花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E17

Part 3 March 11, 2021, 2:39 p.m.

If you need me in the next eight hours,
如果你接下来的8小时内有事找我
I'll be staring at the ceiling.
我会一直盯着天花板醒着的
My dad just spooned me.
我老爸刚刚环抱着我
Sure.
好吧
No, I'll be here till the wedding.
不行我要在这儿一直待到婚礼开始
Then I'll just rush out -- vows, smooch, cake --
然后我就冲出去说誓词亲吻吃蛋糕
And be right back on the bucket.
然后又回来坐在桶上
That's every little girl's dream.
那是每个小女孩的梦想
Why did I think it was a good idea
我之前怎么会觉得
For us to invite our parents?
邀请我们的父母是个好主意呢
Because it's a wedding tradition.
因为那是婚礼传统
You invite your parents, and then you immediately regret it.
你先是邀请父母来然后立刻就后悔了
I just thought that just for me, just for one day,
我之前希望为了我就那么一天
It wouldn't be the Cricket show.
克丽科特能够不要一个人在那儿胡闹
Well, at least you tried.
至少你尝试了
All I do is...sigh.
而我只能默默叹息
You know what I would do?
你知道如果是我会怎么做吗
I would lock up man Francis and lady Frances in a room,
我会把你♥爸♥弗蓝西斯和你妈弗兰西斯关在一起
Blurt our their secrets, and then just run.
揭穿他们的秘密然后跑开
You would do that for me?
你愿意为我做那种事吗
Sure, if you'll get my mom to stop acting
当然了前提是你能让我妈别再表现得
Like Gary Busey in a tube top.
像是穿束胸衣的加里·布希
表演风格夸张疯狂
加里是美国著名演员
That's who she reminds me of. Thank you.
我就觉得她像谁呢谢你提醒
Frances, what are you doing?
弗兰西斯你在干什么呢
I'm cleaning the dishwasher.
我在清洗洗碗机
You know what?
你知道吗
I have a mess for you to clean up in the bedroom.
我的卧室里有一堆乱糟糟的东西要你去清理
Oh, how exciting!
真令人激动
Where's the mess?
乱糟糟的东西在哪儿
The mess is your relationship with Francis.
乱糟糟的东西就是你和弗蓝西斯的关系
Aw, what's all the fuss? I just took my pants off.
搞什么呢我刚把裤子给脱了
No, no. You two need to talk.
不不你们得好好谈谈
And I'm not letting you out
你们不把各自的秘密都说清楚
Until you air your dirty laundry.
我是不会放你们出来的
Oh, damn it!
该死的
Really? Really?
不是吧不是吧你们
You'd rather escape than talk to each other?
你们宁愿逃跑也不要跟对方谈谈吗
What's there to talk about?
有什么好谈的
Everything's fine.
一切都很好啊
Oh, yeah? All right.
是吗那好吧
Well, man Francis got a secret job,
你老公弗蓝西斯找了份秘密工作
And lady Frances, she sold your house
而你老婆弗兰西斯则把房♥子给卖♥♥了
And bought a condo in Florida.
然后在弗罗里达买♥♥了一栋公♥寓♥
Boom! Now talk it out.
暴露了吧快去谈吧
Yell at each other. Whatever you got to do.
互相吼吧该怎么做就怎么做吧
So.
没事了
Well, better get to it.
我得赶紧去忙活了
That dishwasher won't clean itself.
那台洗碗机可不会把自己清洗干净哦
Yes, it will.
会的它会洗干净的
The dishwasher cleans itself every time it cleans the dishes.
洗碗机每次洗碗时也是在清洗自身
I read online that once you start shaving,
我在网上看到说一旦开始刮胡子
It starts growing back like crazy.
胡须就会疯狂地长个不停
Shave today, beard tomorrow.
今天刮一次明天大胡子
My skin feels like it's alive!
我的皮肤简直像是有生命一样
We are studs.
我们是种马
Hey, it's just squirting.
嘿竟然喷出来了呢
You smell awesome,
你身上的味道棒极了
Like that cab driver we had in vegas.
跟我们在维加斯遇到的那个出租车司机气味一样
Hey, guys, have you seen Cricket?
孩儿们你们见到克丽科特了吗
Good god.
老天爷啊
What is that smell?
什么气味啊
Drink it in, daddy.
好好享受吧老爸
It's the smell of your boys becoming men.
那是你的孩子们变身为男人的气味
As you were.
你们继续吧
Cricket?
克丽科特
Cricket, will you get off the roof?
克丽科特你能从屋顶上下来吗
Cricket, you're gonna get hurt,
克丽科特你会受伤的
And I w-wouldn't put it past you to sue me.
我觉得你到时候要告我也是有可能的
No. I'm relaxing.
不我在放松
I have a prescription for it.
我的处方中就有这么一种疗法
Yeah, what's your condition -- terminal immaturity?
是吗你是什么病情极端不成熟吗
Okay, you know what?
好了行吧
Will you just please come down?
你能下来吗
Come down. Oh, no! Not the pool skimmer!
下来别啊捞杂物的网可不够长
I guess you're too short, red. Get down!
你那个太短了红发男下来
Yeah, well, joke's on you
好吧被耍的人是你
'cause I bought the extendable one.
因为我买♥♥的是可以扩展长度的
Okay, now get down!
好了下来吧
What the hell is going on out here?
你们在闹什么呢
I wanted to talk to your mother
我想跟你妈谈谈
About the need to act like a grown-up,
让她表现得像个成熟的大人
But first I have to get her off the roof.
但首先我得把她弄下来
Okay, you know what, honey?
好了亲爱的
I got this. I got it.
我来处理我来处理
What is the deal?
到底是怎么了
I see your life --
我看到你的生活
The white picket fence, the lawyer husband,
白色的栅栏做律师的丈夫
All that shrimp.
那么多虾
I mean, it's just so nice...
真的是太美好了
And, like...normal.
而且很正常
You must have really hated growing up with me.
你一定很讨厌在我身边长大的日子
Mom, I don't know what you're seeing,
妈我不知道你在说什么
But there is nothing normal about this.
但我这样的生活根本谈不上正常
One night, I got up to pee, and I found Jackie in our bathtub.
有天晚上我起床尿尿发现杰姬睡在我的浴缸里
So...
所以
You're not mad that I pulled you out of the fourth grade
你一点都不气我当年跟你老师分手之后
And moved us to Hawaii when I broke up with your teacher?
让你从四年级退学然后搬去了夏威夷
No! No.
不不气
So, I'm not great at fractions.
我确实不擅长分数那个章节
But if it weren't for my... unique childhood,
但如果没有我独特的童年岁月
I wouldn't have this unique life that I love.
我也不会有现在这样独特的生活
Just promise me no strippers at the wedding.
向我保证婚礼上不要再请脱衣舞男了
Of course not. Okay.
当然不会有了好的
Just toss me your phone, and I'll cancel them.
把手♥机♥扔给我我来取消掉
Come on. Oh, my god.
快点老天啊
Yeah, you, uh -- you see the stubble?
你你看到胡茬了吗
No, just scabs.
没有只看到伤疤
Hey, how'd it go?
谈得怎么样
Surprisingly well.
出人意料得好
Yeah, so -- oh!
所以那个...
Oh, my god, what are you guys carrying?
天啊你们都买♥♥了些什么啊
Your wedding.
你的婚礼
What? Yeah.
什么没错
I had no idea you were doing all of this.
我都不知道你们帮了这么大忙呢
You're amazing!
你们真是太赞了
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
谢谢谢谢谢谢
I thought you were just coming to be polite,
我以为你们只是略表客气过来一下
But for you to do all this...
但你们做了这么多事
You really want to be there.
你们是真心想参加我的婚礼
I-I-I'm so glad. Really.
我真的好开心真的
I mean, this wedding would not be the same without you there.
如果没有你们我的婚礼一定完全变了味
See? I told you so, Jackie.
瞧吧我就说了吧杰姬
I have some bad news.
我有坏消息要说
Oh, of course. It's been 20 minutes.
当然了都过了20分钟了
Great aunt Margaret is dead.
你姑奶奶玛格丽特去世了
No!
不要啊
Her funeral's on Saturday, so...
她的葬礼定在了周六所以...
The wedding is off.
婚礼得取消了
Well, Kate, we could --
凯特我们可以...