花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E11

Part 1 March 11, 2021, 2:38 p.m.

And many more
更多的欢乐
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢谢谢你们
And now my birthday is over.
现在我的生日结束了
Even though your birthday is tomorrow
尽管你的生日是明天
and this tradition is weird.
你这个传统很奇怪
Early on in our relationship,
在我们刚开始交往时
I told you about all the skeletons in my closet.
我已经把我所有的秘密都告诉你了
I have been married twice, I have three children...
我结过两次婚有三个孩子
Adorable children.
可爱的孩子
...My grandfather was a horse thief, and I hate my birthday.
我祖父是个偷马贼我讨厌过生日
Nobody likes getting older.
没有人喜欢变老
No, if only it was that simple,
不要是那么简单就好了
because my birthday is...
因为我的生日是...
Cursed!
被诅咒的
This is such bull...
那简直是放狗...
...poo.
便便
I have proof.
我有证据
Something terrible always happens on my birthday.
我过生日时总有坏事发生
When I was 7, I broke my arm.
我7岁时胳膊骨折了
When I was 24,
24岁时
I sold all my Apple shares
卖♥♥掉了所有苹果公♥司♥的股份
so I could buy a Bowflex.
买♥♥了个家用健身器
Go ahead. Pick a number, any number.
你尽管挑个数字任何数
36.
36岁
Mugged on an airport Super Shuttle.
在机场穿梭巴士上被劫了
8. Fell off a cruise ship.
8岁从游艇上掉下来了
Uh, 92.
92岁
Okay, you clearly do not understand this game.
你显然没弄懂这个游戏的规则
Trust me, something always goes wrong.
相信我总有坏事发生
That's why now we celebrate the night before.
所以我们现在要提前一天庆祝
A little cake, a little singing -- done.
吃点蛋糕唱首生日歌♥ 就行了
17.
17岁
Couldn't tell you. I was in a coma.
没法告诉你我当时陷入昏迷了
Oh, hey!
早上好
Before you go, I just wanted to wish you
在你离开前我只是想祝你
a very, very happy... Tuesday.
有个非常非常快乐的周二
You get it, and I love you for that.
你真懂事我就爱你这一点
Bye.
再见
Okay, he's gone. You got the goods?
好了他走了东西带来了吗
Yeah.
带来了
And I got Pete's birthday gift.
我还给皮特带了生日礼物
I got him some stuff to ease the transition
我给他买♥♥了些能帮助他
into his golden years -- some adult diapers,
顺利过渡到老年的东西成人尿布
some denture cream and Metamucil.
假牙护理油还有美达施营养品
Meg, he's 50, not 70, okay?
麦格他50岁而已不是70
Take it away.
拿走
Oh, actually, we can use this non-slip shower mat.
其实我们能用得上这个浴室防滑垫
See?
没错吧
Oh! Thanks for this.
多谢了
What's with all the cloak and dagger?
你为什么搞得这么神秘
Um, Pete thinks his birthday is cursed
皮特认为他的生日被诅咒了
and won't let me do anything nice,
不让我为他搞任何庆生活动
so it has to be a surprise.
所以我只能给他个惊喜
Well, go easy on the surprise,
别搞太大的惊喜
you know, for his -- for his ticker.
小心他的心脏承受不了
Meg, stop it.
麦格别这样
50 is the new 40
现在50岁相当于40岁
and 40 is the new 30
40岁相当于30岁
and I'm 30 so basically we're both 30.
而我刚好30岁所以我们其实一样大
I have an awesome day planned for us
我为我们计划了超棒的一天
full of fun, young, sexy stuff.
充满乐趣青春又性感的活动
Wow. Okay.
哇好吧
Somebody's defensive.
说说而已干嘛这么敏感
I will just do my grocery shopping and say my goodbyes.
我逛一下超♥市♥就走了
Fine.
好吧
We're young and cool, Meg.
我们很酷很年轻的麦格
Yep.
是的
Oh, you're almost out of eggs.
你快没有鸡蛋了
You're out of eggs.
你没有鸡蛋了
How are you feeling today?
你今天感觉怎么样
Why? Are you a doctor?
为什么这么问你是医生吗
No. But I've seen every episode of "House."
不是但每一集《豪斯医生》我都看过
Our social security numbers are three digits apart.
我们的社保号♥码只差三个数
Everyone, eyes up here.
各位抬头
Disregard everything that this woman has said to
请不要理会那个女人对你们说的话
or prescribed for you.
或开的药方
Jackie, come with me.
杰姬跟我来
Okay. Twist my arm.
好你来抓我啊[扭断胳膊]
And then set it back.
再把它接回去
It's just a little bit of orthopedic-surgeon humor.
这是骨科医生的幽默
Jackie...
杰姬
All right, let's make this quick.
好了我们尽快说完
I'm double parked behind an ambulance.
我把车违规停在一辆救护车后面了
How much do I owe you for the kids' gift to Peter?
孩子们给皮特买♥♥礼物的钱我欠你多少
It was $225,
一共225美元
but since you have two kids
但考虑到有两个孩子是你的
and Bert's so little,
而且波特还那么小
you owe two-hundo and I owe $25.
你出200我出25
What did the kids pick out that was so expensive?
孩子们选了什么礼物这么贵
Wind chimes.
风铃
The kids picked out wind chimes?
孩子们选了风铃吗
Well, I mean, I had to help them.
我不得不帮他们选
They were gonna get him football tickets
他们要送他橄榄球赛门票
and I was like, "50-yard line?
我说 50码线上的位置[看台正中]
That seems pretty far back."
那也离得太远了吧
I'm not contributing to wind chimes.
我不会出钱买♥♥风铃的
These are top-of-the-line chimes, okay?
那可是极好的风铃懂吗
They're like a non-stop eargasm.
给耳朵带来永不停歇的欢愉
Return them. Sorry, D.
去退了抱歉小黛
No can do. It's too late for that.
不行已经太迟了
They're handcrafted, non-refundable.
风铃是手工制♥作♥的不能退货
Nothing is non-refundable.
没有什么是不能退的
Well -- Betsy?
贝希在吗
Yes? Have Dr. Godowsky take my 10:30.
在让戈达斯基医生10:30替我一下
I'll be back before lunch.
我午饭前回来
Betsy, I'll be with Diane.
贝希我会和黛安在一起
Breaker, breaker, Jackie out.
请注意请注意杰姬下线了
Package for Peter Harrison.
给皮特·哈里森的包裹
Oh, I'm his heir. I can sign for it.
我是他儿子我可以代签
Here. I got it.
来给我吧
Thank you.
谢谢
All right.
好
"Perishable."
易腐坏物品
I wonder what it is.
会是什么呢
Let's open it.
打开看看
I don't want it to perish. Okay.
我不想让它腐坏了好
There's a card.
有张卡片
"Dear Peter, thanks for keeping us
亲爱的皮特谢谢你把我们
"out of hot water with the EPA,
跟环保局打官司的水深火热里救出来
"but feel free to put these in hot water.
但尽管把这些扔进热水里煮吧
Ha ha."
哈哈
Lobsters!
是龙虾
I love lobsters.
我超爱吃龙虾
You can mail things from the ocean?!
大海里也可以寄东西吗
Okay, guys. We're gonna be late.
好了伙计们我们要迟到了
Lobster time after school.
放学后再吃龙虾
Let's send someone a shark!
我们给谁寄只鲨鱼吧
I don't think you can do that, buddy.
我觉得你不能那么做小弟
Mr. Harrison?
哈里森先生
There's a representative from the Department of Justice here.
有位司法部的代表来找您