我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E07

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

Actually, I have seen some stuff.
事实上我确实经历了很多
I'm not trying to pry.
我不是想打听你的事
I don't love talking about my own stuff either,
我也不喜欢说自己的私事
but whatever your deal is,
但是不论你是什么情况
you're a survivor.
你是个斗士
And not being home for Christmas?
不能回家过圣诞节
That was the worst.
是最糟糕的
Tell me about it.
可不是嘛
I was... away for 15 Christmases.
我少过了15年的圣诞节呢
At some point, I started forgetting the words
后来我开始忘记
to Christmas carols, like,
圣诞颂歌♥的歌♥词了
That's why I'm making up for lost time.
所以我现在在弥补失去的时光
You know the G.I. Bill?
你知道<退伍军人♥权♥利法案>吗
It's G.I. Joe.
你是说<特种部队>吧
And I'm all about making up for lost time, homeslice.
我也是一直在弥补失去的时间伙计
Still working on the lingo-rooski.
我还得在练练这些行话
I know the feeling, G-money.
我知道这种感觉
Man, it's nice to talk to somebody who gets it.
能和互相理解的人聊天真好
Everyone else just wants to buy me a drink
其他人只是想给我买♥♥杯酒
and say, "Thank you for your service."
然后说"感谢你为祖国的贡献"
I like talking to you, too, Keith.
我也喜欢你和聊天 Keith
And not just because every time you get a drink,
可不是因为每次有人送你酒
I get another little umbrella.
我就能多得一个小伞
For Mousey Poppins.
打算送给老鼠阿姨的
I wish I didn't have to go back to work.
真希望我不用回去工作
"Work"? "I"?
"工作" "我"
"Have to get back to"?
"得回去"
I have to get back to work!
我得回去工作了
Sorry. Nugs are on me.
抱歉炸块算我请你的
That's a cool, shorter way to say "Nuggets."
这是"炸鸡块"的炫酷简称
Hello, I have an appointment under "White."
你好请查一下我的预约姓White
And I brought my own neck hooks.
我自己带了颈钩
Jacqueline!
Jacqueline
Deirdre!
Deirdre
You look amazing.
你看起来太美了
Oh, you're nice.
你嘴真甜
I feel disgusting. I had twins yesterday.
我感觉自己丑死了昨天刚生了双胞胎
Eh! Ahhh...
呃啊
And I know it just started, but I am already
我知道这才是刚开始但是
so exhausted from gala season.
我已经被晚会季折腾的精疲力尽了
Tell me about it.
还用你说
Did you know that poor people
你知不知道穷♥人♥
don't even have to do gala season?
根本就没有晚会季
What? They just skip it?
什么他们就跳过去不过了吗
Why do they look so tired all the time then?
那他们怎么整天看上去累的要死啊
So, you're coming tonight, though, right?
你今晚会出席的吧对不
Well, obviously. It's my gala.
当然了是我的晚会嘛
Why do you think I'm here,
不然我为啥要来这儿
getting nothing rejuvenated... Don't worry about it.
我又不需要微整形什么的别说这个了
No, your gala is December 10th.
不对你的晚会时在12月10号♥
Tonight's my benefit for Lupus Awareness Awareness.
今晚是我的红斑狼疮启蒙会义卖♥♥啊
Not enough people know about Lupus Awareness.
人们对红斑狼疮的认识太少了
December?
12月
No.
不
This is clearly a mistake.
肯定是搞错了
We couldn't have scheduled our galas on the same night.
我们不会把晚会安排到同一晚吧
What if we did?
如果是怎么办
That would be... interesting.
那就有意思了啊
That would be a disaster! Exactly!
那就是个灾难没错
For one of us. But who?
我们其中一个人的灾难会是谁呢
I haven't felt this alive since I left the State Department.
自从离开国♥务♥院♥我还没从这么激动过
You know, I faked the Saddam capture.
知道吗是我捏造的萨♥达♥姆♥已经被捕
He's still out there.
他还是在逃呢
Oh, you know what, Deirdre? I just remembered.
不好意思 Deirdre 我刚刚想起来
I need to rush out of here making weird panicked noises.
我得赶紧出去惊慌怪叫了
I met a really cute guy at a restaurant where I peed!
我今天在我尿尿的饭店里遇到了一个帅哥
Gross. Tell me more.
恶心人继续说
He was a handsome soldier,
他是个英俊的军人
just like Lieutenant Dan, or Colonel Sanders!
就像阿甘里的丹中尉或者肯德基上校
And he thought I was a soldier too.
而且他以为我也是个军人
'Cause I'm tough, like a soldier.
因为我很坚强像士兵一样
Hyah! Hyah! Do soldiers do that?
哈呀军人会不会这样做
Based on my Fleet Week experiences?
根据我参加舰队周的经验
Sometimes.
有时候会
It's just, I've taken some knocks,
最近我受了不少打击
and sometimes I felt like I was moving backwards,
有时候我觉得我就是在倒♥退♥
or sideways, or any way but forward.
或者走弯路反正是没前进
So we are talking about Fleet Week.
这么说我们是在讨论舰队周的事
But maybe this is forward.
也许这就是进步吧
A guy who really understands what I went through.
一个非常理解我遭遇的男人
When are you seeing him again?
你什么时候再和他见面
I can makeover montage Tuesday
周二或者周四我看完Wendy Williams脱口秀
or Thursday after "Wendy Williams."
可以帮你改头换面一下
Oh, I don't know if I'm seeing him again.
我也不知道会不会再见到他
I didn't do that part.
我没遇见过这种情况
Kimbecile, what do I always say?
小傻瓜我常说什么来着
"Don't touch my dolls, they're strictly look-upons"?
"别碰我的娃娃他们仅供欣赏"
Not that. "Only Aladdin can pull off harem pants"?
不是这句 "只有阿♥拉♥丁才适合穿阔腿裤"
Not that.
不是这句
"John Cusack got fat, but I still would"? No, get the digits!
"John Cusack发福了但我还是爱他" 不是永远记得要电♥话♥号♥码
The digits!
电♥话♥号♥码
Oh, look at us.
看看咱们俩
Both having man problems.
都有男人的苦恼
Is that why you've been shouting so much in the bathroom?
所以你才在卫生间大吼大叫吗
No, that's because of cheese.
不是那是因为奶酪
I'm talking about Mikey.
我是在说Mikey
He just talks and talks,
他总是啰嗦个没完
and I have to listen and listen.
我就得听啊听啊
It's exhausting.
烦死人了
Well, that's just part of dating in the '90s.
90年代的约会就是这样的
Like compromising, or women be shopping.
就好像迁就啦女人购物啦
Ham-burger!
汉堡
Relationships are hard.
谈恋爱太难了
I don't know how Jackie Onassis did it twice.
真不知道Jackie Onassis怎么做到两次的
Look, in the bunker, I got pretty good
在地堡的时候我学会了
at pretending to pay attention to people.
如何假装关注别人
Whenever anyone was talking nonsense,
当有人废话连篇的时候
I'd just pretend their eyes and mouth were flipped.
我就想象他们的眼睛和嘴巴反转过来
He was a ghost the whole time.
原来他一直是鬼魂
Oh, another movie idea I have is about a village
我还有一个电影创意是说一个村子
you think is in olden times,
你以为是古时候的事
but no, it's in now times.
但是错了其实是现代的事
Oh, also, I have another idea
我还有个创意
where the bad guys are plants,
坏人都是植物
but Marky Mark is there!
马克沃尔伯格会出演
It's hard not to look interested
一张反转的脸对着你说话
when an upside-down face is talking at you.
很难觉得不好笑呢
Kimpanzee, you may have lived through a nightmare,
Kim小猩猩你是经历了一场噩梦
but you learned so much cool stuff.
但是你学了好多炫酷技能啊
Like how to dress a pretend salad?
比如调制一份假沙拉
"Salad"? Starter. Track and field.
"沙拉" 前菜(发令员) 田径赛
Field greens. Salad.
青菜沙拉
Dress... Dress!
调制礼服(两者为同一个单词)
I left the dress at the restaurant!
我把礼服忘在饭店了
Why does Deirdre Robespierre
为什么Deirdre Robespierre
think my benefit is two months from now,
认为我的晚会是在两个月以后
instead of tonight?
而不是今晚
Oh, maybe she got hacked, like on the news.
她是不是被黑客入侵啦像新闻上那样
Am I using that right?
这个说法对不对
What have you done?
你做了什么啊