我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E04

Part 5 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

Thus, they are called sheeps.
所以它们才叫羊
Mike!
Mike
Listen, we need to talk about Titus.
我们得谈谈Titus
I mean, I know he hurt you.
我知道他伤害了你
What?
什么
Men can't hurt me.
男人才伤害不了我
Only chicks can.
小妞才能
Cheryl Tiegs, yo.
这是Cheryl Tiegs哈
I misspoke.
我说错了
I know I hurt you.
我知道我伤害了你
I didn't mean what I said to you on the phone.
我在电♥话♥里说的不是真心话
Look, Lillian,
听着 Lillian
last night, I felt like me and you
昨晚我感觉我和你
had this, like, chemical attraction.
之间有着化学反应般的吸引
There you go.
这就对了
But Titus is my first time going off-road,
但是Titus是我第一次走弯路
if you know what I mean.
你懂我的意思吧
I think he might be a little complicated for me right now.
我觉得目前他对我来说太复杂了
I know, right now, he's cocoon goo,
我知道他现在就是个茧
but someone like you could make him a butterfly.
但是像你这样的人可以使他变成蝴蝶的
I'm sorry, Lillian, but...
对不起 Lillian 但是
I got my own stuff to deal with.
我自己也有很多事要处理
Bye, Mikey.
再见了 Mikey
Let me just get one last taste of that hot ass.
让我最后再感受一下你的翘臀吧
Anyway, it turned out Kimmy was wrong.
总之结果发现Kimmy是错的
I can't make my own decisions,
我不能自己做决定
so I'm going to Arizona to meet the Founder.
所以我要去亚利桑那州找我的教主
And to you gentlemen,
对你们几位
I give my final earthly possession.
我就把我最后的地球财产给你们吧
Gretchen, wait!
Gretchen 等等
Don't give them your shirt.
别给他们你的T恤衫
Oh, man.
噢不是吧
You're not going back to Cosmetology.
你不能回美容教去
But I can't live in the real world.
但是我不能在真实世界生存啊
I know, but I found a different cult,
我知道但是我找到了另外一个邪教
one that's perfect for you.
非常适合你的邪教
Just listen to their leader talk...
听听他们的领导讲话吧
Shut up and let me hear the leader.
住嘴让我听听领导讲话
The sheeps must follow.
羊群必须跟随
Is that the sheep captain?
这是头羊吗
Only the sheeps know they know nothing.
只有羊知道它们什么也不懂
Dumb sheeps.
愚蠢的羊群
Dumb. I'm so dumb, Captain.
好蠢我真的好蠢首领
Two plus two is nine. The Earth is round.
二加二等于九地球是圆的
He's a genius.
他是个天才
"He," Gretchen? That was you.
"他"吗 Gretchen 那是你
I recorded you earlier.
我之前录下了你的话
Then I apped and made your voice Frasier.
然后我用你的软件把你的声音变成Frasier的
Then I used this little bad boy
然后我用这个小坏坏
and his record button to edit it.
和它的录音键编辑了一下
Look, I get that you need a cult,
我知道你需要一个邪教
but why can't it be your cult?
但是为什么不能是你自己的邪教呢
You want me to start my own church? No, I can't do that.
你想让我自己开个教堂吗不行我做不到
Are you kidding?
别开玩笑了
When you believe in something, no matter how dumb,
当你相信一件事的时候不论有多傻
I've seen you do the impossible.
我见过你做不可能的事
As we all know, Lil' Lisa died last night
我们都知道 Lil' Lisa昨晚过世了
from, I'm told, an exploded booby.
据说是因为胸部爆♥炸♥
But through her faith, she was taken up to girl heaven,
但是凭借她的信仰她肯定到达了女孩天堂
which is pink and stupid.
那里一派粉红蠢萌
Our faith will save us, sisters.
我们的信念会拯救我们的姐♥妹♥们♥
If we believe, there is nothing we cannot do.
只要我们相信就没有做不到的事
Holy sugar!
老天妈呀
Get your hand off, you idiot!
把手拿开你个傻瓜
Ay!
哎呀
She's crazy!
她疯了
Spanish-Spanish-Spanish! Right?!
西班牙语西班牙语我只会西班牙语对不
Praise Jeepers!
赞美老天爷
I tried to make you the person I wanted you to be,
我试图把你变成我希望你成为的人
but that's not you.
但那就不是你了
And that's okay.
不变也没关系
The real you is full of crazy nonsense.
真正的你充满了疯狂的念头
Mount Rushmore just grew like that.
我认为总统山是自然生成的
Yes, exactly.
对你就是这样
We're different people.
我们的性格不同
You can't move on from the bunker like I ha...
你不能像我那样把地堡抛之脑后
Ugh.
呃
So you're gonna move on in your own way
那么你就按照你自己的方式前进
by starting a cult.
先建立个邪教吧
You're gonna go to hell so bad.
你肯定会下地狱的
I know, Gretchen.
我知道 Gretchen
I know.
我知道
Titus, take that off.
Titus 拿下来吧
No.
不
'Cause I know this blanket would never hurt me.
因为我知道这个毯子不会伤害我
Ow!
嗷
I hate you, blanket.
我恨你毯子
Anybody home?
有人在家吗
Is that Mikey?
是Mikey吗
Hello?
有人吗
What is he doing here?
他来干什么
He can't see me looking unfabulous.
他不能看见这么不修边幅的我
Why do you care?
你有啥可在乎的
You said he's boring.
你说他很乏味啊
I don't care, obviously.
很明显我就是不在乎
I care.
我在乎啊
Shut up.
闭嘴
Just help me make my life look legendary.
快帮我让我的生活看起来活色生香
Since when do you question me?
你什么时候开始质疑我了
Hello?
有人吗
Oh.
噢
You are bad.
你好坏坏
Oh, hello, Michael.
你好 Michael
I'm actually in the middle of something.
我这儿正忙着呢
Get in here, Titus!
快进来 Titus
My butt's getting cold!
我的屁屁都冷啦
Oh.
噢
Well, I'm sorry to interrupt,
不好意思打搅你了
but I think I left my Multi-Tool here
但是我帮你修你的烤箱烘干机的时候
when I fixed your oven-dryer.
好像把多功能工具忘在这儿了
I just want to get it back.
我只想把它拿回来
I've got a mustache!
我胡子都长出来了
I'll just grab it and get out of your hair.
我拿上东西就走
You came back.
你回来了
No one comes back.
从来没人回来
Yeah, well, maybe you've been dating bad guys, Titus.
是啊也许你一直在约会坏男人 Titus
I'm actually a good guy.
我真的是个好人
So you'd never hurt me? What?
你永远不会伤害我吗什么
I can't say that.
我不敢这样说
You know I'm all about hakuna matata,
我知道我就是想开心过好每一天
but all I can promise is that it'd be different from...
但是我可以保证我肯定和
whatever that is.
屋里那种人不一样
We met on a bus!
我们是在公车上遇见的
I don't know why Kimmy is doing that.
我不知道Kimmy为什么要那样做哈
Let's make a baby!
我们生个孩子吧
But you're saying if I gave you a second chance...
但是你是说如果我再给你一次机会
If you gave me a second chance?
你再给我一次机会
Man, you are ridiculous.
天哪你真是不可思议
Thank you.
谢谢
Titus, I'm the one who'd have to Property Brothers
Titus 要冒险接你这个大工程