我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S02E06

Part 4 Dec. 2, 2020, 2:58 p.m.

And when that day comes, I hope it's not too late
希望那一天不会来得太晚
for you to save the things you love.
你还有机会去拯救你所爱的东西
That would have been better with a cape.
有个斗篷你就更拉风了
My hair is a cape.
我的头发就是斗篷
Oh, sure, let me get the door, Your Highness.
好吧我为您开门殿下
Would you also like me to fan you with a big leaf?
要不要我拿个大叶子帮你扇风啊
Oh, that leaf isn't big enough? A thousand apologies.
噢那个叶子不够大吗太抱歉了
I'll just ask the leaf keeper for his biggest leaf
我马上去问叶子保管者要他最大的叶子
for Her Excellency.
给阁下您使用
This is worse than childbirth,
这比生孩子还疼
and Buckley initially tried to Alien his way out of me.
Buckley一开始可是想破腹而出啊
Doctor Dentista? What's going on?
牙医医生吗怎么了
No, no, no, no. It's Senor Dentista.
不不不不是"牙医先生"
I am not a doctor.
我不是医生
And this is me going out of business.
现在我停业了
No! Ah, you speak Spanish.
不啊你会说西班牙语
Si, the rent in this neighborhood is out of control.
这里的房♥租涨的太厉害了
Twenty years ago, I won some dental equipment in a poker game.
二十年前我在牌局上赢了一些牙医设备
And now there's only one thing left to do.
现在只剩下一件事要做了
It's over!
结束了
Let go, Dante.
放弃(气)吧 Dante
Let go.
放弃吧
Shh.
嘘
This isn't happening.
这不是真的
This is not my life.
我的人生不是这样的
Is this the part of town where flies are made?
这里是不是城里面那群苍蝇产生的源头
You know I live here, right?
你知道我住在这里对吧
Look at me.
看着我
I can't get medical care.
我没有医保
I'm standing on a street named after a rapper, I guess.
我现在站在一条大概是用饶舌歌♥手名字命名的街上
Malcolm the Tenth was a black pope.
Malcolm X 相当于是黑人♥大♥主教啊
So that's it.
一切都完蛋了
I'm just one bad tooth away from...
我和你之间就仅存
From turning into you.
一颗坏牙的差别了
You know what, Ms. White?
你知道吗 White女士
Maybe you should turn into me.
也许你应该变得像我一样
Because I appreciate people.
因为我尊重别人
I say things like "Thank you" And "Great honking."
我会说"谢谢"以及"好棒的喇叭声"
And if you were me, you might realize
如果你是我你就会意识到
that you-me should be nice to me-me.
你这个"我"应该对我这个"我"好一点
Because you're not being a friend.
因为你并不像一个朋友
You're being a grade-A jerk brain.
你表现的像是一个超级大混♥蛋♥
Oh, so the best jerk brain.
哦那也是最好的大混♥蛋♥
For once, put yourself in someone else's shoes.
就一次你就设身处地的为别人考虑一下(穿别人的鞋)
Jesus, no!
我才不要
They look like they're from a restaurant dumpster.
你的鞋子就像从餐馆垃圾箱里翻出来的一样
They fell off a telephone wire, and I ran to them fastest.
这是从电缆绳索上掉下来的我踩着它们可是健步如飞
Baby, come here.
亲爱的快来看
It's a meth-head fighting with a prostitute.
毒虫和妓♥女♥在撕逼诶
This neighborhood is so authentic.
这片居民区真是货真价实的乱啊
Why do people always think I'm a prostitute?
为什么总有人认为我是妓♥女♥
No, I'm having a medical emer... Oh, God.
不是这样我这是紧急医疗事哦天啊
I just swallowed my nail tip.
我刚刚把我的甲片吞下去了
This is so great. It's gonna be perfect.
这真是太棒了太美好了
This is gonna be perfect.
这一切将会很完美的
My gala is in two weeks.
两周后我就要参加晚会了
I'm trying to change the world,
只是做一个好人可没有办法
and you can't do that by being nice.
让这个世界更美好
Well, maybe I'll act like you
哦那也许我应该像你一样
and only care about my own stuff.
只关心我自己就好
So if you want me to do anything for you,
所以如果你需要我为你做什么事情
like drive you home right now, you're gonna have to pay me.
比如现在开车带你回家你就需要付钱给我
Fine.
行啊
Because you're my employee.
因为你是我的雇员
And nothing more.
仅此而已
Fine by me, boss.
行就行老板
But you will be buying me a little hat.
但是你要给我买♥♥顶小帽子
**Got $80, gonna buy a box of capes*
*赚到了80刀我要买♥♥箱披风
**Can't live in the past*
*不能沉迷于过去
What the hell is a vape?
"电子烟"是什么鬼
What in the world?
世界太疯狂了
So we're not friends now.
所以我们现在不是朋友了
So she's my employee now.
她现在是我的下属
This is way better.
这最好不过了
I don't have to worry about her dumb problems
我就不用为了她那些愚蠢的问题装模作样的日常
or her fancy-pants life.
而劳心伤神了
I'm social royalty.
我属于社会名流
She grew up drinking Kool-Aid on that tractor
她不过是个坐在拖拉机上喝Kool-Aid饮料的丫头片子
that her mother wanted her to marry.
她老妈还想让她和拖拉机结婚呢
From now on, all I care about is getting paid, yo.
从现在开始我只关心我的薪水哟
Like the dad from Mary Poppins before he got them kites, son!
就像<欢乐满人间>里面的忙于工作的爸爸一样乖儿子
Just because she can pull off that hat
就因为她还能驾驭那顶帽子
and I can't because of my weird-shaped head,
但我却因为诡异的头型而无法尝试
but that's between us, me.
不过这是我自己的小秘密
I'm done with her.
我受够她了
Wait here for me, driver.
在这儿等着司机
What? No, I can't stay here.
什么不行我不能等着
And I can't circle the block without you in the car.
你不在车里的情况下只有新手许可的我是不能
I only have a learner's permit.
在这楼周围绕圈的
Well, you should've thought of that before you chose
哦那15年前你选择生活在地下的时候
to live underground for 15 years.
这一切你就应该考虑清楚
If you're a Transformer, transform and fly out of here.
车啊如果你是汽车人赶紧变形然后带我飞走吧
No, don't! I'll be crushed!
哦不能变形我会被压扁的
Did you get the address?
你知道地址吗
Are you my Uber?
你是我叫的专车吧
Are you a licensed driver over the age of 25?
你是高于25岁并且有驾照的人吗
Then I'm your Uber.
那这就是你叫的专车
Wait a second, you're not Mamadou.
等一下你不是Mamadou
This is just too good. It's everything.
这真是太好了什么都有
It's so good. It's everything.
棒呆了太好了
Oh, you going to Mabel's? Bad idea.
哦你们要去Mabel餐厅吃饭吗坏主意
They don't wash the knives in there,
他们的刀具从来不洗
so when you get stabbed, it's really bad... When.
所以要是你不小心被捅了会非常糟糕的
Babe, did you hear that? Yeah. Uhhuh.
亲爱的你听到了吗是的
People still get stabbed around here.
这里还有人会被刀捅诶
I know. I cannot believe we beat the gays to this neighborhood.
是啊真难以置信这片区域完全可以让我们赢过那帮基佬
Okay, let's go get some Polaroids.
好了让我们拍点拍立得
Yeah. Let's send them to our Design Yuko.
好的然后把照片交给Yuko设计师
Okay. Okay?
妥妥的好的
Namaste.
你好(印度语)
Everything.
完美
The Shoemidor will go right here.
鞋柜就放在这里吧
Obviously.
必须的
What the hell?
你是什么人
Do you have a rezzie?
你们有通行证吗
Vation?
口令
For what? This place is empty.
什么意思这里什么都没有
Unless there's a secret password-protected
难道说在这扇门后面有一条需要通关密语
after-hours speakeasy behind that door.
才能进去的地下酒吧吗
Egg! Shyamalan! Ojai!
蛋蛋沙马兰奥海镇
Oh, my God. Are you trying?
天哪噜你就这点水平吗
Ew.
低级
Lates, Chaz.
再见帅哥
See you at Portlandia's for Skee-Ball.
一会儿一起去波特兰迪亚玩投球
TTYL, Kainoah.
一会儿见 Kainoah
First I'm hitting that sneaker store
我要先去那家开在Key Foods超♥市♥奶制品专柜
someone opened in the dairy case at Key Foods.
旁边的球鞋店逛一逛
Another sneakertorium?
这已经有球鞋店了
But we already applied to Saint Ann's.
但是我们已经申请Saint Ann了啊
Die, hipster scum! No, no, no, Lillian!
去死吧你这个嬉皮士渣渣住手 Lillian