花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E02

Part 1 March 11, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

"The elephant teacher smiled at the zebra.
大象老师对斑马微笑
'of course you can come into my jungle classroom,' she said.
她说你当然可以来我的丛林教室
And that's how the zebra learned to read."
斑马就是这样学会识字的
All right. Your water's here.
好的水在这里
Mr. Bear's water is here.
熊先生的水准备好了
Your clothes are laid out for the entire week.
你一个星期穿的衣服都在外面了
No judgement -- my love is unconditional.
我不会说什么我的爱是无条件的
What do you say, little man? Should we go to sleep?
怎么说小伙子可以睡觉了吗
Can I have another foot rub?
再帮我按♥摩♥脚好吗
That's enough stalling.
别再拖延了
What's "Stalling"?
什么是拖延
Uh...how do you explain stalling?
怎么解释拖延呢
He knows what stalling is.
他知道拖延是什么意思
I forget again.
我又忘记了
Let's close our eyes and go to sleep.
闭上眼睛睡觉吧
I'm gonna count down from 10.
我倒数十下
Ooh, count down from 500.
倒数五百吧
500...
499...
498...
He's getting better. That was pretty quick.
他有进步刚刚入睡挺快的
Sweetie, he's made you his bitch.
亲爱的他把你玩得团团转
I'm pretty sure I did it to myself.
我相当肯定我是自作自受
Hey. First one to the living room gets to pick the show.
先爬到客厅的选电视节目
Stop it!
住手
No. Shh!
不安静
I think I heard something.
我听到了动静
Sucker!
真好骗
Hey! That's not fair!
嘿你这不公平
Okay, whoever eats their fruit is my favorite child.
谁吃掉水果谁就是我最喜欢的孩子
There you go, man. Uh, hey, dad.
给你爸
I have a hangnail. Can you, um...
我手上有倒刺麻烦你...
Oh, I'll get the clippers.
我去拿指甲钳
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
我来我来
I got it. Okay, on three.
我来数到三
One...two!
一二
You didn't even make it to three.
你根本没数到三
You never make it to three. I didn't make it to three.
你从不数到三我没数到三
Two's...before that.
二在三前面
Oh, hey. Whose, uh -- whose fancy headband's this?
这个漂亮的头巾是谁的
Those are mine.
是我的
Oh! Red thong -- so classy.
红色丁字裤太经典了
Dad, can you please do my necklace? Oh, I'll do it.
爸帮我戴项链好吗我来
Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.
我来吧我来吧
Dad, what's a thong?
爸丁字裤是什么
Oh, it's, uh, underwear
是一种内♥裤♥
for people who don't want panty lines.
穿上后看不出内♥裤♥痕迹的
Oh, well, why wouldn't you want panty lines?
为什么不想有内♥裤♥痕迹
'cause it's not sexy.
因为那样不性感
Whoo! Sexy time!
性感时间到
'cause you guys like to have --
因为你们喜欢...
And thus ends our morning underwear q & a.
早间内♥裤♥问答游戏结束了
Right. Yep. Of course.
是的当然了
Dad, please just sign my permission slips? Yeah.
爸麻烦帮我签同意书好
Oh, I can do it. Yes. I got it. I got it.
我来签我来就行了
You are not a parent.
你又不是我家长
When you're done with that, I-I need five bucks.
你签名后给我五块钱
For what?
做什么用
For an investment.
投资
Oh, can I wear my An investment?
我可以戴... 投资
Can I wear my shin guards to school? What are you investing in?
我可以戴护腿上学吗你投资什么
Investment stuff. Can I wear my
反正是投资我可以戴...
Anybody needs me, I'll just...
如果有人需要我我在...
Can I wear... just give me a shout.
我可以戴... 喊我一声就行
Text me. Tweet me. II actually smelled you making that up.
发短♥信♥ 发推特我觉得你在瞎编
I will. I will. Put them on. There's a fire.
我会的戴上吧着火啦
I want seven back in a week.
一周内还我七块
Look, there's an eagle!
看有只老鹰
Can I wear my shin guards to school?
我可以戴护腿去学校吗
Okay.
好吧
All right -- shower police!
好吧沐浴警♥察♥
Ma'am, you want to step inside?
女士你想进来吗
The word is, you haven't been washing your boobs very well.
听说你的咪♥咪♥洗得不太干净
No, I'm not here for shower police.
不我不是来玩沐浴警♥察♥的
Had to give it a try --
总得试一下
Miss 100% of the shots you never take.
不试就完全没戏
What's up?
什么事
Just feeling a little un-needed lately.
最近我感觉有些多余
Well, the shower police need you.
沐浴警♥察♥需要你
By the kids. I see.
孩子们觉得我多余我知道了
We're having a real conversation about real things.
我们要来场严肃的对话
What's up?
怎么了
You know, I've been living here for almost a year
我在这里已经生活了将近一年了
And I just feel like I'm...
我只是觉得
More of a roommate than a parent.
我更像是一个室友而不是母亲
Like some weird craigslist roommate
就像是分类网上的奇怪室友
that everyone politely ignores.
大家一起礼貌性回避
Oh, that's not true.
不是这样的
Hillary's rude to you sometimes.
有时候希拉里是对你没礼貌
I just feel like you just do everything
我只是觉得你什么都做了
and then there's nothing left for me to do.
没什么我可以做的
Why should you have to deal with my stuff?
你为什么要抢我的活
It's my job. I'm their dad.
那是我的工作我是他们的父亲
I'm the crap-master.
我是专门处理狗屁杂事的
But I could be assistant crap-master.
但我可以做你的得力助手
You want more crap? I'll give you more crap. Yes.
你想要更多的狗屁事吗那我给你是的
All I want is more crap.
我要更多的狗屁杂事
All right!
好的
Killer bees, huddle up. Bring it in! Bring it in!
杀人蜂队集♥合♥ 过来过来
Lot of good stuff today.
今天好东西真不少
Great spirit.
士气不错
Yeah!
好耶
You guys -- you guys love to cheer.
你们你们真喜欢欢呼
Uh, couple of things to think about --
有几件事要注意下
In general, let's -- let's make it a goal
通常来说我们的目标之一就是
to not sit down as much during a scrimmage.
在争球过程中不要太多次坐下来
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
好耶好耶
Also, uh, go to the bathroom --
另外上厕所
Very important -- before practice, okay?
非常重要在训练之前明白吗
And, Ian, if you do need to go during practice,
伊恩如果你必须在训练时上厕所
just, please, leave the field, okay?
离开球场就行了好吗
Coach Duane, anything you want to add?
杜威恩教练有什么要补充的吗
I think my wife is having an affair with my brother.
我觉得我妻子和我兄弟有一腿
Yay!
好耶
All right. Uh, bring it in.
好的来加油
All right.
好了
Hey, uh, maybe a little less sharing with the kids.
那个有些少♥儿♥不♥宜♥的事就不要说出来了
Look at you -- doing stuff.
瞧你居然在帮忙
Yeah. It's exciting, right? Yeah.
是啊真激动是啊
You know, half these kids can't eat peanuts,
那些孩子一半不能吃花生
and the other half only eat peanuts,
另一半只吃花生
So, one wrong bite, half the team dies.
吃错一口半军覆没
Oh, it's just orange slices and water.
只是橙子切片和水
W-well, there's one kid who can't have oranges.
有一个孩子不能吃橙子
His parents have some issues with Florida.
他的父母对佛罗里达州有些意见
And that kid with the shorty-shorts
那个穿超短裤的孩子
can't have any water, 'cause he's overhydrated.
不能喝水因为他身体水分过多
Hey, Pete?
嘿皮特
Stay strong, man. Yeah?
坚强些兄弟什么事
Come here.
过来
What's up?
什么事
Can you keep Bert tonight?