我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E07

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

What have who done? Me done?
谁做了什么我吗
Why is the date ahead of the month?
为什么日期写在月份前面啊
'Cause I was trying to do it fancy.
因为我想弄的高级一点啊
That's how they do it in England,
英国人就是这样写日期啊
like how "Lift" Means elevator,
比如"升降机"就是电梯
and "Fanny" Means chooch!
"臀部"就是屁♥股♥
What else were you in charge of?
还有什么是你负责的
I don't know! Keeping it fun over 50?
不知道啊年过五十还保持激♥情♥
Who else has the wrong date, Mimi?
谁还收到错误的日期了 Mimi
The venue!
晚会会场
I gave it fancy to the venue!
我用高级方式预约会场的
I left your dress at a restaurant
我把你的礼服忘在饭店了
and now it's gone like so many steaming nugs.
现在肯定像热气腾腾的炸鸡块一样早就不见了
Oh, no, Kimmy ruined your party.
不 Kimmy毁了你的晚会
What date did you give the vendors?
你给供应商们说的是哪一天
Tonight. October 12th.
今晚啊 10月12日
I remembered it like this:
我是这样记的
October is Halloween month,
10月有万圣节
and 12 is the spoo-ookiest number,
12是最可怕的数字
minus one.
减一
So the flowers, decorations, catering...
那么说鲜花装饰餐饮
it'll all be waiting at a venue that we have not booked!
全都会在会场等着而会场我们根本就没订
I did it the British way!
我用英国人的方式做的
That's what she said?
她也是这么说的
No.
不
I am afraid this time,
恐怕这一次
she said nothing of the sort.
她没说过这种话
Jacqueline!
Jacqueline
Thank you for your service.
感谢你为祖国的贡献
Keith, how'd you find me?
Keith 你怎么找到我的
Did you reposition a satellite
你是不是用卫星
to lock onto my coordinates?
定位我的坐标了
There's an address on this garment bag.
礼服袋子上有地址
Yeah. That's a bag.
是啊这是个袋子
The dress is inside it.
礼服是在里面
My brain is still mostly thinking about
我的大脑还是大部分时间在
where IEDs could be hidden,
想着哪里会有炸♥弹♥
like that pile of clearly empty boxes,
比如那边一堆可疑的空盒子
so I went and forgot to ask a pretty girl for her number.
所以我忘记问这位漂亮女孩要电♥话♥号♥码了
But maybe we could go out sometime?
不过也许我们可以找时间一起出去玩
Get the digits!
记得要电♥话♥号♥码
Hey, those are our speakers.
嘿这是我们的音箱
No, you got the wrong day, man!
不对你记错日子了伙计
You have the wrong day
是你记错时间了
No, those aren't for this event.
不那些不是这次晚会要用的
Sweetie, well, thank God, you didn't kill yourself,
亲爱的谢天谢地你没自杀
because I would have.
要是我我就自杀了
And I know exactly how and when.
而且我知道具体什么时候怎么自杀
Good news. I found out what went wrong.
好消息我找出问题所在了
Your month and date were flipped.
你的月份和日期写颠倒了
And "Dinner" Was spelled with a "U."
而且"晚餐"拼写多了个U
How do you have Sting? I have Sting!
你怎么订了Sting 是我订的啊
I emailed him myself!
我自己给他发的邮件
Oh, my God. He's British.
天哪他是英国人
He flipped the date the other way.
他把日期又看反了
Why didn't I just say "October"?
我为什么不直接说"10月"
I know, then none of this would be happening.
是啊那样就不会发生这些事了
I would be at home getting ready for your event.
我现在就会在家为你的晚会准备
Helping Reg put on his fun cuff links.
帮Reg带上他可笑的袖扣
Playing hide-and-go-seek with a four-year-old
和一个四岁的孩子玩捉迷藏
who has never beaten me once.
他可从来没咬过我哦
Then turning on the garbage disposal
然后打开垃圾处理器
to cover my screams.
掩盖我的尖叫声
Oh, no.
噢不
The food. The flowers.
食物鲜花
They're gonna throw it all out!
他们会都扔出去的
Why is someone with $1 1/2 billion so concerned about
有15亿的人还在乎
paying twice for flowers?
多付一次鲜花钱吗
Because I don't have $1 1/2 billion and you know it.
因为我没有15亿你明知故问
I do.
是啊
I mean, I didn't know-know, but I knew.
我是说我不确定但是我猜到了
Your feet aren't bleeding anywhere,
你的脚没有被磨得流血
which means you've worn those shoes before.
说明这双鞋是旧的
Look, Deirdre, just give me the space tonight.
Deirdre 今晚能不能把地方让给我
Every penny I have is tied into this gala.
我所有钱都押在这次晚会上了
Help me out, and I'll do whatever you want.
帮帮我吧我什么都听你的
I'll gain ten pounds and wear the same dress as you somewhere.
我会增肥十斤然后和你穿同样的裙子出现
I'll claim my farts in yoga.
在瑜伽班里你放的屁都算我的
I'll claim all of 'em!
所有你放的屁都算我的
What I want is for you to fight back!
我想要你做的是和我对着干
I watched you return to New York with nothing
我看着你一无所有的回到纽约
and claw your way to the top, and I thought,
一路爬到顶点我以为
"Finally, here is the Raphael
"终于有个旗鼓相当的对手了
to my Michelangelo,
就像拉斐尔和米开朗琪罗
the Leibniz to my Newton,
莱布尼茨和牛顿
the Lululemon to my Fabletics by Kate Hudson!"
Lululemon(瑜伽服品牌)和我专人设计的瑜伽服"
Don't quit!
别放弃
"How dull it is to pause,
"最单调最沉闷的是停留
to make an end,
是中止
to rust unburnished,
是蒙尘生锈
not to shine in use!"
而不在使用中发亮"
Unseat me as Alpha-Mom
做个合格的虎妈吧
as I did Jenny Chamberlain
像我去年在圣诞晚会上
at last year's Christmas Ho-Ho-Ho Down!
把Jenny Chamberlain拉下马
You're insane.
你疯了
Jinx.
你倒霉
My Nonno, he insists on still having a garden.
我的祖父非想要个花♥园♥
So I built him some window boxes for his tomato plants,
我只好给他的西红柿罗勒奶酪
his basil, his mozzarella bush...
做了个窗台花箱
Shoot. Those guys are from the site.
糟那是我工地的同事
Don't do anything gay.
别表现的像同性恋啊
I said don't do anything gay!
我说别表现的像同性恋
And don't stay stuff like "Theater,"
别说什么"剧场"的事
or "Salad," Or "Hey, let's all take a bath."
或者"沙拉" 或者 "我们一起去洗澡吧"
You know what? Just let me do the talking.
这样吧让我来负责聊天
I'm used to that,#WentThere#
我早都习惯了
You know I love your bitchy muttering, but not now.
你知道我喜欢你的小嘀咕但是现在不行
'Sup?
嘿
'Sup?
嘿
'Sup? Soup.
嘿黑
Eh.
呃
Just put the food in the fridge.
把食物都放到冰箱里
I'm gonna have to live off that forever.
我以后就得吃这些过日子了
I guess I should eat all the oysters first.
我应该先把那些生蚝吃了
But then I'd be so horny!
但是吃完我会欲♥火♥烧身的
No, Jacqueline, you can't give up.
别这样 Jacqueline 你不能放弃
Good things can happen when you least expect it.
你抱着希望的话事情还可能有转机的
You can go to the bathroom and find a beautiful man.
你可能去上厕所也会碰见一个帅哥的
Yeah, but then you sober up and realize
是啊但是等你酒醒了
you're just going to town on a mop.
会发现其实你抱着一个拖把亲热
Nothing good is going to happen!
不会发生什么好事的
I have no venue, no entertainment,
会场也没有娱乐节目也没有
and worst of all, no donors.
最可怕的是没有捐赠人
You have us.
你还有我们啊
Ugh, why would you say that?
呃你说这有什么用
You're making it worse.
你在雪上加霜
This isn't the first time you've had nothing.
这又不是你第一次一无所有
When you moved to New York,
你刚搬来纽约的时候
you only had the clothes on your back,
你就背了点衣服
but by the time I met you,
但是我认识你的时候