里出错了
I think I could sense what was wrong.
我跟丘比特
在一起
你太臭了
You stink, son.
女人对体味重的人特别敏感
Those women were very sensitive to stinky stinkers
所以就跑了
so they ran away.
应该不是
I really don't think tha--
别难过了火星之子丘比特
No need to get upset, Cupid, son of Mars.
我正好有你要的东西
I got what you need right here.
爱情魔香
这是苦龙水我自己特制的香水
It's col-log-knee -- my own special scent.
有种沙丁鱼味
It smells like sardines.
本来就是沙丁鱼
That's because it is sardines.
所以你常来吗
So, you come here often?
真不敢相信
This is unbelievable.
海里的鱼不够你抓吗丘比特
Not enough fish in the sea, eh, Cupey?
虽然很不愿意说这种话
I hate to say it but...
可能得用用你的超自然弓箭能力
we may have to use your supernatural archery powers
把女人迷过来亲你
to trick women into kissing you.
可是不行
But I can't!
弓箭手没办法变成别人恋爱的对象
The archer can't be the object of affection!
我来射
I do it.
我来射箭给我
I shoot arrows. Gimme!
好吧
Okay.
天啊
Oh, boy!
谁这么穿比较好看呢
Who wore it better?
那我想要的女生应该比较高
So, uh, I-I-I guess I'd like her to be tall
不过不能太高
but not too tall
但是就是要比我高一点点
but, you know, a bit taller than me.
等下你干嘛
Wait. What're you doing?!
我要帮你射中那边那位美女
I'm gonna hit that beauty over there for you, buddy.
那是只鸭子
That's a duck!
你不喜欢那种的吗
Not your type, huh?
了解了解
I get it, I get it.
小心
Look out!
披萨史蒂夫你刚拿箭射我吗
Pizza Steve, did you just shoot me with an arrow?
没有
Nope.
刚刚那是在练箭
That was a practice shot.
这回一定可以帮你射中对象
I've got a good feeling about this one.
怎么回事
What gives?!
一只箭不会吧
An arrow? Come on!
都2016了还有人拿箭射我
It's 2016 and I get shot with an arrow?!
不会吧
Come on!
我得查出是谁射的我
I'm gonna find out who shot me.
望远镜启动
Telescope, up!
好高的领子
That's a big collar.
我得飞过去
Well, I guess I'll have to fly down there
给他来点
and give him a piece of my...
爱
love!
我爱你请你嫁给我
I love you, please marry me
黏糊糊的小粉红
squishy little pink person!
不客气
You're welcome.
给我亲一个
Now, give me a kiss!
快救救我天才叔公救救我
Save me, Uncle Grandpa! Save me!
你先别急