我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E02

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

and I absolutely underestimated Deirdre.
而且我之前完全错怪了Deirdre
What a sweetheart!
她人真好
She's so nice.
她真是太好了
She remembered my name,
她还记得我的名字
and she said since you've been traveling,
她还说因为你一直在旅游
she'll come to you.
她要来找你
And where exactly do you expect her to go?
那你打算让她上哪找我
Perhaps we should meet at the apartment that I don't have?
在已经不属于我的公♥寓♥里面
Or did you expect her to come here?
还是你打算让她上这儿来
To this?
就这儿
I call it Kimmy's Klubhouse, with two "K" S.
我管这里叫Kimmy俱乐部俱乐部的C换成K
That's why Deirdre wanted to have a playdate,
这才是Deirdre想要约我的原因
to see how I'm living now.
看看我现在活得如何
Can't you just say we'll meet in the park?
你就不能说直接在公园见吗
She'll see right through that.
她一下就被识破了
People don't go to the park when they have their own backyards and terraces.
自家有后院的人是不会去公园的
Unless you have something even better planned.
除非你有特殊的安排
Like visiting a place where it's Christmas all year and you have to guess whether it's a man?
比如说去一个每天都是过圣诞节的地方还不用猜那人是男是女
It has to be something that requires access,
一定得是一个只有内部人
connections, special treatment.
拉关系特别待遇才能去的地方
I went to a playdate once where the kids got to run the Greek economy.
我以前有一次带孩子们玩的是操控希腊经济
We can beat that.
我们可以更棒
What are nine-year-old boys into?
九岁男孩都喜欢什么
Koosh balls. Pokemon.
噗嗤球口袋妖怪
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
忍♥者神龟
Yes, the Mutant Ninja Turtles. I can work with that.
没错忍♥者神龟这个可以啊
Really? That one's still a thing?
真的吗现在还有这个吗
Why? Focus up, Kimmy.
为什么打起精神来 Kimmy
I need you to run back to the town house...
我需要你飞快跑回到以前的房♥子
Just practicing.
我练习一下
I knew there was more plan.
我知道还有下一句
What's up?
什么事
Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power!
穿着龟壳的英雄神龟能量
Whoever wrote that song deserves to be a billionaire!
写这个歌♥的人应该成为亿万富翁
Oh.
这儿
What are you still doing here?
你还在这里干什么
Are you crying?
你是哭了吗
No, this is the cool way to do your makeup now.
不是这是现在最潮的妆
I know.
我知道
I subscribe to "Teen Beat".
我有订<年轻节奏>
You're insane.
你有病吧
Look, I know change is hard...
我知道改变很难接受
Do you?
你知道
This house has been the only constant in my life.
这房♥子是我生活中唯一一直陪伴我的东西
Every year, it's like, "Here's your new mom,
每一年都是"这是你新妈
your new school,
你的新学校
your new nose"...
你的新鼻子"
What? No. Shut up!
什么不住嘴
I actually had to leave my home when I was about your age.
我像你这么大年纪的时候也是被迫离家
Yeah?
是吗
Well, I bet you hate the person who made you do it.
是啊我想你一定恨那个逼你离开的人
Guess what, Kimmy.
你猜怎么着 Kimmy
For me,
对于我来说
that person's you.
那个人就是你
But that makes me the Reverend.
这么说的话我就成了那个牧师
I'm not the Reverend.
我才不是呢
Oh, Kimmy.
哦 Kimmy
Wonderful.
太棒啦
Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, Kimmy,
哦 Kimmy
I also need you to call my hotel.
我还需要你给宾馆打电♥话♥
My suite is so big, I keep getting lost.
我的套房♥太大了我总是走丢
Have them send up a guide monkey.
让他们送上来一只指路猴子
Does Deirdre look impressed?
Deirdre有没有眼前一亮
Damn it, don't look.
该死别看
Does she? I'm a good person, right?
有没有我是个好人有没有
Who cares? I know I'm not perfect.
那又怎么样我知道我并不完美
I sometimes look at magazine covers without paying for them,
有时候我会看杂♥志♥的封面然后不给钱
and I've made some kissing mistakes...
我还亲了不该亲的人
Hey.
嘿
Making out with John Mayer is just part of living in New York.
和John Mayer乱搞是纽约生活的一部分
But I also help you all the time,
但是我一直在帮你
and I don't step on cracks,
而且我从来不睬地缝
even though I haven't seen my mother in years,
尽管我已经很多年没见过我妈了
and sending Xan to Connecticut was for her own good.
而把Xan送去康涅狄格也是为了她好
It doesn't make me the Reverend.
不能因此把我和那个牧师相提并论
I think it's time for some Mutant Ninja Turtles to go an adventure!
我想现在是忍♥者神龟的探险时间了
These costumes are just wonderful.
这些服装真是太棒了
The tortoise shells were collected by Buckley's grandfather
这些龟壳是Buckley的爷爷
during a hunting trip to the Galapagos.
去加拉巴哥打猎带回来的
Oh.
哦
We need to get through this, Schmidt.
我们必须得过了这个坎 Schmidt
You're not the Reverend, okay?
你不是牧师行吗
Now get these kids underground, and don't let the police see you.
现在带着孩子们钻下水道去吧别让警♥察♥看见
All right, Turtles!
好嘞龟龟们
Let's go to your secret hideout in the sewer!
让我们去下水道里的秘密隐藏点吧
Yeah!
耶
Okay, come on.
快来
Be safe. Bye.
注意安全拜
She should not be able to do that.
她不应该这么大力
Look, a rat!
看老鼠
Is it Master Splinter? Mmhmm.
它是Splinter大♥师♥吗对啊
Oh, yeah!
噢耶
There's hundreds of them.
这里得有上百只
Ugh.
呃
So how's the apartment hunt?
所以房♥子找得怎么样了
Everything's too affordable.
所有的东西都太便宜了
I really like that new building that Rem Koolhaas and Michael Stipe designed.
我真的很喜欢Rem Koolhaas和Michael Stipe设计的新建筑
The Rem Koolhaas R.E.M. Cool House?
Rem Koolhaas 就是REM酷房♥吗
Hmm?
对的
Oh, a Birkin bag.
哦柏金包
It's the one that's made entirely out of famous Internet cats.
这个就是全用网红猫做的那只
Oh, no, no, I know.
哦不不我知道
It's just, those came out last year.
只是这个去年就出了
This is exactly why I love you, Jacqueline.
这就是我为什么喜欢你 Jacqueline
You don't care what anybody thinks.
你从来不在乎别人的看法
Oh, Deirdre.
哦 Deirdre
I never can tell if you're trying to help me or destroy me!
我永远也分不出你是帮我还是坑我
I honestly don't know!
真心不知道
I have a degree in political science from Princeton,
我拿到普林斯顿大学政♥治♥学的学位
and all that wasted mental energy has to go somewhere.
我这过剩的脑细胞总得找个地方安放
I'll be in intimates.
我去看内衣了
Is this some sort of joke?
这是个笑话吗
Is this sticker a phone call from Crank Yankers?
这贴纸是<小丽接电♥话♥>的恶搞吗
Is it?
是吗
The culottes can also be used as pants for stuffed animals.
这个裙裤还可以给毛绒玩具当裤子哦
Hey, Titus, you got a D battery on you?
嘿 Titus 你身上有没有D号♥电池
I want to whip a Philadelphia snowball at those hipsters.
我想往那帮洗剪吹身上砸费城雪球
Millennials.
九零后们
They'll appreciate me.
他们会懂我
Millennia, this is perfect.
九零后这个简直完美
For our sketch show about ladies who work at Jennifer Convertibles!
我们剧中在Jennifer家具城上班的那些女人正好可以用
Unacceptable!
简直难以接受
You people don't know the meaning of the word "Sensuali-Titus-travaganza!"
你们根本不知道"性感Titus式狂拽"的含义
That's it!
我受够了
Donation canceled!
取消捐赠
Pearls before swine!
真不识货
I should have known better.
我早该知道是这样
You people don't deserve Titus!
你们这群人根本配不上Titus
And I was wearing this when I came in.
还有我进来的时候就穿着这件