我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E06

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**It's a miracle*
*真是个奇迹
**Unbreakable*
*坚不可摧
**They alive, damn it*
*她们活下来了卧♥槽♥
**That's gonna be, uh...*
*接下来是
**you know uh a fascinating transition.*
*那个华丽的变身
**Damn it*
*卧♥槽♥
What took you so long?
你震么震么慢
Why are we lisping?
为啥要嘴里漏风
We are not lisping.
不是故意漏风
I shattered a tooth.
我叼了一颗牙
Stop saying "S" S, stupid.
别说带"S"的字了该屎的
One moment.
等等
You have to talk to the dentist.
你来和牙医说
They're not taking me seriously.
他们不把我当回事
That's why you called me over?
所以你才喊我来
I got to get back to work.
我得回去上班
Say you're me and you have to get in today.
就说你是我你今天必须排上号♥
Hello, poppets!
你好啊乖孩子们
I don't talk like Mrs. Doubtfire.
我说话才不像窈窕奶爸呢
It's always weird to hear your own voice.
听自己的声音总觉得奇怪的
I asked the doctor, but the soonest I can get you in
我问过医生了但是最快你也只能
is in three weeks.
排到三周后
It's the beginning of bleaching season,
美白季节开始了
and people tend to start with the teeth
人们习惯先从牙齿开始
and work their way down.
从上往下开始美白
Oh, children!
噢孩子啊
And I see here that you're no longer on Mr. Voorhees' plan,
而且我看到你已经不在Voorhees先生的保险计划中了
so please be sure to bring some form of payment.
所以过来的时候请确定一下支付方式
Do you not understand this is an emergency?
你不明白这是个紧急情况吗
I get making people wait for a kidney,
我明白人们需要等待肾脏移植
but this is something people can see.
但是这可是别人看的到的地方啊
The mouth is the eyes of the lower face.
嘴巴就是下半张脸的眼睛啊
Excuse me. Thank you.
打扰一下谢谢
She needs to be walked.
带她出去散散步
And keep her Instagram updated.
记得更新她的Instagram
I got the stamps!
我买♥♥到邮票啦
Unlike my ex-husband, they're forever.
不像我的前夫这些可是永久的
I can't host a gala like this.
我不能这样主持晚会啊
A New York philanthropist can be missing many things...
一个纽约慈善家可以缺少很多东西
An eye, a leg...
少只眼少条腿
A toenail if it's winter?
如果冬天的话少个脚趾甲也行
Shut up, Mimi.
闭嘴 Mimi
But not a tooth, never a tooth.
但是不能是牙啊绝对不能少颗牙
There's a dentist in my neighborhood named Senor Dentista.
我邻居有个叫"牙医先生"的牙医
He does walk-ins, and his bus ads make it
他可以上门服务而且他的公车广♥告♥
very clear that he does not snitch.
写的非常清楚他不会告密
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that.
我假装什么也没听见啊
But what I will do is show up at Dr. Weitz's office
但是我准备直接去Weitz医生的办公室
and in-charm-idate myself into an appointment.
用我的魅力去挂个号♥
But what if someone sees you?
但是人们会看到你的啊
Teeth are the boobs of the mouth.
牙齿是嘴巴的胸部啊
The Freshmaker.
清新每一天
Power off.
关机
Lillian, do you have a spare key to our apartment?
Lillian 你有我们公♥寓♥的备用钥匙吗
Why? You know our locks are just decorative.
干啥你知道我们的锁只是个摆设
I rented my apartment on AirBnB.Com,
我在空中食宿网上把公♥寓♥租出去了
not to be confused with BearDinB.Com,
可别和"孔肿食叔网"弄混了
which is awful.
那就太可怕了
I breathe like that sometimes.
有时候我会这样喘气
But also...
但是
How could you?
你怎么能这样做
What were you thinking
你怎么能把
bringing Internet people into our neighborhood?
网上的人带到我们的社区啊
I was thinking I could get $80 to buy
因为我想赚80块钱
a wonderful box of capes that I saw
然后就可以去医疗用品商店
at a medical supply store.
买♥♥那箱很酷的斗篷了
Don't you get it? They're hipsters.
你不明白吗他们就是嬉皮士啊
And that means gentrification.
也就意味着中产阶级啊
Ugh! Listen to me.
呃听我说的啥啊
I miss the old days when the longest word I knew
我怀念以前我知道的最长的单词
was friggingiuliani!
是"该死的朱利安尼"
They're not hipsters.
他们不是嬉皮士
They're just two hayseeds from Texas whose bodies
他们只是两个从德克萨斯来的乡巴佬
will wash up in the East River in a couple of weeks...
几周以后尸体会被冲上东河岸边
Crabs eating their eyes,
被螃蟹吃掉了他们的眼睛
their genitalia stuffed in their mouths.
嘴里还塞着自己的生殖器
Stop telling me what I want to hear.
别光说我想听的了
I like the neighborhood the way it is.
我就喜欢现在社区的样子
Morning, Meth-Head Charlie!
早啊毒虫Charlie
It's my TV!
这是我的电视
Well, it doesn't matter.
好吧没关系
Our guests will be here later today.
我们的客人晚会儿就到了
Now imagine that exit with a cape.
想象我穿着斗篷离开的样子吧
I have a 2:30 appointment with Dr. Weitz,
我和Weitz医生约了两点半看诊
Jacqueline White.
Jacqueline White
Ms. White, you don't have an appointment today.
White太太你今天没有预约
Well, someone made a mistake.
肯定是有人弄错了
I spoke with this horrible woman on the phone earlier.
刚才我和一个可怕的女人通过电♥话♥
That was me. I like your nails.
就是我我喜欢你的指甲
In I go. Dr. Weitz's schedule is full.
我进去了哈 Weitz的预约已经满了
Look, I know Dr. Weitz personally.
听着我和Weitz医生私交很好
I saw his daughter do ballet,
我还看他女儿跳芭蕾舞呢
even though she doesn't have the body for it.
虽说她没那个身材
But my name is on the list.
但是名单上肯定有我
I left my purse inside.
我的钱包忘里面了
I used to live here.
我以前住在这儿
Do you have any idea how much money I donate to this opera?
你知道我给这部歌♥剧捐了多少钱吗
Oh, hello, dear! I think...
你好啊亲爱的我觉得
Well, I hope you're proud of yourself.
我希望你为你自己骄傲
Shh! Christmas mat, no!
嘘圣诞垫子别唱
You're hilarious, but please, cease your magic!
你是很搞笑但是求你先收起你的魔法吧
You're off your shelf, elf.
你又离开你的岗位了精灵
Terry, I know I'm late, but my friend
Terry 我知道我迟到了但是我的朋友
is having a tooth emergency.
出了个牙齿紧急事故
Friend? Look around you.
朋友看看你周围
This is not the kind of business for people who have friends.
这可不是适合有朋友的人工作的地方
Kimmy, you're done here. Clean out your stocking.
Kimmy 你可以走了去收拾你的东西
What?
什么
No, sir, I need this job.
不要啊先生我需要这个工作
I love working here.
我喜欢在这里工作
It's Christmas every day.
这里天天都是圣诞节
You can't fire me on Christmas.
你不能在圣诞节的时候炒掉我啊
I'm gonna need your jingle bells back.
请把你的铃铛交出来
I lost them.
我弄丢了
Good news, K-PAX.
好消息 K星异客
I rented the apartment on tubes.
我在网上把公♥寓♥租出去了
I left a key under the mat, and now we just
我在地垫下面留了钥匙
let the cape money roll in while we sleep at the library.
现在我们去图书馆睡觉等着我的斗篷基金滚滚而来吧
By the way, we're sleeping at the library.
顺便说一下我们得去图书馆睡觉
Well, I'm glad you're making money.
我很高兴你在赚钱
I just got fired.
我刚被炒了
And before you say anything, it's not Ms. White's fault.
先说明一下不是White太太的错
I should be able to help my friends and have a job.
我应该有能力既帮助朋友又能工作的
That's a cakewalk compared to what Santa does.
跟圣诞老人的工作比起来简直太简单了
Delivering presents all over the world in one night?
他都能一晚上跑遍全世界送礼物
Wait.
等等
You think Santa... You know what?
你以为圣诞老人算了
Now's not the time.
不是说这个的时候
Look, maybe Ms. White takes me for granted sometimes.
也许White太太确实有时候把我帮她视作理所当然