花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E05

Part 3 March 11, 2021, 2:37 p.m.

Diane Buckley.
黛安·巴克利
Ladies and gentlemen, the always-eccentric mrs. Steinberg.
女士们先生们感谢向来古怪的斯坦伯格老师
Yes, thank you.
是的谢谢你
Get it together, Patty. Get it together.
振作一下帕蒂振作一下
Okay. That wasn't so bad.
好了也不算太糟糕嘛
We are here tonight for one reason --
我们今晚相聚在这里只为一件事
Joseph Brooks high school.
就是约瑟夫·布鲁克斯高中
And with your generous donations,
有了大家慷慨的捐款
we can make much needed improvements on campus,
我们可以改善学校中很多亟待改进的设施
such as a vegetable garden,
比如说菜园
more handicap ramps on campus,
也可以建设更多的轮椅用斜坡
Extra counseling to deal with the recent rash of teen pregnancies.
以及针对近期少女怀孕事件突增的咨♥询♥
You got anything?
你那边有信♥号♥♥吗
Nope. Not a thing.
没什么都没有
What are you doing?
你在干什么呢
I'm gonna jimmy the lock.
我要把锁撬开
Do you know how to jimmy?
你知道该怎么撬吗
Sure. You just --
当然只需要...
That was my driver's license.
刚刚用的是我的驾照卡
Got to get out of here.
我们必须离开这里
Why did you do that?
你干嘛要敲呢
I don't know. I got to pee.
我不知道我要撒尿
How bad?
有多急
Uh, somewhere between "Bert on a highway" Bad
大概处于"波特在高速公路上尿急"
And "Warren in a hot tub" Bad.
和"沃伦在浴缸中尿急"之间
Oh, my god.
我的天啊
Help!
救命啊
Help!
救命
All right, what about this?
好了看看这件怎么样
Uh, yeah. Sure.
那个还行吧
If you have a body like a 10-year-old boy.
如果我是10岁男孩的身材穿这件还差不多
But unlike Kate, see,
但我跟凯特不同
I have women's breasts and a butt like Beyonc?
我有着傲人的双乳碧昂斯似的翘臀
Okay. Oh, wait.
好吧等等
Who are you?!
你是什么东西啊
This is nice.
真不错啊
That's the bed spread. So?
那是床罩那又怎样
See this? This was a tablecloth once.
瞧瞧我这件之前还是块桌布呢
So much for that thanksgiving. Won't be invited back.
那次感恩节偷来的我不会再被邀请了
Hey, why doesn't she keep the sewing machine
她怎么不像个正常人那样
by the bed like a normal person?
在床边放一台缝纫机呢
I don't know.
我不知道
I need a b-12 shot.
我需要打一针维生素B12
So, this is me.
这就是我啦
And over here,
而这边呢
Well, I've left just a little bit of room for you.
我给你留下了一点小空间哦
What's that?
那是什么
Oh, I-I found some cool explosion footage
我找到了一些很酷的爆♥炸♥镜头
I wanted to add to your mom's video.
我想加进你♥妈♥的♥视频里
Why is she making a video?
她为什么要制♥作♥一段视频
To meet a man.
来约男人
Why? So she can get married.
为什么那样她就可以结婚了
Oh. Bert, hey, buddy. I'm sorry.
波特小家伙我很抱歉
You know, maybe they'll just do it.
或许他们也就一♥夜♥情♥了事
He's lucky to have a brother like me.
他有我这样的哥哥真是走运
Pete, you've been doing this for the past 10 minutes.
皮特你已经这样弄了10分钟了
It's a big school.
这所学校很大
We'll get someone's attention eventually.
我们肯定能让某人注意到的
This is ridiculous.
这太荒谬了
I should be drunk and eating snails right now.
我现在应该酩酊大醉狂吃炸蜗牛才对
Well, you can blame Diane for that.
你可以把罪责都怪到黛安身上
Oh, really? You want to blame Diane for that?
是吗你想怪罪黛安吗
Jackie had nothing to do with it.
至少跟杰姬没什么关系吧
You think this is my fault?
你觉得这是我的错吗
My fault? How is -- how is this my fault?
我的错这怎么就成我的错了
Pete, we had plans tonight
皮特我们今晚本来有安排的
and you let Diane change them.
你让黛安给破坏了
Yeah, but you -- you -- you heard that guilt trip
没错但你你也听到了
she laid on me about Warren and Hillary.
她让我对沃伦和希拉里感到愧疚
Hon, there's always something with Diane.
亲爱的黛安总是有各种理由
Something about the kids
要么就拿孩子们说事
or some fatal knee surgery,
要么就是关乎性命的膝部手术
Which, by the way, I still don't believe is a real thing.
关于那个我仍然觉得她是胡编乱造的
I've been dealing with Diane for a long time.
我已经和黛安打过很长时间的交道了
You start arguing with her about one thing,
你一旦和她就一件事争论
Pretty soon you're arguing about everything.
很快你和她就得对每件事都要争论
Better to avoid it. Believe me.
相信我最好躲着点
Oh, it's easier to avoid it? Really?
躲着点比较容易吗是吗
And it's better to be stuck in here
被困在这里更好吗
with your little electrical experiment?
你还不断在搞什么电力实验
I mean, like, "Ooh! Oh, let me try.
倒不如让我来试试吧
Here. Hello? Is it working now?"
像这样喂起作用了吗
Hello? Someone's in here.
谁呀厕所里还有人呢
Okay. What do you want me to do?
好吧你想让我怎么做
What would I like you to do?
我想让你怎么做
I would like for you to stand up to her.
我希望你能站起来反抗她
I would like for you to say no sometimes.
我希望你有时候能对她说不
I would like to not pee on a sponge and in a real toilet.
我希望能进一个真正的厕所里尿尿而不是尿在海绵上
I would like for you to get me out of here now. Fine.
我希望你现在就把我弄出去好吧
Childhood obesity --
儿童肥胖问题
Excuse me? Hello? The lights have gone out.
不好意思有人吗灯全灭了
I wish your mike would go out!
我希望你的麦克风也能停掉
Excuse me. I can hear you.
不好意思我可是能听见你说话的
I hate these fundraisers.
我真讨厌这种募捐会
You still mad at me?
你还在生我的气吗
No, I'm really happy.
没我很开心
This turned out to be a really nice time.
现在这样竟然挺愉快的呢
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell.
你是在说反话吗我分辨不出来
It's too dark in --
太黑了...
Oh. Geez.
天啊
You know, Pete.
其实皮特
I guess I was just really excited about spending
我猜我只是很开心和我的丈夫一起
some grownup time with my husband -- that's all.
度过一段属于成年人的时光仅此而已
Kate... this is my sincere face.
凯特我这副表情是很诚挚的
Nothing --
没有任何事...
Oh, my god!
我的天啊
Thank you so much!
太感谢你了
Go! Go! I have to pee! Thank you so much!
快走我得尿尿太感谢了
Yeah, we came in here to get some cups
我们是打算进来拿杯子的
And the door slammed behind us. Wrong way. It's this way.
门不小心关上了走错方向了是这边
I had to jimmy the lock. I know how to jimmy,
我不得不撬开门锁我很会撬门锁的
but the door has a design flaw,
但这门有设计缺陷
So I had to is this yours?
所以我不得不... 这是你的吗
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My license.
是是是我的驾照
Uh, you mightt want to zip up your fly.
你还是先把裤子拉链拉上吧
Oh, you know what -- my hands are full.
其实我的手都拿满了东西
Do you mi-- I got it.
你能不能帮...我自己来吧
Okay. Are you sure you can't see my hoo-ha?
好吧你确定我的那地方不会露出来吗
Okay, Jackie.
听着杰姬
You promised me that you would ignore your instincts.
你向我保证你会忽略自己的本能反应的
So, no beat-boxing?
所以不能玩口♥技♥模仿
We're just I'm not gonna okay. No.
我们只能我不能好吧不行
And in five, four, three...
倒数5 4 3
Hi. I'm jackie.
你好我是杰姬
Are you looking to share your life with someone and learn ikebana,
你期待和一个学过花道的女人共度一生吗
The japanese art of flower arrangement?
花道也就是日式的插花艺术
Or may--
或许...
Yeah! Noodle dance! Oh, yeah! Cut!
耶面条舞耶停
Hey, we're working on something here,
嘿我们正在忙正经事呢
So do you mind going on the other side of the camera?
你能退到摄像机后面去吗