我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E03

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

How's the one-man show coming?
独角戏准备的怎么样了
Are you up to the part where you meet me?
写到我们俩初次相遇的场景了吗
Like...
比如这样
Who's that Kimmy knocking on my door,
敲门的Kimmy是哪位
eating pickle chicken on the hospital floor.
医院地板上吃腌黄瓜和鸡肉
No, I'm not doing that show anymore.
没我不想表演它了
What? You're giving up already?
什么你这就放弃了
I realized the one-man show about my life has been done.
我发现讲述我人生的独角戏早已烂大街了
Small-town boy moves to the big city
小镇男孩独闯大都市
to come out of the closet and become a star?
梦想着骄傲出柜并且成为一代巨星
That describes literally everyone I know:
我认识的每个人几乎都是这样的
Rick from work, my old trick Fabian,
比如我的同事Rick 老相好Fabian
even the man whose name I will not mention,
甚至那个我提都不想提及的人
Coriolanus Burt.
Coriolanus Burt
Damn it.
可恶
Touchdown!
达阵成功
Ha-ha!
哈哈
But the only score I really cared about
但这不是我想要的
was the score...
我想要的
To a Broadway Show
是登上百老汇舞台
So what? Yours will be better.
那又怎么了你的秀会更精彩的
It certainly will,
当然会
because I'm still doing a show about myself,
因为我要表演关于自己的秀
just not this myself.
但并不是目前的自己
Oh... now I'm confused.
我不明白了
As you know, I vividly remember all my past lives.
你知道的我牢记我所有的前世生活
There's Cyrus, the first openly gay slave.
比如首位公开出柜的奴隶Cyrus
Alphonse, who almost invented the raisin.
差点发明出葡萄干的Alphonse
And Napoleon, a very sick parrot.
身体不太好的鹦鹉Napoleon
No pug dogs? For the last time, no!
没有巴哥狗我最后再说一遍没有
But none of my past selves
但我所有的前世人生
were more talented or more troubled
最多事又多才的
than the Japanese geisha Murasaki.
莫过于日本艺伎Murasaki
You're playing a Japanese woman?
你要演一个日本女人
Playing? I was a Japanese woman.
"演" 我前世就是一个日本女人
Well, if Aisha Tyler can play a white woman on Friends,
如果Aisha Tyler都能在<老友记>里演白人女性
then I guess it's okay.
我相信你能演日本女人
Ooh, can you come tomorrow night?
噢你明晚能来吗
I'm gonna start workshopping it.
我要组织一个研讨会
Wow, I'll be in the front row.
好啊我想坐第一排
Should I bring a tarp? Will I get wet?
我要带防水布吗我会被淋湿吗
Probably. I'm a sweater.
也许吧我很爱出汗
Now I just need to get posters printed and buy a new kimono.
现在我只需要印海报和买♥♥新和服了
What's wrong with all your other kimonos?
你那些旧和服有什么不合适吗
A person can outgrow a kimono. It happens all the time.
人会长得比和服大的这时常发生
They don't fit anymore. You happy now?
我穿不下那些了你高兴了吧
Bad dog. Bad!
坏狗狗坏坏
Can you schedule Abattoir a massage for tomorrow?
你能为Abattoir预约个明天的按♥摩♥吗
Really? So you can spend money on stuff like that?
真的吗你有闲钱干这些事吗
I told you. It's all about appearances right now.
我告诉过你这都是面子工程
If I walk around the city with a stressed-out dog,
如果我带着一条神经紧绷的狗狗上街
people are gonna talk.
人们会指指点点的
I mean, look at him. He's a wreck.
你看看他他看上去糟透了
It's a disaster!
这糟透了
Mimi Kanassis, no shoes on the rug!
Mimi Kanassis 不要穿鞋踩地毯
How did you get in here?
你怎么进来的
Who told you where I was living?
谁告诉你我住在这里了
My Adderall dealer goes to school with Buckley.
我的药贩和Buckley一起上学
Then I showed up downstairs,
我在楼下大堂
flashed my pearly whites at the doorman,
冲门卫闪了闪我的胸器
and here I am because of the news.
就上来了因为我看到这条新闻
That son of a bitch.
这个贱♥人♥
How could Julian do this?
Julian怎么能这么做
I know. Going public so soon?
我知道这么快就公开了
This is exactly what Stanley did to me.
当初Stanley也是这样
Jacqueline, we're the same.
Jacqueline 我们一样了
Closer than sisters.
比姐妹还亲
Is he just trying to hurt me?
他是想伤害我吗
Ms. White, I'm sorry. Oh!
White女士我很抱歉天哪
Oh, I thought you were a Jeff Koons sculpture
我以为你是Jeff Koons做的
of Ronald McDonald.
麦当劳叔叔雕像
This is so humiliating.
这太羞辱人了
Oh, I know. You'll get used to it.
我懂的你会习惯的
I did. No.
我就习惯了不
I'm gonna find a date and go to that wedding tomorrow,
我要找个男伴并且参加明天的婚礼
show everyone how great I'm doing.
告诉大家我活得有多好
And it'll be someone even richer than Julian.
而且他要比Julian更有钱
Well, maybe this new guy has a weird brother for me.
嗯也许他还有个适合我的奇葩兄弟
Wait, so you just want to go back to being arm candy
等等所以你又要变回大富豪身边
for some old Richie Rich?
的花瓶女伴吗
Ms. White, you worked so hard to get away from all that.
White女士你那么努力才摆脱那些的
I'm not letting you do this.
我不会让你那么做的
Try and stop us!
试试阻止我们啊
No, please don't. I need this so bad.
别拜托不要我真的很需要这个
Pull yourself together, Kanassis.
振作起来 Kanassis
We're going out tonight, and you're my wingman.
我们今晚出去你就是我的后援
Yes! Turtle gets his!
耶米有问题
Hey, hey!
嘿嘿
Yo, B, who's F-10-5?
哟小子谁是"F 10 5"
Never heard of them.
从没听说过
They one of those Tejano gangs or something?
他们是哈纳诺黑帮之类的吗
Of course!
当然啦
Effe-ten-cinco.
Effe ten cinco(西语的"F 10 5")
Oh, I think I heard of them.
哦我大概听说过
Hey... maybe there'll be a gang war.
嘿也许会有一场黑帮交火
Someone gets shot.
有人中弹
We paint them on the wall.
我们把他们画在墙上
But maybe they're not really dead.
但也许他们并没死
We keep releasing albums...
我们不断发专辑
One step at a time, Lillian.
一步一个脚印 Lillian
One step at a time.
一步一个脚印
Time to get more Ds
比读写障碍的孩子
than a kid with undiagnosed dyslexia.
拿更多D(美刀)的时候到啦
Mm, everyone's looking at me.
嗯每个人都在看我
Tucker Cobblepot,
Tucker Cobblepot
how do you keep getting younger?
你怎么能越来越年轻的
Oh, I did that thing Trump did,
哦我做了那个Trump做的手术
where they gather your head skin up
他们把你头上的皮拉紧
and tie it in a knot on the top of your skull
然后绑到头顶打一个结
and then cut new face holes in what used to be your neck.
之后他们就在本来是脖子的地方割一个新的脸
It's working.
真有效
Ah-ha-ha-ha!
啊哈哈哈
I see you met my grandmother.
看来你已经见过我奶奶了
Mmm. Onion.
嗯洋葱
What are you doing here?
你在这里干嘛
I hid in the trunk of your taxi,
我藏在你出租车的后备箱
and I'm not letting you do this.
我不会让你这么做的
Where were we?
我们到哪了
Oh-ho-ho, right.
哦吼吼对了
You were about to kiss me with your dental slit.
你正要用你的牙缝亲吻我呢
No, no, no, believe me, Jacqueline, I'd love to, but I can't.
不不不相信我 Jacqueline 我很想但我不能
I don't understand.
我不懂
Julian and I are partners in a deal to frack in Central Park.
Julian和我在中♥央♥公园的生意上是合作伙伴
And it's not just me. We all do business with Julian Voorhees.
不只是我我们都是Julian的生意伙伴
You are strictly off-limits.
你是绝对不能碰的
Well, then how am I supposed to get back at him?
那我要怎么报复他呢
I don't know. Kill yourself in his office?
不知道在他办公室自杀吧
I always hate that.
我挺讨厌这种报复方式的
I didn't even know I was into this.
我都不知道我会喜欢这个
Ugh!
呃