花瓶妻（2013）

Trophy Wife S01E07

Part 2 March 11, 2021, 2:37 p.m.

一杯新鲜芒果玛格丽塔酒马上来
One fresh-mango margarita coming right up.
不她不会...
No, no. She's not --
别担心我不会留下的
Don't worry. I'm not staying.
我是来拿希拉里的数学书的
I just came to get hillary's math book.
啤酒乒乓赛传播丙型肝炎的喜庆办法
Oh, beer pong. Ha. Festive way to spread hep-c.
开心点黛安
Oh, lighten up, Diane.
我很多表亲有丙型肝炎
A lot of my cousins have hep-c,
他们不是玩啤酒乒乓赛得的
and they didn't get it from playing beer pong.
我就需要这个首例病患来给我开教育课
Oh, just what I need -- a lecture from patient zero.
笑一下
Well, say cheese.
别告诉我要怎么做
Don't tell me what to do.
好的
Okay.
-找到我要的了我这就走 -拜拜
- Found what I need, and I guess I'll be going. - Bye.
大家晚安是你啊悲伤史蒂夫
Good night, all. Oh, Sad Steve.
大家好我是沃伦
Hi. I'm Warren.
我是波特·哈里森
And I'm Bert Harrison.
妈妈说不能说出姓什么
Oh, m-mom said not to use our last names.
我是波特
And I'm Bert.
首先我们要吃经典的
First up, we have a classic --
原味泡泡香口胶
Original flavor bubble yum.
波特你觉得怎么样
Bert, what do you think?
沃伦我觉得很好吃
Warren, I think it's yummy.
波特我不同意你的意见
Ooh. Bert, well, I'm gonna have to disagree with you
应该是超级好吃
and say it's super yummy.
这就是你们的香口胶秀吗
This is your gum show?
嗯很酷吧
Mm. Pretty cool, right?
不
Um, no.
你们需要有力的帮助
You guys need major help.
让我做执行制片人
Okay, make me your executive producer,
我会让观众增加三倍
and I will triple your viewers.
增加到9人
To nine.
我们要留下剩下的鳄梨酱吗
Hey, are we saving this leftover guacamole?
我们没做鳄梨酱
We didn't make any guacamole.
老天
Oh, god.
这是麦格的围巾
This is Meg's scarf.
那是史蒂夫的外套
That's Steve's jacket.
她的围巾为什么在他的外套里
What's her scarf doing in his jacket?
不知道
I don't know.
安静
Shh.
你给我安静
You "Shh."
麦格和悲伤史蒂夫吗
Meg and Sad Steve?
有人在你的办公室玩派对性♥爱♥
People having party sex in your office --
成功派对的征兆
sign of great party.
我在那里工作
I work in there.
就是太不像话了你在那里工作呢
Right. Not cool. You work in there.
发生什么事了派对乱搞吗
What's happening? Party sex?
那里面不是你和史蒂夫吗
That's not you and Steve?
我觉得不是不过我醉醺醺的也说不准
I don't think so, but I'm pretty drunk.
但你整晚都在勾搭他啊
But you were hitting on him all night.
我只是为了咨♥询♥关于那次
Oh, that was just to get free legal advice
商店盗窃事件的法律建议而已
About that shoplifting nonsense.
你当律师当得真够失败的
You turned out to be a bust.
你们能小点声吗我想爽一把呢
Hey, could you keep it down? 'cause I'm trying to get laid.
你们叽叽喳喳的把气氛都毁了
And you're kind of killing the mood with all your whispering.
淡定点小声点
Cool. Cool.
我真不敢相信她跑进我们家做♥爱♥
Ugh. I can't believe she had sex in our house.
苍天啊
Mother of god.
怎么了
What?
-老天爷啊 -好了够了
- Mother of god. - Ugh. Okay, that's it.
我们搬家吧
We're moving.
我要辞职
I'm quitting my job.
或许是我们反应过度了
Maybe we're just overreacting.
我是说史蒂夫和杰姬只是反常搅在一起而已
I mean, Steve and Jackie was a freak of nature.
就像是突然有龙♥卷♥风♥袭来
It's like when a tornado comes in,
把一群青蛙卷上天然后都降落在一个镇上
Sweeps up a bunch of frogs, and drops them on a town.
但他和她再也不会卷在一起了
His tornado will never drop her frogs again.
在你这个比喻中是把我们比作小镇吗
Are we the town in this metaphor,
还是说我们是...天啊
Or are we socie-- oh, geez.
怎么了
What?
有人用我电脑搜索了"桌上性♥爱♥体♥位♥"
Someone searched "Sex positions, desk."
-我得再擦洗一遍 -天啊
- I got to re-scrub. - Oh, god.
我得再擦洗一遍再擦洗一遍
I got to re-scrub. Re-scrub.
妈
Mom?
你被传上在线相册了
You're on instagram.
太好了什么是在线相册
Oh, wonderful. What's instagram?
-就是一个在线图片... -时间到
- Well, it's an online community where people -- - time out.
情况很糟糕
It's bad.
"数字醉妈"是什么意思
What on earth is "Number drunkmoms"?
是#醉妈#
It's #drunkmoms.
快删掉
Make it go away.
我做不到那不是我上传的
I can't. I didn't upload it.
你真得好好了解一下网络到底是怎么一回事
Okay, you seriously need to learn how the internet works.
我知道怎么做关节固定术就行了
I know how ankylostic arthrodesis works.
我不需要了解网络是怎么回事
I don't need to know how the internet works.
再说了谁会看见啊
I mean, who's gonna see it, anyway?
大家都能看见
Um, everybody.
么么哒快删掉
Mwah. Make it go away.
我做不到只有麦格能
I can't. Only Meg can.
我真没想到那个酒鬼竟然有钱上网呢
I didn't know that drunk could even afford the internet.
是免费的啊
It's free.
我们是不是需要谈谈...
Do we need to talk about --
不要不要
Nope. Nope.
好吧行没事
Great. Okay, cool.
那个其实就是...
You know, but, um, just, you know --
如果那样会...
You know, would it -- would it be --
那样会很古怪吗
Would it be weird?
是啊我懂的我也是那么想的
Yeah. That's -- I was -- yeah. I felt that.
毕竟她是你前妻你又是我老板
You know, she's your ex, and you're my boss and --
-是啊 -是那是合情合理
- Yeah. - Yeah, so that's -- no, it makes sense.
好了那再见吧
Okay. All right, I'll see ya.
其实我一直...
You know, it's just I've been, um --
都是单身状态单了挺久了
Been sort of single, you know, and single for quite a while.
我之前还想着不过算了吧
Um, I was just hoping, but you know what?
算了我说得越多越显得古怪
Now that -- the more I say it, the more it's just weird.
你不是这么弱的加油
You're better than this. Come on.
你是个男人
You're a man.
再会了就是...
Well, see ya. It's just --
我很抱歉皮特只是...
I'm sorry, Pete. It's just --
我真的非说不可那个...
I just need to say, I just --
那个我希望
I was just hoping, you know,
我能跟她多一些时间相处
She was someone I could spend more time with.
我也说不清
I don't know.
我已经累积了110天病假了皮特
I've accrued 110 sick days, Pete,
我都找不到人一起度假
And I have no one to share them with.
我只是希望我可以带她走
I was just hoping I could, you know, whisk her away,
就是我也说不清
You know, for -- I don't know --
反正就是带走很长时间
For, you know, long periods of time, I guess.
其实我仔细想想或许你该给她打电♥话♥
You know what? On second thought, you should call her.
你好凯特派对好有趣啊
Hi, Kate. Fun party.
派对很有趣你就想说这句话吗
"Fun party"? That's all you have to say?
我是不会说那是个超级成功的派对的
Well, I'm not gonna say it's a fantastic party,
因为超级成功的派对必须有酱饼
cause fantastic parties have piniatas.
你总该道个歉吧不仅毁了我们的派对
How about an apology for crashing our party
还在我们的房♥子里乱搞
And hooking up in our house?
得了只是皮特的办公室而已
Come on. It was just in Pete's office.
我们的"炮场"主要也就集中在桌上而已
You know, we kept it mainly on the -- on the desk.
杰姬停够了够了
Ah, Jackie stop, okay? That's enough. That's enough.
你老是往我们家跑而且
You're always here, and--
我对你的生活知道得有点太多了
and I knway too much about your life right now.
那你知道史蒂夫又约我出去了吗
Did you know that Steve asked me out again?