我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E05

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

"Treats hyperactivity, ADHD,
"专治活动亢进多动症"
and Kanye West Spectrum Disorder."
"以及侃爷型失调"
No, my son doesn't need to be medicated.
不行我儿子不需要吃药
He just bites sometimes to loosen his baby teeth.
他咬人是为了松动他的乳牙
No, I'm not saying Buckley has any diagnosable
别紧张我不是想说Buckley有任何确诊了的
behavioral disorder, just he's a handful.
行为失调他是个熊孩子(一把)
Which is a medical term for how many pills he needs.
这是个医学术语说明他需要吃多少药
Think it over.
考虑一下
You're my bitch, Geoffrey.
臣服大爷胯下吧 Geoffrey
Okay, Kimmy, just pretend it's any old door.
别紧张 Kimmy 这就是一扇普通的破门
Hey, door. What's up?
嘿门啊你好吗
Cool, cool.
那就好好
You ever miss being a tree?
有没有怀念以前还是一棵树的日子
Yeah, I get that.
是啊我懂了
Anyway, just gonna shove a letter-ino up your mouth flap.
没什么就是要把这封信塞进你嘴里
Sonja!
Sonja
Hi, Kimmy!
嗨 Kimmy
We never see you anymore!
好久不见了啊
Come in.
快进来
Oh, no. I can't stay.
哦不行我不能久坐
You two catch up.
你们两个聊着
I'll make popsicles for everyone.
我去做点棒冰给大家吃
Oh, no, you don't...
哦你别麻烦
Kimmy, I thought I made myself clear.
Kimmy 我觉得我说的够清楚了
Clearly Canadian.
清得跟水一样
Crystal Pepsi.
透心凉心飞扬
I was just dropping off your GED letter.
我就是来给你送GED的信
My test is in a couple weeks.
我过几周就要考试了
Cool, well, I guess we're done here.
哦好吧那我的任务完成了
Oh, do you have my blue scrunchie?
哦你有没有看到我的蓝色发圈
I left it at your party.
我落在你的派对上了
It smells like Salon Selectives and silverfish poison?
闻起来像洗发水和书虫防蛀剂
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你在说什么
It's fine if you threw it out, you just owe me 78 cents.
被你扔掉了也没关系只不过你欠我7毛8分钱
And I'll pay you when I have that kind of money lying around.
等到我有钱周转的时候我会还给你
Dong, are you okay?
Dong 你还好吗
Sonja and I have an interview tomorrow at Immigration.
Sonja和我明天要去移♥民♥局面谈
If we can't prove we're a real couple, I'll get deported.
要是不能证明我们真的是夫妻的话我会被遣返的
I don't want to go back to Vietnam, Kimmy.
我不想回到越南 Kimmy
It's full of baby boomer tourists
那里全是去体验生活的
trying to feel something.
老年观光客
Look, you always knew how to prepare for a test.
别急你一向很擅长准备考试
What do you have so far?
你现在准备了哪些材料
Our wedding album.
婚礼相册
This is the only picture.
就这么一张照片
Is this from a security camera?
这是用监视器拍的吗
No, it's from our witnesses:
不这是我们的见证人拍的
two Harlem Globetrotters
一对在我们之后结婚的
who were getting gay married right after us.
哈林篮球队的同性恋夫妇拍的
So make a fake photo album.
那就做一份假的相册簿吧
In my experience, if someone has good pictures and a glue stick,
以我的经验来看只要有好照片和一个胶棒
they can make it look like they dunked on Jesus,
就可以让一切真实得像是上帝的旨意
and some girls will believe it, for, like, 15 years.
有些无知少女就这样被蒙在鼓里长达15年
I'm sure you and Sonja
你一定会找到一个人
have someone who could help you take pictures.
帮你和Sonja拍点照片
I can ask Neptune to help.
我可以求海神波塞冬帮忙
Because he's a non-sexual friend.
因为他是我一个纯洁的异性伙伴
You're being paranoid, Dong.
Dong 你别疑神疑鬼的了
Anyway, the popsicles will just be another 40 minutes.
那个啥棒冰还需要四十分钟才能好
This is hopeless.
没戏了
Maybe...
也许
just let me help you.
让我帮你们吧
I don't know, Kimmy.
不太好吧 Kimmy
Are you sure you can handle that?
你能承受这一切吗
I mean...
我是说
Don't worry about me.
别为我担心
I'm like a biscotti.
我就是一根意式脆饼干
People act like I'm this sweet cookie,
大家都以为我是块美味的曲奇饼
but I'm really this super hard thing
但其实我非常强硬
that nobody knows what I am or why I am.
他们都不清楚我的真面目和存在的意义
So let's do this!
我们来搞定
Let's take a bunch of pictures of you and Sonja
我来拍一些你和Sonja二人如胶似漆
going to first base super hard on each other!
难舍难离的亲密照片吧
Okay, so you can be Megatron, and I'll be Optimus Prime.
好了你来当威震天我是擎天柱
Okay.
好吧
Hey, other robot guys, let's go save the sun or whatever.
那个其他的机器人啊我们来拯救太阳什么的吧
No!
不对
You're a bad guy.
你是大反派
Oh, God.
哦天呐
Okay, ow. All right.
好了疼够了
Okay, I extinguished your Allspark.
我破坏了你的火种源
Now you're dead. Oh, no.
你已经死了哦不要
Now I'll have to lie down and be left alone.
我得孤零零地躺在这里了
Kimmy, where are you?
Kimmy 你在哪儿呢
I need some help here. Hey, no.
我需要帮助嘿别动
You have to stay still until Sky Lynx saves you.
你得等到天猫号♥来救你
You lost your Allspark. Okay, okay, okay.
你失去了你的能量火源好的好的好的
Ms. White, I'm sorry. I can't come over right now.
White太太抱歉了我现在过不去
I have the GED and a crafting emergency...
我有GED考试还有个紧急手工要做
Are you listing things at me?
你居然还给我列清单
I need you here now.
我现在就需要你过来
There's no school and I don't have a television.
他不用上学我又没电视
Lagerfeld is sending over a squad of his nastiest boys
Lagerfeld派了一队他最牛逼的手下
for my dress fitting.
来帮我搭配衣服
They hate children.
他们讨厌孩子
If my crotchfruit is here, they'll know I'm a moo!
要是我的孩子在这儿他们就知道我都当妈了
No, you can't move.
别你不能动
Ms. White, I'm sorry.
White太太真对不起
Don't be sorry,
别道歉
just get here.
快赶过来
You'll pay for this, Starscream.
你会付出代价的红蜘蛛
Kimmy, I've never spent an entire day
Kimmy 我从来没有和Buckley
alone with Buckley.
一起待过一整天
I've always had help from someone:
一直都有人帮我
a nanny or a driver
保姆司机
or an iPad taped to a bag of sugar.
或者是粘了一包糖的iPad
I don't know how to do this.
我不知道该怎么办
What if it poops?
它要是想大便怎么办
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么
Maybe you could take him to the park.
也许你可以带他去公园
He loves the big slide at 66th Street
他喜欢66街上的那个大滑梯
'cause sometimes nannies fall down it.
因为有时候保姆们会从上面摔下来
You might have fun.
你们会玩得开心的
Okay, so now I'll be Mark Wahlberg.
好了现在我来做马克·沃尔伯格
No!
不
Autobots, roll out!
汽车人们出来吧
Take that, Megatron!
接招吧威震天
**Stoop Crone, no loitering please.*
*驼背老太婆请别到处游荡
**Stoop Crone, you're kind of a skeeze*
*驼背老太婆你有点下流放荡
That better be from a musical.
这最好是音乐剧里的
Of course!
当然了
It's from Rodgers and Hammerstein's
这是Rodgers和Hammerstein的
Croon, Crone, Croon! Which was eventually reworked
<低吟老太婆低吟> 后来被重新改编
into The Sound of Music.
加入了<音乐之声>呢
Oh, thank you, Nazis, for saving show business.
谢谢了纳粹们拯救了演艺事业
I said it!
我就这么说了
Yeah, well, Kimmy never came back.
好吧 Kimmy一直没回来
Probably still with Dong making goo-goo eyes
也不能怪她还和Dong挤眉弄眼
'cause our building gives everyone pinkeye.
毕竟我们的大楼会让人得红眼病
So you think she still loves him?
你觉得她还爱着他吗