我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E10

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

No, I can't, stranger.
不能陌生人
But I can show you. Ooh.
但我可以带你去哦
Were you alone a lot as a child?
你小时候经常一个人吗
Oh, um, I guess.
哦是吧
Did you grow up in a two-parent household?
你小时候家里面父母都在吗
I'm sorry. Why are we talking about stuff
不好意思为什么要讨论
from before I was kidnapped?
我被绑♥架♥之前的事儿
I'm here to talk about the bunker.
我是来说地窖的事儿的
My prom date was a guy made out of cans
我的舞会男伴是用罐子做的
who went home with a different girl.
他最后还跟别的女孩走了
Kimmy, therapy isn't a quick fix.
Kimmy 心理咨♥询♥不能一蹴而就
It takes time.
需要时间慢慢来
And the bunker is not the only thing that defines you.
那个地窖不是唯一对你有影响的东西
I know that.
我知道
I just want to go fast.
我只是想讲快点
Straight to the breakthrough part.
直接快进到突破口
So if you need to know about my whole life, I'll do it.
如果你一定要了解我的整个人生也可以
Like the Micro Machines guy.
就像给玩具迷你机车做广♥告♥的那家伙
My parents met while my mom was a beauty technician
我父母相遇时我妈妈是美容师
and my dad came in to get a perm.
我爸爸是去烫头的
They did it once in the bathroom of a Ruby Tuesdays,
他们在红色星期二餐厅的厕所里做过一次
where he said, "This must be Booby Tuesdays."
他还说"这餐厅一定是叫大奶星期二"
I don't really know him, but his name starts with an S or a 5.
我并不认识他但是他名字的开头不是S就是5
I was born on a roller coaster during a tornado alert...
我是一次龙♥卷♥风♥预警时在过山车上出生的
Wait. What?
等等啥
What do we want?
我们要什么
When do we want it?
我们何时就要
Hey there.
嘿亲爱的
We thought you might want a little snack.
要不要来点儿小点心
It's our take on a Pop-Tart.
这是我们家版本的果酱馅饼
But because both those words are gendered, we call it a j'shnerp.
因为这两个名词阴阳性相斥所以我们就叫它"香我"
But I am protesting you.
但我是在抗♥议♥你啊
Oh, you are just the cutest.
哦你真是最萌的
Cutest?
最萌的
I was breaking into the Fed naked
我曾经裸体闯进美联储
with "OPEC" written on me in pig's blood
身上用猪血写着"OPEC"
before you were even a twinkle in the eye of the dog that mounted your mom.
那时候公狗还没骑上你妈让你妈怀上你
Write that down before it's lost forever.
趁还记得住快把这句话写下来
What?
啥
Girlie, you must have me confused
小姑娘你错了
with someone who doesn't have a throwing crab in her pocket.
我可不是兜里不揣螃蟹就上街的那种人
You should be scared of me!
你应该害怕我
Everything I own, I looted in the '77 blackout!
我所有的东西都是77年大停电的时候抢的
And when I needed new shoes,
我想要新鞋的时候
I caused the 2003 blackout.
我引发了2003年的大停电
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna lie to you.
抱歉但是我不想骗你
But his name is Lance. What's gay about that?
但是他叫Lance 一点也不弯啊
Actually, Kimmy, you should know, Lance is a super-gay name.
Kimmy 事实上Lance这个名字弯得不能再弯了
Well, that's our time.
好了时间到了
Wait. We're done?
等等这就结束了
No, nothing happened.
不啥也没解决啊
I told you this is a process.
我说了这需要过程
Frasier Crane would fix people's problems in one phone call.
Frasier Crane一个电♥话♥就搞定别人的问题
Then he'd throw a dinner party for the Seattle Opera
之后还能为西雅图歌♥剧团办晚宴
and be all, "Good God, Niles!"
还要说上几句"我的上帝啊 Niles"
Look, you can't force a breakthrough. So what?
听我说你不能强迫自己一定要有所突破不然呢
I'm just gonna keep coming here
我一遍一遍地来这里
and talking forever and never accomplishing anything
没完没了地唠然后一事无成吗
like those clowns in Congress?
就像国会里那些小丑
God, being in Congress must be fun.
天哪当国会议员一定很有趣
Okay, your need for validation is understandable.
好了你需要被认可的心情可以理解
Some of my clients get these after every session.
一些患者每次结束之后都会拿到这个
Stickers?
贴纸
"You're a superstar," says a star, sure...
"你是超级明星" 一个星星说的好吧
And it's wearing a cape?
它还穿着披风
Every time we talk, you get a little reminder of your progress.
每次谈话你的进步都会被记录下来
So one sticker a session?
每次只拿一个贴纸吗
Or do I get more stickers based on what I say?
还是根据我的表现可能拿到更多
'Cause that's a better system.
这样更有效果
Not telling you how to do your job.
我不是在指挥你如何做你的工作
You're the sticker doctor.
你才是贴纸医生
Today you get three:
今天你能拿到三个
one for coming in,
一个是因为你来了
one for doing some really good work,
一个是因为表现好
and one for coming back tomorrow.
最后一个鼓励你明天继续
Thanks, Andrea.
谢谢你 Andrea
Maybe that smiling purple ball is right.
也许这个微笑的紫色小球是对的
I am grape at this.
我紫恩腻害
Okay, that's funny.
好吧是很搞笑
...burning in hell with the rest of the Yankees, Lord.
和其他洋基队员一起在地狱里受罪吧主啊
Amen.
阿门
Amen.
阿门
What did I just serve myself? It's veal face.
我刚才拿的什么菜啊脸型小牛肉
Don't embarrass me. I got enough going on.
别让我难堪了我都够紧张的了
Dude, I'm sorry, but I'm freaking out a little.
伙计很抱歉但是我有点吓坏了
I feel sick to my stomach.
我觉得有点恶心
It's just, I don't want to upset my dad.
我只是不想让我爸爸生气
He's an emotional guy.
他很情绪化
Last family fight, he got up and drove to the cemetery
上次家里人吵架他起来开车跑到公墓
to go stand in his mausoleum.
站在自己的陵墓里
And my brother Dom, Jr.,
还有我的兄弟小Dom
he won't understand.
他不会理解的
He's a real guy's guy.
他是爷们儿中的爷们儿
That's why he's at the gym all the time
所以他总是和他的室友Lance
with his roommate, Lance.
一起去健身房♥
And then there's my Pupazza.
还有我家的老祖宗
Is that a person?
那是个人吗
If it is, this could kill her.
就算是我出柜会要了她的命的
I hate lying to my family,
我不想欺骗我的家人
but I don't know if I can do this.
但是我不知道我能不能做得到
Of course you can.
你当然可以
And I'm right here beside you.
我会在你身边支持你的
Come on, how bad can it be?
拜托能有多糟糕啊
Mikey's not eating.
Mikey怎么不吃东西
What's wrong with you? You don't want to be a little fat anymore?
你怎么了你不想再做一个微胖的人了吗
No, I'm just...
不是我只是
I'll eat later.
我一会儿再吃
Michael Michael Politano,
Michael Michael Politano
did you eat before you got here?
你是不是来之前就吃过东西了
No, I'm just not hungry.
没我只是不饿
There is no God.
没天理了啊
O Lucifer, receive your servant!
路西法收下你的仆人吧
And this is just about food.
为了吃的就闹成这样
You see what you're doing to your mother?
你看你把你妈气成什么样了
I have half a mind to go mausoleum right now!
我现在简直想去陵墓了
Satan, fill me with your seed! May Pupazza visit you in your dreams, Michael.
撒旦让我怀上你的后代吧希望你晚上梦到老祖宗 Michael
No, I'm just gay. Okay?
不我只是同性恋好吗
I'm gay.
我是同性恋
I'm nervous.
我很紧张
'Cause I didn't know how to tell you guys.
因为我不知道怎么跟你们开口
Titus isn't my fireman's doctor.
Titus不是我们消防局的医生
That was a lie.
那是骗你们的
He's my boyfriend.
他是我的男友
In the words of Sara Bareilles...
借用Sara Bareilles的话
Michael...
Michael
do you know what the church says about homosexuality?
你知道教会是怎么看待同性恋的吗
Hmm?
嗯
'Cause I don't anymore.
因为我是不知道了
Our gay pope seems to be for it.
我们的同性恋教皇看起来很支持
So who am I to go against our gay pope?
我有什么资格去反对我们的教皇呢