我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E13

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

Lori-Ann Schmidt is playing you 'cause she doesn't want to deal.
Lori-Ann Schmidt在耍你她根本不想面对你
You just watch.
你等着看吧
If she even gets a whiff of anything serious,
你只要一提正经事
she'll just change the subject
她马上转移话题
faster than a theoretical speed-of-light spacecraft
速度比光速飞船还快
on which I would age more slowly.
坐上就能老得更慢那种
See? I love space!
看见没我爱外太空
Oh, the game's almost on!
哦比赛马上就开始了
Hey, Jacqueline, you're not one of those girls
嘿 Jacqueline 你不会是那种
who don't like football, are you?
不喜欢橄榄球的姑娘吧
Are you kidding? I hate those women.
开玩笑吗我最不喜欢那种女人了
I love football.
我爱橄榄球
We Snyders love our football.
我们Snyder家人超爱橄榄球
We all had to play it in high school.
每个人高中时必须要玩
Don't! I'm not open yet! Haha!
别我还没准备好哈哈
We're minutes away from kickoff here in Dallas
这里是达拉斯还有几分钟比赛就要开始了
as the Cowboys prepare to take on the, uh...
所有西部牛仔都已准备好对战呃
team that is from Washington.
来自华盛顿的队伍了
And what a game we have for you today.
今天的比赛真是令人期待
So you guys are Redskins fans?
你们都是华盛顿红皮队的粉丝吗
Well, I don't want to brag, but, uh,
嗯我不想吹牛但是
we kind of own the team.
我们差不多是拥有这支球队
How is that not the first thing you say to women?
这难道不是你的撩妹第一招吗
Huh? What do you lead with, your foot nipple?
所以你都聊什么你脚上的乳♥头♥吗
No. Hmm.
不是哼
Honey, we've owned the Redskins since 1938.
亲爱的我们从1938年就拥有红皮队
You see, while the team was driving to Philadelphia
当年这只队伍驱车开往费城
for a game, they got lost on my grandfather's land,
参加比赛在我祖父的土地上迷路了
and in exchange for the trademark, he let them live.
交易的价码就是让他们活着离开
But don't you think the name is a little,
你们不觉得这个名字有一点
uh, old-fashioned?
太老了吗
Exactly. It's been around forever.
正是如此世世代代都这么叫
And I happen to respect tradition.
而我正巧非常尊重传统
It's why I get operated on by my barber.
这也是我让依旧我的理发师给我做手术的原因
And the name is honoring those Native guys.
而且这个名字是对土著人的尊重
It's saying they're tough.
说明他们很坚强
Plus, how do you know that "Redskins" Isn't about potatoes?
再说你怎么知道'红皮'说得不是土豆呢
Bingo.
没有错
It's just some people find it offensive...
但是有些人会觉得不礼貌
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Jacqueline, look,
等等等等Jacqueline 听我说
some of my best statues are of Indians.
一些我最棒的雕塑都是刻得印第安人
And the Redskins' very first coach was Lone Star Dietz,
红皮队的第一任教练可是孤星Dietz
a man who pretended to be Indian
一个假装自己是印第安裔
so that he could get out of World War I.
好躲过第一次世界大战的人
That's right.
没有错
**Heil to the Redskins*
*红皮队万岁
**Scalp the other team*
*剥了其他队伍的皮
**Celebrate with fire water*
*以烈酒庆祝
**Help Germany win the war*
*帮助德国佬赢得战争
Man, a ball pit is definitely my favorite kind of pit.
天啊海洋球大坑是我最喜欢的大坑
Sweetie, get your shoes on.
宝贝去穿鞋
I just realized this watch we found in Fievel's Playland
我刚意识到这只在Fievel游乐场发现的表
was set to mountain.
是不准的
Rip Ride Rockit's in ten minutes.
疯狂过山车十分钟之后就轮到我们了
See you, guys! You're the best.
再见喽你们是最棒了
You're too big.
你太大啦
Kimmy, we got to go.
Kimmy 我们得走了
Mom, I'm hurrying.
妈我很快了
If we miss this, I don't get another chance to break my record.
如果没赶上我就没法破纪录了
I just got to get my shoes on.
我得穿上鞋啊
Oh, my gah.
诶呀我的天
Why can't you do that any faster?
你就不能快点儿
Because you never taught me how to tie my shoes.
因为你从来没教过我系鞋带
Why would he put his ear inside himself?
他为什么要把一只耳朵穿进自己身体
Huh? Oh!
啊哼
Bunny wraps one ear around the other ear,
小兔子把一只耳朵绕过另一只
pokes it into his skull,
穿进自己的脑壳里
'cause he has his reasons.
因为他自有原因
Why can't you just wear them Velcro shoes like I used to get you?
为什么不♥穿♥魔术扣写就像我给你买♥♥的那些
Because Velcro freaks me out now.
因为魔术扣让我抓狂
I don't know why.
我不知道为什么
Maybe it's something the Reverend would...
也许是跟牧师相关的
Ah, what? Come on, let's not...
啊啥快点我们
You know what? I'm going.
好吧我自己走了
We've got time!
我们还有时间
Titus was right.
Titus说得没错
Ow!
啊
Ugh. Mom!
妈
I tried everything I could think of
我已经尽了一切可能
to keep this neighborhood weird and dangerous.
维持这个社区的奇葩度和危险性
Now the only thing left to do
我现在唯一能做的
is to sell to some yuppie creeps,
就是把房♥子卖♥♥给雅痞变♥态♥
take the money,
拿到钱
and leave a good-looking corpse in Waikiki.
在怀基基海滩留下一具美丽的尸体
Then I travel the world.
然后环游世界
What white creep in a suit is this gonna be?
这次又是哪个穿西服的变♥态♥
Ms. Kaushtupper? I saw you on New York One.
Kaushtupper女士我在纽约第一电视台看到你
It was inspiring. "Inspiring"?
真是振奋人心振奋
What are you, an ironic hipster?
你谁啊嘲讽别人的嬉皮士吗
My name is Winfred O'Prah. I work for ISUS.
我的名字是Winfred O'Prah 我为ISUS工作
ISIS? ISUS.
ISIS吗不是ISUS
The Interborough Society for Urban Settlement.
城市居民区交通协会
We're devoted to curtailing new development
我们致力于地址
in New York's historic neighborhoods.
在纽约老城区的新建筑
Also, we had the name first.
而且是我们先起的这个名字
Ms. Kaushtupper, have you ever thought
Kaushtupper女士你有没有想过
about running for office?
竞选公职
I hadn't thought of that.
我确实没想过
"Mayor Kaushtupper Still At Large,
'市长Kaushtupper仍然在逃
colon, Authorities Baffled."
冒号♥ 当局很困惑'
Let's talk, you white prick.
我们谈谈吧白色人♥渣♥
I can't believe I won that raffle.
简直不敢相信我中了那张彩券
You know how I'm like an astronaut?
你知道我跟宇航员有多相似吗
I'm out of this world,
我们都超'凡'脱俗
and I once had to poop in a vacuum.
有一次我还在真空(吸尘机)里拉屎
I love Titusville.
我爱Titus镇
Ooh, you know what we should do?
你知道我们该干什么吗
We should use "Titus" The way Smurfs use "Smurf."
我们应该像蓝精灵一样使用'Titus'这个词
May I have a glass of Titus with some Titus?
我能要一杯加了Titus的Titus吗
But no Titus on it. I'm deathly allergi-Titus.
但是不要放Titus 因为我对Titus严重过敏
"That's one small soup for man,
这个一个人的一小碗汤
one giant sandwich for mankind."
整个人类的一个巨大三明治
Hi, Titus, I'm your astronaut, Captain Mooney.
嗨Titus 我是你的宇航员 Mooney船长
No pun intended.
此处没有双关
None gotten.
没听出来
You're an astronaut? Mmhmm.
你是宇航员嗯
Prove it.
证明给我看
Tell me a story about space.
给我讲一个太空故事
Oh, I've been to space many times.
哦我多次深入太空之中
From a distance, the Earth looks blue and green.
从太空看地球蓝绿交织的星球
And the snowcapped mountains? White.
还有那雪山之顶白雪皑皑
From a distance, the ocean meets the stream,
从太空看地球百川汇入大海
and the eagle takes to flight.
雄鹰展翅翱翔
Space Judas!
太空犹大
Those are the lyrics to Bette Midler's "From A Distance."
这是Bette Midler's<在远方>的歌♥词
You're no astronaut. No, I am. Really.
你才不是宇航员我真的是
It's just...
只是
they shut down the manned
他们叫停了载人飞船项目
space program before I got to do anything.
在我参加任何飞行之前
And I found out about it in the worst way possible:
而且我是用最坏的方法得知这个消息