天才阿公（2013）

Uncle Grandpa S04E07

Part 2 March 25, 2024, 6:05 p.m.

Pizza Steve?
没错就在这
Yep. Right here.
能不能给披萨史蒂夫来张高脚凳
Can we get Pizza Steve a stool or something?
天才叔公先生请你开场白
Mr. Uncle Grandpa, your opening statement.
高脚凳
Stool.
好吧
All...right.
披萨史蒂夫请你开场白
And, Pizza Steve, your opening statement?
我是披萨史蒂夫我可以当选
I'm Pizza Steve, and I'm a winner.
我的对手是个无关紧要的小丑
My opponent is an irrelevant clown
毫无公信力
with zero credibility --
彻底的废物
a total loser.
脏鸟一只
Dirty bird.
披萨史蒂夫
Pizza Steve
露营车破败不堪
the RV is in need of serious repair.
而且债台高筑
But it's also deep in debt.
你有解决计划吗
Do you have a plan to deal with the situation?
两个字克里斯平
Two words, Crispin --
是胶带
duct tape, bro.
胶带修万物
You could fix anything with this stuff.
我同意
I concur.
我都不知道
I did not know that.
天才叔公你的抗辩是
Uncle Grandpa, your rebuttal?
天才叔公
Uncle Grandpa?
恐怕你得说大声点天才叔公
I'm afraid you'll have to speak up, Uncle Grandpa.
我说 “就是胶带”
I said that "duct tape, bro"
有三个字不是两个
is three words, not two!
确实
Indeed.
那你会怎么改善露营车的现状
What then would you do to improve the state of the RV?
克里斯平
Well, Crispin...
虽然现状不容乐观
...even though things look bleak
但我坚信但只要求同存异
I believe, if we all put aside our differences
and find what unites us
就能让露营车再次伟大
we can make the RV great again
超越以往
better than it ever was.
可以装一台煎饼机
We could put in a pancake machine.
可以在五楼吃冰淇淋
We could have ice cream on the fifth floor
在八楼吃咸味零食
salty snacks on the eighth.
那你要从哪搞到钱
Just where are you gonna get the ch-iz-ash money
让天上掉馅饼呢
to pay for all this pie in the sky?
很高兴你问了便便史蒂夫
I'm glad you asked, Poo-Poo Steve!
搞的就是存钱罐里存的钱
We'll just use the money
that accumulates in the change jar!
你的政纲全是漏洞
Your platform is full of holes.
能否详细说明披萨史蒂夫
Would you mind elaborating on that, Pizza Steve?
听好底线就在于我认为
Look, the bottom line is that I believe
民众应当有权
that people should have the right
依照我的意愿潦倒过日子
to live in squalor if I want them to.
干嘛要买♥♥新刹车或者汽油这种破东西
I mean, why should I have to pay for dumb things
like new brakes or gasoline?
我要想花光钱
If I want to spend all the money on, say
给自己买♥♥卷饼比尔大块头卷饼的话
a Burrito Bill's Macho Muchacho Burrito for myself
那就一定可以花
then I should be able to.
太扯淡了
That's ridiculous!
说实话太好吃了
Actually, it's delicious.
而且简明扼要地说明了
And it quite simply demonstrates
下滴经济学的原则
the principle of dribble-down economics.
[ 下滴经济学：改自“下渗经济学”
指给富人减税将有利经济增长 ]
请大家想象一下
Imagine, if you will
这位笨蛋队长就是你们全体土包子
"Captain Fool" here is all of you peasants.
我是大权贵
So I, the awesome big shot
咬了一口让人垂涎三尺的卷饼
take a bite of this mouth-watering burrito.
只要有披萨史蒂夫的下滴规划
With Pizza Steve's dribble-down plan
大家都是赢家
everyone wins.
够了你这疯子
That's it, you maniac!
下台去吧
You're going down!
大家
Guys...
情况不妙
This doesn't look good!
出了个问题
Guys, we got a problem.
接招
Take that!
吃我这招
Have some of this!
车辆粉碎机
情况一点都不妙
Guys, this isn't good at all.
让披萨史蒂夫当总统
Pizza Steve for president!
我当总统
I'm President!
看样子我们就快进入
Looks like we are headed straight for the...
车辆压碎机
car crusher?!
一定要快开走
Got to drive us out of here, stat!
钥匙断了
The key broke!
没法挽救露营车了
It's no use saving the RV.
必须逃出去
We got bail out!
我们就快被车辆压碎机压碎了
Guys, we're about to be crushed by the car crusher.
趁还没变破铜烂铁必须想办法自救
We got to do something before we turn into scrap metal!
一定要救救我们
You got to help us!
可是竞选
But the election!
没时间竞选了
We don't have time for an election!
虽然我没法替对手说好话
Well, I can't speak for my opponent
但史蒂维想当总统
but Stevie wanna be pres
所以史蒂维要奋战到最后
so Stevie's staying in the fight till the bitter end, bro.
快做点什么
Please do something.
我就是总统
I'm President!
我
Me!
露营车没我当总统就完蛋了
The RV would be nothing without me for president!
披萨史蒂夫
Pizza Steve!
现在是《露营车大选》特别报道
And now, an "RV Election" special report.
天才叔公在千钧一发之际
In a last-minute decision
决定要退出竞选
Uncle Grandpa decided to pull out of the race.
天才叔公请说说为什么要选择
Uncle Grandpa, please tell us why you made this choice
放弃竞选露营车总统呢
to forego being a possible president of the RV.
克里斯平我决定要珍视友情
Well, Crispin, I decided I value my friendship
陪伴我背后这一群好朋友
with this great group of pals behind me
拒绝在政♥治♥上当没意义的傀儡
more than some pointless puppet job in politics.
就是这样友情高于政♥治♥
There you have it -- friends over politics.
现在采访露营车的新任领袖
And now a word with the RV's new leader
披萨史蒂夫总统
President Pizza Steve.
克里斯平我一开始就知道
Well, Crispin, I knew from the start
披萨史蒂夫总统会当选
that President Pizza Steve was going to win
因为强者必胜输家必败
because the best always wins and losers always lose.
没错
That's right.
披萨史蒂夫总统最强
President Pizza Steve is the best.
披萨史蒂夫总统最强
"President Pizza Steve is the best,"
这个说法可能会有争议
a statement that might be debatable.
但在政♥治♥界
But in the world of politics...
谁在乎呢
...who really cares?
我是克里斯平·马尔卡希播送完毕
I'm Crispin Mulcahy, signing off.
下次再会别忘了
See you next time, and, remember
自♥由♥之风将吹拂下去
the winds of freedom will blow
只要天空依然蔚蓝
as long as the sky is blue
我的谎言依然真实
and my lies are true.
真是太好吃了
That was quite delicious.