我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E13

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:59 p.m.

For her birthday, I bought
她过生日的时候我给她买♥♥了
her a master's of interior design from DePaul.
德保罗大学的设计师硕士学位
She knows all the colors now. Mm.
现在她什么颜色都认识了嗯
Can you believe she's had four kids?
你能相信她已经生了四个孩子吗
Honey, show Jacqueline the back.
亲爱的让Jacqueline看看你背后
There you go.
看吧
Want to bounce a quarter off that?
是不是很想弹个硬币上去
A quarter? What's a quarter?
硬币硬币是啥
Right answer.
答得好
I like you.
我喜欢你
Hey, sorry I'm late.
嘿抱歉我迟到了
I-I had a pumpkin pie, but I sat on it on the subway,
我买♥♥了个南瓜派但是在地铁上不小心坐上面了
and the only store I could find open was a Talbots, so...
唯一找到还开门的只有Talbots店了所以
Hey, Duke... Oh!
嘿 Duke 噢
What are you doing, Russ?
你干什么呢 Russ
Why are you staring at the walls?
你看着墙干什么啊
Say hi to Jacqueline.
和Jacqueline打招呼啊
Ha-ha, that's funny. Hi, Jacqueline.
哈哈真好笑哈你好 Jacqueline
Duke, has Jacqueline met Russ' last girlfriend?
Duke Jacqueline见过Russ的前女友吗
Pleased to meet you.
很高兴认识你
I'm Handgela.
我是"五指珊"
How do you do?
你好吗
This one's a keeper, Russ.
这位很不错啊 Russ
Go easy on him, boys. He can't help it.
别难为他了孩子们他也不是故意的
His name is Russ.
毕竟他的名字叫Russ(有鸡鸡很大的含义)
You named me that.
你给我起的名字
Oh, Russ had to be named by his daddy.
难道是爸爸给你起了这名字你才这样的嘛
Jacqueline, you are a pretty girl.
Jacqueline 你真是个尤物
Him and you have a kid,
你和他生个孩子吧
your genes might water all that down.
改改我们家的基因
Oh, Mr. Snyder...
噢 Snyder先生
Oh, please, call me Orson.
别客气叫我Orson
Well, Orson,
好吧 Orson
I would love to water that down,
我很想帮你们改基因
if he'll have me.
如果他愿意的话
He should be so lucky.
他应该感到幸运才对
I once caught him kissing a bird.
有一次我看到他在亲一只鸟
Yeah. He said it was CPR.
是啊他说是在做人工呼吸
Then why the tongue?
那为什么舌头都用上了
Welcome to Titusville,
欢迎来到Titus小镇
home of the Kennedy Space Center.
肯尼迪航♥天♥中心本部
In 1962, John F. Kennedy was inspired to go to the moon
在1962年 John F. Kennedy在和一位特别丰满的
while feeling up a particularly buxom coat-check girl.
衣帽间女服务生亲热的时候得到了登月的灵感
Uh-huh, anyway, I was sent here by fate.
嗯嗯总之是命运指引我来这里的
See, my name is Titus.
我的名字就叫Titus
Oh, how cute.
好可爱
Obviously, I had to come and see my town.
显然我得过来看看我的小镇啊
What is there to do here?
这里是做什么的呢
Titus-friendly attractions, I assume?
特别吸引叫Titus的吗
Interactive couch museum,
互动式沙发博物馆
a "Shirts required" Swimming pool?
需要"穿衣服"的泳池吗
Food? Sure, we have restaurants.
食物没错我们有饭店
But Titusville is best
但是我们最著名的是
known as being home of the U.S. Space program.
作为美国航♥天♥中心项目的本部
Okay, I like space.
好吧我喜欢太空
Ever since I was a child, I was always fascinated
我从小时候开始就很喜欢看
by Major Tony Nelson's failed space flight:
Tony Nelson少校那次失败的航♥天♥之旅
his capsule crash-landing on a desert island,
他的航♥天♥舱坠落在一座荒岛上
knocking over a genie bottle, releasing Barbara Eden.
打翻了一个精灵瓶放出了Barbara Eden
Thank you, NASA.
感谢你美国航♥空♥局
She was his slave.
她变成了他的奴隶
Oh, well.
噢好吧
Uh, would you like to enter our raffle?
要不要参加我们的抽奖活动
Win dinner with a real astronaut?
和一位真正的宇航员晚餐
Of course astronauts live in Titusville.
宇航员当然住在Titus小镇了
I bet this town is full of heroes.
我敢说这个小镇肯定全是英雄人物
Well, our founder, Colonel Henry Titus,
这个嘛我们的创始人 Henry Titus上校
would have been a Civil War hero if the right side had won.
要不是他站错了队本来是可以成为内战英雄的
I'll allow it.
那就算是吧
Good luck.
祝你好运
Hey, uh...
嘿呃
Uh, oh!
呃噢
My neighborhood is ruined.
这社区算是毁了
And it's my fault.
都是我的错
I did it.
我毁了它
Just like O.J. Simpson...
就像O.J. Simpson
against the Dolphins in '69.
在69年和海豚队的比赛
Twelve yards on ten carries?
10次冲球才12码
Well, unforgivable.
不可原谅啊
Titus, I did it. I found her.
Titus 我做到了我找到她了
I'm so happy for you, Baked Kimberlay's.
真为你开心啊小Kimmy
Did you tell her everything you wanted to say?
你跟她说了你想说的话了吗
Did you throw white wine on her?
有没有用白葡萄酒泼她
I didn't have to.
用不着啊
She apologized right away.
她立刻就给我道歉了
She even cried. Wait.
她都哭了等等
What do you mean "Right away"?
你说"立刻"是什么意思
She didn't let you say anything?
她没给你机会说话吗
Um, I said, "Lori-Ann Schmidt!"
呃我说了"Lori-Ann Schmidt"
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼
And when you went to confront her,
那你想质问她的时候
did she keep a random friend there as a buffer?
她是不是随便拉个朋友做掩护啊
You mean Joe? I don't even think he was listening.
你是说Joe吗我觉得他根本就没听我们说话
His head was, like, all the way the other way.
他的头好像颠来倒去
Oh, Lori-Ann's good.
Lori-Ann挺厉害
I did not realize she was a Get-A-Header.
没想到她会先发制人呢
What does that even mean?
什么意思啊
"Get-A-Heading"... trademark my ex-friend Timothy...
"先发制人" 是我前男友Timothy的拿手好戏
It's when you take control of a situation
就是在抢在别人面前
by saying negative things before anyone else can,
先说点负面的话来控制大局
like when Madonna said "Dangerous Game" Was terrible
比如麦当娜在媒体批评前就自己先说
before the critics could
电影<危险游戏>很糟糕
or how I'm telling you right now
比如现在我先告诉你
I didn't go to Miami.
我没去迈阿密
I'm in a town called Titusville, and I love it here.
我现在在一个叫Titus小镇的地方我很喜欢这里
Wait, what?
等等什么
You don't "Wait, what" Me. I "Wait, what" You.
你还好意思问我应该是我问你
If you haven't told your mother how you feel
如果你都没告诉你妈妈你真实的感受
but you think you two are all good, you are lying to yourself.
就觉得你俩已经没事了那你就是在自己骗自己
Oh, I'm lying to myself?
哦我在欺骗自己
You're supposed to be in Miami.
你应该在迈阿密才对
Jeez, Titus, I thought we were past this,
天呐Titus 我以为我们已经过了这关了
but you're just hiding from the real world again.
但是你又在逃避现实
Or maybe I found where I belong.
或者我找到了我的归宿
There's a space museum here.
这里有太空博物馆
Since when do you care about space?
你什么时候开始喜欢外太空了
Weightlessness, non-melting ice cream,
零重力不会化的冰激凌
buff scientists.
身材健壮的科学家
I think the burden's on you to prove
倒是你该好好证明一下
that I haven't cared about space this entire time.
外太空不是我的菜
I know you're afraid Mikey won't be there when you get back.
我知道你担心Mikey不会等你
You're afraid of failure.
你害怕失败
Also success, birds, escalators...
还有成功小鸟电梯
We Titusvillians are afraid of nothing,
我们Titus镇人什么都不怕
not the moon, not the Union Army,
不怕月球不怕联邦军
not this sinkhole that keeps...
也不怕脚下这个大水坑
Whatever.
随你怎么说
All I know is, I got what I came here for.
我只知道我的目的达到了
She apologized.
她道歉了
Hello?
在吗