花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E01

Part 2 March 11, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

Yeah, she will be there. Okay.
谁是女王? 谁是女王?
Who's the queen? Who's the queen?
你妈是女王
Your mama's the queen.
你会做得很好的
You're gonna do great.
我会做得很好
I'm gonna do great.
我不如...我直接拿着算了
Why don't I just... I'm gonna hold it.
- 嗨熟♥女♥找谁? - 闭嘴小鬼
- Hey, what's up, milf? - Shut up, toolbox.
- 嗨杰基 - 嗨梅格
- Hey, Jackie. - Hi, Meg.
凯特让我今天帮忙送伯特去乐队
Kate asked me to take Bert to orchestra today.
我知道我也想自己带你去
You know, I would do it myself,
但我今天忙疯了
but my day is nuts. Crazy. It's cuckoo.
我加入了有机食物合作社
I joined this organic food co-op
真是太棒了
that's so great.
- 买♥♥了30个南瓜才6块大洋 - 哇
- I got 30 zucchinis for six bucks. - Wow.
我也吃惊的很他们一脸坦然
I was, like, what, they were, like, yeah. I go, what?
嗨
Hey.
好了我们周一见
All right, I'll see you on Monday.
但同时把这些带身边吧
But in the meantime, take these with you.
一千个拥抱
One thousand hugs.
两千次磨鼻子
Two thousand noseys.
三千下蝴蝶吻
Three thousand butterfly kisses.
你知道要过三天才周一不?
You know Monday's in three days, right?
知道玩得愉快
Okay, have fun.
你好
Hello.
嗨斯坦伯格小姐我叫凯特·哈里森
Hi, Miss Steinberg. I'm Kate Harrison.
沃伦的继母很高兴见到你
Warren's stepmother. Lovely to meet you.
哦我的天啊你真年轻
Oh, my goodness, you're so young.
- 你都能在这当学生了 - 哦你也是
- You could be a student here. - Oh, so could you.
生活的学生你懂得
Student of life, you know.
我们都上岁数了
We're all aging.
胸针不错
Great pin.
哦谢谢夸奖
Oh, thank you.
我就呃...
I'll just, uh...
带了个笔记本
Brought a notepad.
黛安
Diane.
我不知道你也要来
I didn't think you were coming.
我当然要来沃伦是我亲儿子
Of course I was coming. Warren's my son.
- 玛格丽特你好 - 巴克利医生好
- Margaret. - Dr. Buckley.
彼得怎么没来?
Where's Peter?
他在工作所以我来了
He's working, so I'm here.
好吧我不得不推迟
Well, I had to postpone
今天下午的骨软骨移植手术
an osteochondral autograft this afternoon,
我可从来不拿工作小题大做
but you don't see me making a Federal case about of it.
呃其实那算是件大事
Well, actually, it is a Federal case,
他在做... 做啥来着
so he's making about it... What it is about.
- 我们开始吧好么? - 好的
- Let's begin, shall we? - Yes.
所以说萨克斯你擅长这个?
So, saxophone. That's your thing?
我不知道
I don't know.
我喜欢足球我喜欢太阳系
I like soccer, I like the solar system,
我还喜欢乐高积木
and I like legos.
我打算攒下零花钱去买♥♥一套乐高消防站
I'm saving up my allowance to buy a lego fire station.
要一百零六美元
Its $106.
- 你现在有多少钱了? - 八块
- How much do you have? - Eight.
祝你好运
Good luck with that.
你要带我去酒吧么?
Are you taking me to a bar?
- 我不才不进去 - 淡定
- I won't go in. - Relax.
我去去就回
I'll be out in two seconds.
我只是去领薪水
I'm just gonna pick up my paycheck.
我得在三点前到那
I have to be there by 3:00
如果我们迟到了我的独奏就泡汤了
if we're late, I don't get to solo.
凯特?
Kate?
凯特是你么?
Kate, is that you?
家长会怎么样?
How did it go?
杰基你在这搞什么鬼?
Jackie. What are you doing here?
呃就是... 照顾仓鼠呗
Um, just... hamster stuff.
什么叫一篇与众不同的文章?
What do you mean, an unusual passage?
是这样的我们最近在读希腊神话
Well, we've been reading Greek mythology.
哦是啊沃伦特别喜欢海神波塞冬
Oh, yeah, Warren is really into Poseidon, God of the sea.
嗯凯特大家都知道波塞冬是谁
Yes, Kate, everybody knows who Poseidon is.
也许你能和我们读读他究竟写了什么
Perhaps if you would just read what he wrote.
好的
Okay.
"波塞冬离开了他所生活的那片海域"
"Poseidon left the sea where he lived,
"来到了她所居住的岛屿"
"And came to the island where she lived.
"波塞冬上前亲吻她"
"Poseidon moved in to kiss her,
"'我对你来说太老了'"她说道
"'I'm too old for you,' she said,
"她的胸晃如乳白色的葡萄柚"
her breasts heaving like milky grapefruits."
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
抱歉请继续
Sorry. Please proceed.
"'年龄只不过是个数字' 波塞冬说
"'Age ain't nothin' but a number,' declared Poseidon,
"然后他用他灵巧的舌头"
"And then, with his agile tongue,
"他把她脚踝上的纹身舔得发亮"
"He licked her ankle tattoo until it glistened.
"他再也等不及了"
"He could wait no longer.
- "他巨大的三叉戟刺穿了" - 喂喂!
- His mighty trident ripped through his..." - Hello!
够了够了
That's enough. That's enough.
写这种东西还敢交上来他怎么想的
How could he have thought this was appropriate to turn in?
我和你一样震惊黛安
I'm as shocked as you are, Diane.
我们都一样震惊
We're both equally as shocked.
我太吃惊了黛安你也是对吧?
And I am dismayed. Diane, are you dismayed?
- 你脚踝上的是什么? - 什么是什么?
- What is that on your ankle? - What's what?
就是你你就是那个乳白色的葡萄柚
It's you, your milky grapefruits.
哦拜托黛安
Oh, come on, Diane.
这... 这个故事肯定和我没关系
This... this story might not be about me.
而且说实话这也不是葡萄柚
And let's be honest. These are not grapefruits.
这是桃子好么无关无系
These are peaches, at most. No complaints. Not relevant.
好吧拜托凯特再明显不过了
Okay, please, Kate, it's obvious
你就是沃伦这篇淫文的原型
that you're the subject of Warren's erotica.
当我孩子在你家的时候你一般穿什么?
When my children are at your house, what do you wear?
- 没穿啥 - 呵呵
- Nothing. - Mm-hmm.
双关：啥都没穿
不是当然我会穿睡衣
No, I wear pajamas, of course,
沃伦是个十五岁的男孩了
Warren is a 15-year-old boy.
一股春风吹过都能让他勃起
A strong gust of wind can give him an erection.
我是个医生凯特关于勃起我忘掉的
I'm a doctor, Kate. I have forgotten more about erections
都比你知道得多
than you'll ever learn.
好吧为什么我们不讨论下我们该怎么办?
Okay, why don't we discuss how we'd like to proceed?
我觉得你最好让我来处理这些事
I think it'd be best if you let me handle it from here.
当然
Of course.
很高兴见到你斯坦伯格小姐
It was lovely meeting you, Miss Steinberg.
抱歉呃抱歉
Sorry. Uh, sorry.
好吧我们捋一遍
Okay, just to review.
为了避免和伯特进行一番困难但坦诚的对话
Instead of having a difficult but honest discussion with Burt,
你决定闯入我家
you chose to break into my home,
绑♥架♥我的仓鼠换成你的死鼠
kidnap my hamster, replace with your dead hamster,
- 然后让我料理后事? - 是的没错
- and make me deal with it? - Uh, yeah. Correct.
而且由于约瑟和肉球... 别看...
And since Jose and meatball... don't look...
是双胞胎我就觉得我可以你懂得
Are twins, I just thought I'd just, you know,
而且我并没有闯入你家淡定
and I didn't break into your home. Relax.
- 我用了备用钥匙 - 我们没有备用钥匙
- I used the hide-a-key. - We don't have a hide-a-key.
- 我有 - 你竟然有备用钥匙?
- I do. - You have a hide-a-key?
别担心它只是备用的
Don't worry. It's, like, hidden.
- 交出来约瑟 - 不
- Give me Jose. - No.
- 不不给 - 约瑟过来
- No, no, no. - Jose, come here.
别让它跑了!
Don't let him get away!
好吧呃我们只是...
Okay, well, we'll just...
我们把它放回笼子里
We'll put him back in the cage,
- 然后告诉他它只是... - 自爆了?
- and you'll tell him that he just... - Exploded?
所以说我的继子是条发♥情♥的狗
So my stepson is a horn dog.
什么是喇叭狗?
What's a horn dog?
就是一种很萌的狗
It's a super-cute dog.
嗨哥们为啥你用梅格的手♥机♥给我打电♥话♥?
Hi, buddy. Why are you calling me from Meg's phone?
她把我一个人丢在车里然后去酒吧了
She left me in the car and went to a bar.