我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E09

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

You know who doesn't sleep?
你知道哪种人睡不着吗
Depressed people.
抑郁的人
Well, you know who else doesn't sleep a lot?
你知道还有谁不怎么睡觉吗
Dolphins.
海豚
And they're always smiling.
而且它们总是微笑
Dolphins are rapists. Look it up.
海豚是强♥奸♥犯查查去吧
That's not why they're smiling, is it?
它们不是因为这个才微笑的吧
And don't even get me started on that peristalsis of yours.
还有啊更别提你的肠胃蠕动情况了
The stanky burps, girlfren!
就是你臭气熏天的打嗝啊朋友
All burps smell bad.
所有的嗝都不好闻啊
They're the farts of the face.
它们就是脸在放屁啊
No, you're Dursting.
不对你就跟Durst似的
Did you ever see The Jinx?
你看过纪录片<厄运>吗
Fred Durst.
Fred Durst
He did those burps.
他就这样打嗝
You got some bad stuff inside,
你心里积累一些不好的东西
and your body is trying to blast it out
你的身体想通过你的嘴巴
through your face's mouth.
把它释放出去
Who shoved me?
谁推我了
Okay.
好吧
Ooh, see?
噢看到没
This is what healthy burps smell like.
健康的嗝闻起来应该是这样
Olives, cashews, P. Diddy vodka.
橄榄腰果吹牛老爹伏特加
Is this where you live?
你是住这里吗
No, this is my office.
不是这是我的办公室
I have a eight a.m., so I'm just gonna sleep here.
我早上八点有预约我直接睡这算了
The couch pulls out, so...
沙发可以拔♥出♥来♥
I can't get pregnant.
所以我不会被搞大肚子的
Help me!
帮帮我
Stop struggling.
别挣扎了
You like this, lesbo?
你喜欢这样吗女同志
I should charge you for all this free therapy...
给你做这么多心理疏导我应该收你钱
Serapy.
心(性)理疏导
What do you mean "Therapy"?
你什么意思
Wait, you're a psychiatrist?
等等你是心理医生
Yeah, and I'm good.
是啊而且我很厉害
I got one of these little noise machines and everything.
我还有个这种小噪音机器
It goes "Shh"
会发出"嘘"的声音
so you can't hear other peeps' crying.
这样你就听不到别人在哭了
So where to you go to serapy?
那你是看哪个心理医生
Who, me?
谁我吗
I don't need therapy.
我不需要看心理医生
Yeah, you do.
你当然需要
Okay, well, I think I've gone above and beyond
好了我觉得我已经做的远远超过
the Uber oath that I made up.
优步司机的职责了
Listen, I'm telling you this because I love you.
听着因为爱你我才告诉你的
If you don't deal with whatever you're repressing,
如果你不正视你压抑的原因
one day, your body's gonna take over
总有一天你的身体会不受控制
and do something rough.
做出疯狂的事的
You'll find yourself wandering along a highway
你会发现自己在高速上游荡
or eating at a Boston Market.
或者在波士顿烤鸡店吃饭
No.
不
I am in control of my own body.
我的身体我做主
Always.
永远都是
Why won't you open?
你为什么不打开
Oh, oh, my spine, my spine.
噢我的脊椎我的脊椎
I'm gonna rip your beard off.
我要把你的胡子拽下来
Ugh, why does this keep happening?
呃为什么总发生这种事
Miss, for a dollar,
小姐回答问题得一块钱
is Cate Blanchett good, or is she just tall?
凯特布兰切特是真的很好还是只是很高
Ow! Too loud!
啊吵死了
What? What are you?
什么你是什么东西
No, she's a treasure!
不她很棒
She's a treasure!
她很棒
Uppy.
拉我起来
I'm just saying,
我只是说
when you shove your problems down,
你越压抑你的问题
they're gonna bust out in weird ways.
它们反而会用奇怪的方式表现出来
Whatever, Andrea.
管你怎么说 Andrea
I don't need to be shrunk like some Rick Moranis kid.
我可不像Rick Moranis电影里的孩子被缩小了(谐音心理医生)
I'm blowing up like a Rick Moranis baby!
我要像Rick Moranis那个宝宝一样变大
I've dealt with my stuff.
我自己的问题自己处理
It's all in the rearview mirror.
一切都在后视镜里
This guy knows what I'm talking about!
她明白我的意思
The bunker and the Reverend
地堡和牧师
and having to chew my own haircuts,
还有自己咬头发造型
that's all ancient history,
都是老黄历了
like George Washington or Bradifer.
就像乔治华盛顿和Bradifer
Oh, but Andrea's so smart.
不过Andrea好聪明啊
I'm repressing stuff.
我在压抑问题
To quote Titus, "You don't know me, girl.
引用Titus的话 "你不了解我女人
I'm a grown-ass man.
我是个大人了
Now slide my pizza under the bathroom door!"
把披萨从浴室门下面给我塞进来"
'Cause guess what, Andrea.
因为什么呢 Andrea
I'm doing great.
我处理的很好
Thanks for riding the Cyclone.
感谢乘坐"龙♥卷♥风♥"
Exit to your right.
出口在你的右边
Where am I?
我在哪儿
Did I just ride a fudging roller coaster?
我刚才坐了过山车吗
Yeah, all by yourself.
是啊你自己坐的
I didn't do anything.
我什么也没做啊
Coney Island?
康尼岛游乐园
Jeepers, Terry, and Broseph.
我滴个老天妈啊
This is bad.
太糟糕了
Okay, not so bad.
好了还不错
It's still made better than any Frank Lloyd Wright house,
比Frank Lloyd Wright设计的还好呢
# FrankLloydWrong.
Frank Lloyd衰
Je said it.
我说的
Welcome to your new home,
欢迎入驻新家
R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" Cassingle.
R. Kelly的"I Believe I Can Fly"单曲带
But I measured so carefully with a Fruit by the Foot!
我仔细用水果糖卷量过了啊
No wonder Jesus quit carpentry.
怪不得耶稣不做木工了
It's so much harder than talking on a donkey.
比骑驴布告难多了
Think thin, baby girl.
想象自己喝了瘦身茶吧亲
Heavens to Murgatroyd.
我的老天爷
What have I done?
我做了什么啊
This is bad.
太糟糕了
Well, you were right. It happened.
好吧你说对了确实发生了
And I've got the souvenir photo to prove it.
我还有纪念照片可以证明
And if I'm being honest, it's not the first time I've lost control.
如果实话实说这不是我第一次失控了
Once at a petting zoo, I slapped a goat
有一次在动物园我扇了山羊一巴掌
because it had a beard.
就因为它长了胡子
So here I am. I need help.
所以我来了我需要帮助
Therapize me.
给我做心理辅♥导♥吧
I'm sorry, who are you?
不好意思你是哪位
Are you serious?
你不是开玩笑吧
I'm Kimmy.
我是Kimmy
Last night, I took off your tights
昨天晚上我帮你脱的紧身衣
and emptied them in that trash can.
又把里面的东西倒在垃圾桶里
Oh, you.
噢你啊
Yes, I remember your shape. Kimmy.
对我记得你的样子 Kimmy
Do you know how I got rug burns on my hands and knees?
你知不知道为啥我的手和膝盖怎么这么疼
Um...
呃
I'm just trying to put you to bed.
我只是想扶你上♥床♥睡觉
No! Me baby!
不我是小宝宝
Baby no go night-night.
宝宝不想睡觉
Wow, okay.
哇哦好吧
I apologize that you had to see that.
很抱歉让你看到那一幕
Obviously, I can't be the person to help you.
显然我是帮不了你了
What? Why?
什么为什么