我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E12

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

bourbon, burgers, busboys, comma, getting high with.
就喝着波本吃着汉堡和餐馆打杂的抽着大♥麻♥嗨起来了
So it starts at lunch.
这么说中午就开始了
What time does she... Oh, boo!
她是什么时候啊少来
You're not trolling for Polish D at all!
你根本不是想来钓汉子
You just want to figure out why I start drinking
你是想弄清楚我为什么开始喝酒
so you can try to get me to stop.
然后你就可以阻止我
No, I'm here to party.
不是我是来狂欢的啊
Watch this.
看着啊
"Hello, is hot dog there?"
"你好热狗在吗"
That kind of thing. Yow!
看我多会玩啊哟
You think people haven't tried this before?
你以为以前没人试过吗
I can't be stopped.
没人能阻止我喝酒的
One time, to get white wine,
有一次我为了混酒喝
I listened to B.J. Novak do a book reading.
去听了B.J. Novak读书
Can't be stopped?
阻止不了吗
You don't know who you're dealing with.
那是你不知道我的厉害
Whom. And it's already too late.
是吗已经太晚了
I'm sending you back to the night.
我要把你这个醉鬼送回黑夜去
It's not gonna work.
没用的
She can't get through one day without drinking.
她一天不喝酒都不行
We'll see about that.
走着瞧吧
Yeah, breaking stuff.
砸东西啦
That's you guys, right?
是你们干的对吧
Just when I thought my audition couldn't get any worse,
我以为我的试镜已经够糟的了
I run into Norman Gordon.
结果又碰见了Norman Gordon
Who's Norman Gordon?
Norman Gordon是谁
The ghost of Titus Future.
以后的我
I've seen that sad old man at every audition I've ever been to.
我每次试镜都能碰到那个悲催的老头
And the only speaking role he ever got was Corpse Emitting Gases
他唯一一次发出声音的角色是在<法律与秩序>
ON LAW & ORDER: Drifter Incineration Squad.
"流浪汉焚烧队"那集里扮演胀气的尸体
That's the one where Liev Schreiber plays twins, right?
是不是Liev Schreiber演双胞胎那集
He's been acting for 50 years,
他都演了50年了
and he's got nothing to show for it.
但是一个拿得出手的角色都没有
Is that gonna be me?
我会不会也是那样呢
Why should I keep humiliating myself at auditions
我明明可以在家喂你喝汤
for parts like Off-Camera Loser and Urban Farter
为什么要去参加什么"银幕外的屌♥丝"
when I'd rather be at home feeding you soup?
或者"都市屁王"这种试镜给自己找不自在啊
I do like how you do spoon airplane.
我是很喜欢你喂我喝汤
You don't dumb it down.
可别小看哄人喝汤啊
Look, if you're unhappy, maybe you don't have to work.
如果你做得不开心那就不用非得去工作
I make good money.
我赚的也不少
Yesterday I got time and a half
昨天我赚了一倍半的加班费
for being sick during Monday Night Football.
因为在周一足球夜的时候病了
And my lease is up
而且这个月底
at the end of the month, so...
我的房♥租就到期了
maybe I move in with you.
也许我可以搬来和你住
Wow.
哇哦
That's a big step, and you know how I feel about steps.
这是很大的一步进展你知道我对进展的感觉
I do. You're against them.
我知道你不喜欢进展
But what do you say?
不过你觉得怎么样
Andromedon Productions.
Andromedon制片公♥司♥
You can't spell our name without "Drama" If you spell it wrong.
戏剧界少了我们就不叫戏剧了
How may I direct your call?
请问您找哪位
This is Kurt Liebestod.
我是Kurt Liebestod
I'm calling from the Medical Examiner's Office.
我是法医办公室的
Please hold.
请稍等
You're on with Titus.
我是Titus
Mr. Andromedon, do you know a corpse named Norman Gordon?
Andromedon 你认识一具尸体叫Norman Gordon吗
Come on, Kurt. Don't lead with "Corpse."
不要啊 Kurt 别开口就说"尸体"
Wait, what are you saying?
等等你说什么
Is Norman dead?
Norman死了
He passed away earlier today
今天早些时候
during a Level One improv class.
他在上初级即兴表演课的时候去世了
We haven't been able to locate any next of kin,
我们联♥系♥不到他的亲属
but your phone number was in his personal effects.
但是你的电♥话♥在他的随身物品里
If you'd like to pay your respects,
如果你想表示一下哀悼的话
we'll be throwing him in the East River this afternoon.
今天下午我们会把他扔到东河里
What happened?
怎么了
You okay?
你还好吗
Let's move in together.
我们同居吧
Uh-uh.
恩恩
No, Verizon cannot turn
不 Verizon电♥信♥公♥司♥不会把
homeless people into walking cell phone towers.
流浪汉变成移♥动♥信♥号♥♥塔的
Russ, hang up.
Russ 挂了吧
It's such a beautiful day, and the view is amazing.
多美好的一天啊景色多美啊
Ow!
啊
That really hurt.
疼死了
Yeah, listen, pal, the next call I make
好了听着朋友下一次
is gonna be to my good friend Tom Wheeler,
我就直接打给我的老友Tom Wheeler了
the chairman of the FCC.
美国联邦通讯委员会的主席
Uh, well, we take swimming lessons together,
我们一起上的游泳课
so just try... Hello?
你就等着吧还在吗
Did they just shut my service off?
他们是不是把我停机了
Sons of bitches!
该死的
My 'Berry!
我的莓莓啊
Well, now that it's just the two of us,
现在就剩我们两个了
maybe we can go rent a rowboat.
我们可以去租条小船
You think I'm ready for rowboats?
你觉得我敢划船吗
Tom Wheeler and I still use floaties.
Tom Wheeler和我还得用救生圈呢
I got to get to the hotel.
我得回酒店了
Off to lunch, are we?
准备好去午餐了吗
They say it's the third most important meal of the day.
都说这是一天中第三重要的饭呢
Kimmy, what are you doing here?
Kimmy 你来干什么
Good, you don't remember.
很好你不记得了
I'm here to stop you from drinking today.
我来是防止你今天喝酒的
Kimmy, I am not going to...
Kimmy 我不会
Sneak attack! What?
偷袭什么啊
How are you so strong?
你怎么这么壮
Oh, right, the bunker, the crank,
哦对了地堡里整天转轮轴
being a chair, fighting off a reverend
当过椅子还得和吸毒以后
who's practicing cocaine-fueled karate on you.
把你当沙包的牧师做斗争
We are going to stay up here until the sun goes down.
我们要一直坐在这里直到太阳落山
If you don't drink today, she loses,
只要你今天不喝酒她就输了
and that means you don't have to go on a bender.
也就是说你不用去醉生梦死了
It's not like when you say "Bloody Mary" Three times
这又不是像血腥玛丽你说三遍她的名字
and she has to appear.
她就会出现
Why would you say "Bloody Mary" To an alcoholic?
你干嘛要对一个酒鬼提"血腥玛丽"啊
Andrea, stop, that's twice!
Andrea 停下已经两遍了
Oh, this is just making me want to drink more.
这简直让我更想喝酒了
I get it.
我明白
You use alcohol to make the bad stuff go away,
你是想借酒消愁
but you don't need alcohol to do that.
但是你不一定要借助酒精啊
For 15 years, I did it
15年来我一直
just by keeping my brain too busy to think.
靠着让自己的大脑别闲着来忘掉烦心事
Among the techniques I used:
其中一招
staring contest!
对视比赛
I win.
我赢了
I win.
我赢了
I win. I win.
我赢了我赢了
Wow, you're bad at this!
哇哦你真是太逊了
Bloody Mary. Ah, no!
血腥玛丽啊不
I win.
我赢了
Go. I win.
开始我赢了
I win.
我赢了
I can't run any farther.
我实在跑不动了
I have a third nipple.
我有三个乳♥头♥
It's on the bottom of my right foot,
第三个长在右脚底
and it's killing me.
要我老命啊
All right, let me use your phone.
好吧让我用用你的电♥话♥
Russ, you can't worry
Russ 你不能总是