我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E01

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:57 p.m.

Mississippi was my bunker.
对我来说密西西比州就是一个坑
I start work Monday at Vonda's uncle's mulch business.
我从周一开始忙活Vonda她舅舅的摩奇生意
What's that you said?
你说什么
I said I start work Monday at Vonda's uncle's mulch business.
我说我从周一开始忙活Vonda她舅舅的摩奇生意
What now?
啥
I start work Monday... at Vonda's uncle's mulch business.
我从周一开始忙活Vonda她舅舅的摩奇生意
What, dear?
什么亲爱的
I said I'm a homosexual having a panic attack.
我说我是一个恐慌症发作的同性恋
Oh, isn't that wonderful?
这岂不是美妙极了
And now,
接下来
please welcome to the dance floor
让我们欢迎这对新人到舞池中♥央♥来
as they begin this second and final part of their lives,
他们将开启人生中的第二个也是最后一个阶段
Mr. And Mrs. Ronald Wilkerson!
有请Ronald Wilkerson夫妇
Aren't you Ronald Wilkerson?
你不就是Ronald Wilkerson吗
Who me? No, sir.
是说我吗不是先生
I'm...
我是
Ronald Wilkerson, show your face.
Ronald Wilkerson 请你现身
It took all the courage I had to escape.
我鼓起了最大的勇气去逃跑
Titus saved me from a life of babies and mulch.
Titus使我避免了那种除了小孩就是摩奇的生活
Now Vonda's gonna take away this beautiful world I built for my--
现在Vonda要夺走我所创造的美好世界
Damn silverfish.
该死的蠹虫
What if I go talk to Vonda?
如果我去跟Vonda谈呢
Maybe I could get through to her,
或许我可以打动她
woman to woman.
这是两个女人之间的交流
Ew.
恶
I'll take her out for ice cream.
我会带她出去吃冰淇淋
You can't be mad with a cone in your paw.
有甜筒在手上总不会生气了吧
Okay, but just in case, I'm gonna keep on packing,
好吧但是以防万一我要继续收拾东西
at least until my blood sugar drops.
至少也要等到我的血糖降下来
There it is.
降了降了
We are here today to celebrate one of our own,
今天我们在这里向我们之中的一员表示祝贺
Anthony Black Elk,
Anthony Black Elk
who's going away to Dartmouth College in a few days.
他将在几天后去达特茅斯学院上学
Don't become some d-bag lacrosse player.
不要去当傻♥逼♥曲棍球运动员
Honey, we invented lacrosse.
亲爱的是我们发明了曲棍球
I don't think that's right.
我不能认同
Anthony, this sacred pipe,
Anthony 这神圣的烟斗
the chanunpa,
名叫chanunpa
was carved nine generations ago.
是九代之前雕刻成的
It survived Wounded Knee,
它在翁迪德尼战役中幸存了下来
and we used it to pray for our brothers in Vietnam.
我们曾经用它来为越南战争中的兄弟们祈祷
And today we will ask the Great Spirit--
而今天我们将呼唤伟大的神灵
What the holy hell is this?
这他妈的是什么
It's a tobacco vape, Dad.
这是电子烟爸爸
Katherine Heigl uses one.
Katherine Heigl也抽这烟
Smoking kills, you guys.
吸烟有害健康啊各位
Where is that pipe, Jackie Lynn?
神圣烟斗在哪里 Jackie Lynn
I held it in the air, and a hawk took it.
我把烟斗举在空中它被一只鹰叼走了
Jackie Lynn...
Jackie Lynn
Oh, fine, it's in the hall closet behind the board games.
好吧烟斗在棋盘游戏后面的壁橱里
Addict.
老烟枪
Who is that?
谁在那里
Jackie Lynn, just use your contact lenses.
Jackie Lynn 戴上你的隐形眼镜吧
You need the prescription.
你需要按照医生的处方去做
No, Mom.
不妈妈
They turn my eyes blue.
它们会使我的眼睛变蓝的
And that's me giving in to white culture,
而且他们通过飞行射击游戏和对口型大作战
with their drone wars and lip-sync battles.
使我向白人文化屈服
Well, then order plain ones.
那就买♥♥没有颜色的嘛
Yesterday I saw you try to milk a male buffalo.
昨天我看到你在给雄野牛挤奶
Whatever, Mom.
无所谓妈妈
It worked. I put it in the fridge.
我挤出来了放到冰箱里了
And when are you gonna
那你准备什么时候
give back that police car you showed up in?
把你开来的那辆警车还回去
There's a raccoon living in it.
里面住着一只浣熊
Oh, he's not living in it.
它已经死了
原理同儿童锁
He got stuck in the back because of the prisoner locks
囚犯锁起了作用它被关在了警车后面
and he died of heatstroke.
然后它中暑死了
I know you mean well,
我知道你是好心
but just stop trying to help.
但不要再来帮忙了
But I want to help.
但是我想帮忙
All I want is to be the daughter
我只是想尽到自己
I should have been this whole time.
作为女儿的本分
Just tell me what I can do, and I won't let you down.
告诉我我能做什么我不会让你们失望的
I promise.
我保证
Well, you could go far, far in the fields
好吧你可以走远一点到田地去
and do the harvest super special important dance.
去跳超级特别而且非常重要的丰收舞蹈
That sounds important.
听起来好重要
I'll teach it to you.
我会教你怎么跳
Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Aloha.
再见
Oh, Jesus.
天啊
Look, the reason I called
听着我之所以打电♥话♥叫你出来
is 'cause Titus-- Dang!
是因为Titus 讨厌
Lick it.
快舔干净
What's your deal?
你有什么事吗
You're like a cartoon person.
你简直就像个卡♥通♥人物
Honestly, I don't even really want money from Ronald.
说实话我不是真的想要Ronald的钱
I just want him to apologize.
我只是想让他道歉
This might make me seem like a fool, Kimmy,
这样做可能会使我看上去像个傻瓜 Kimmy
but we loved each other.
但我们曾爱过彼此
I know we did.
我知道我们曾经爱过
I mean, I knew he liked men.
我是说我早就知道他喜欢男人
With Tim Meadows...
有请Tim Meadows
But he knew I liked skinny white boys.
但是他也知道我喜欢苗条的白人小子
Musical guest: Hootie & the Blowfish.
音乐表演嘉宾 Hootie & the Blowfish
Neither of us could live our truth in Chickasaw County.
我们都无法在奇克索县做真实的自己
So I thought, "We gonna live our lie together."
所以我想 "我们将一起生活在谎言之中"
But that night, our wedding night,
但是那天晚上我们婚礼那天晚上
when they realized Ronald ran away,
当大家意识到Ronald已经逃走了的时候
every one of his five aunties that raised him
抚养他长大成人的五个姑妈
had a heart attack.
统统都心脏病发作了
And he left me on that dance floor, alone,
他将我抛弃在舞池中我独自一人
with no choice but to Robocop my way to the car.
别无选择只好一路跳着机械舞回到了车里
That's terrible.
太糟糕了
Ronald Wilkerson would have never done that to me.
Ronald Wilkerson永远不会对我做那种事
That was your friend Titus.
是你的朋友Titus干的
I don't even recognize that man.
我甚至都认不出他来了
For what it's worth, he did get cheek implants that slipped.
无论怎样他确实填充过脸颊不过失败了
You're the new me.
你会重蹈我的覆辙
Look at you right now, trying to clean up his mess.
看看现在的你还在想办法收拾他的烂摊子
But once there's nothing else that Titus can get from you,
一旦你变得对他没有利用价值
he will leave you with an unpaid dental bill
他就会甩下一张待付的牙医账单和满满一冰箱
and a refrigerator full of spoiled wedding shrimp.
变质了的婚宴虾仁然后离你而去
Watch your back.
小心你的背后
And wash your arm, baby.
快去洗手吧宝贝
Why are you late?
你为什么迟到
Why did Mr. Lawyer call an emergency meeting?
为什么律师先生要召开紧急会议
Did Vonda do this?
是Vonda干的好事吗
Titus, the way you bailed on her,
Titus 你放她鸽子的把戏
have you ever done that to anyone else?
还在别人身上用过吗
A Sam Goody credit card.
一张山姆古迪商店的信♥用♥卡♥没还
My college football scholarship.
放弃了我的大学橄榄球奖学金
My cousin who got handsomer than me-- Stupid Darius.
还离开了长得比我帅的表弟大傻瓜Darius
Also, I'm not gonna pay this lawyer.
还有我不会付钱给这个律师
Well, I've got good news, and I've got bad news.
好吧我有一个好消息一个坏消息
The bad news is, Instagram canceled my account
坏消息是 Instagram删除了我的账号♥
due to lack of interest.
理由是我缺乏兴趣
The good news is that