辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E18
Part 2
Oct. 21, 2025, 3:32 p.m.
*你敢信*
* If you can believe it *
*太悲伤*
* So sad *
*太悲伤*
* So sad *
*太悲伤*
* So sad *
莎拉·麦克拉克兰演唱
《母亲的心碎》
哭泣时刻
《傻猫和坏鼠》专辑
35年后的未来
丽莎·辛普森 非常感谢你
Lisa Simpson, thank you so much
能接受《女总裁》杂♥志♥的采访
for sitting down with She-E-O magazine.
你是女子职业篮球联赛历史上
You're the youngest commissioner in the history
最年轻的干事
of the women's professional basketball league,
现在叫做NBA
which is now called the NBA,
现在女子联赛的受欢迎程度远超男子联赛
and now dwarfs the popularity of the men's league,
他们叫成了MNBA
now called the MNBA.
你的成功秘诀是什么
What's the secret to your success?
现在的NBA 前身是WNBA
Well, here at the NBA, formerly the WNBA,
我们遵循我已故母亲教给我的理念
we like to follow what my late mother taught me:
做善事 才能成就自己
You do well by doing good.
我尤其感到自豪的是 所有支持我的成员
I'm especially proud that all my support staff
都是前球员
are former players.
辛普森女士 日程提醒
Ms. Simpson, a reminder that you are due to speak
您明天将在您的母校发言
at your old school tomorrow.
您哥哥巴仔给您发了一份传真
Oh, and your brother Bart sent you a fax.
真有趣 科技居然在35年里没怎么进步
Funny how technology hasn't moved forward in 35 years.
有变化也是倒♥退♥了
If anything, it's gone backwards.
巴仔说什么
What did Bart say?
"嘿 你忘了寄给我爸爸养老院的
"Dude, you forgot to send me the check
支票了"
for Dad's retirement home."
"等等 在抽屉里 跟我的大♥麻♥在一块"
"Oh, wait, I found it in a drawer with my weed."
"还好我没抽了它"
"Good thing I didn't smoke it."
"哈哈 没事儿了"
"Ha ha. Peace."
我不知道你还有个哥哥
I didn't know you had a brother.
我们不太亲近
We're really not that close.
我掏钱送他去学空调维修
I paid for him to go to air conditioning school,
但他退学了 因为进不了他
but he dropped out because he couldn't
想加入的兄弟会
get into the frat he wanted.
春田镇
丽莎·辛普森出生地
现在看来在这里长大也没那么糟糕
I guess this wasn't such a bad place to grow up.
罗德托德房♥地♥产♥
我们的第一条戒律 为你找一套公♥寓♥
很好 巴尼看起来还行
Okay, Barney doesn't look so bad,
综合来看
all things considered.
天啊那是内尔森
Oh, my God. That's Nelson.
我的生活发生了悲剧性转折
My life took a tragic turn.
好吧 至少爸爸在养老院很安全
Well, at least Dad's safe at the Retirement Castle.
养老院
新的淋浴椅到了
我快点就能在下午3点老人晚餐前见到他
Ooh, if I hurry, I can see him before 3:00 p.m. Dinner.
春田养老院
抱歉 今天不接待访客
I'm sorry, no visitors today.
老人们都去外出参观
All the seniors are on a field trip
硬糖博物馆了
to the Hard Candy Museum.
好吧 很遗憾见不到爸爸
Well, I'm disappointed I can't see my dad,
但也有点庆幸
but also kind of relieved.
你懂吧
You can relate, right?
当然了 我自己也不是啥孝女
Oh, of course. I'm also a horrible person.
我得先告辞了
Now, if you'll excuse me,
我还得为了一点点破工资去换200个尿单
I have to go change 200 bedpans for minimum wage.
我现在离演讲还有一个小时
So, I've got an hour to kill before my speech.
不如去老房♥子附近转一圈
Ooh, maybe I'll drive by my childhood home
科尔尼父子遮阳百货店
顺便感慨一下
and get choked up
我决定逃离是多么正确的决定
about how grateful I am not to live there anymore.
这音乐是怎么回事
What is that music?
高纤维益生粉
爸 这是什么情况
Dad, what is going on here?
完了完了
Oh, crap.
希望这是吃菌子的幻觉
Please be a hallucination from the mushrooms.
巴仔 这到底是怎么回事
Bart, what is going on here?
爸怎么没在养老院
And why isn't Dad in the retirement home?
我已经三年没住那里了
Oh, I haven't lived there for three years.
我这几年每个月都还在给你寄养老院的钱呢
Wait, I've been sending you the money for that place.
你还有什么事瞒着我
What else have you been lying about?
大家准备好观赏异国风情舞了吗
Who's ready for an exotic dancer?
我明明点的是脱衣舞娘
I wanted a stripper.
等等 我刚还在养老院门口跟你说话
Hold on, I just talked to you at the Retirement Castle.
你根本不是什么护士吧
Wh... You're not a real nurse at all.
我是啊
Yes, I am.
我兼♥职♥做护士 攒钱上脱衣舞培训学校
I nurse part-time to put myself through stripping school.
你看 我这是在帮年轻女孩实现梦想
See? I'm helping young women achieve their dreams.
你办了个非法养老院
So you're running an unlicensed retirement home,
还拿我的钱天天开趴
and throwing parties with the money I've been sending you?
你可以消停会儿吗
Would you stop doing that?
你还一直付费给那个脱衣舞护士
And you paid off that nurse stripper
就为了瞒住我
to keep me from finding out.
巴仔 好消息
Great news, Bart.
我搞定了老莱尼和老卡尔的家人
I got Lenny and Carl's families
从此他们的养老金会直接
to have their social security checks
打到我们卡里 爽翻
sent directly to us. Ka-ching!
丽莎·辛普森
Lisa Simpson!
哟
Wassup!
滚出去
Get out.
得嘞
All right!
好吧 我是撒了几个谎 但骗人又不犯法
Okay, I've told a few fibs, but since when is fraud a crime?
说真的 我照顾这帮老头子还挺上心的
Look, I'm good at taking care of these guys.
我做事特有条理 -这叫有条理 看这钥匙串
I'm super organized... - Organized? Look at your keys.
怎么啦 这是我的核心装备
What about them? This is my command center.
车...开...莱尼...撞了
Car drive Lenny crash good?
我的车
Ugh, my car!
我得赶去春田小学做演讲
I need to get to my speech at Springfield Elementary.
我想说
In my defense...
还狡辩 你是个失败的哥哥
In your defense? You're a failure as a brother,
失败的儿子 失败的人类
a son, a human being,
按你这副不负责任的德行 你很可能还是个
and given your shocking level of irresponsibility,
失败的爹
probably a father.
我的啪啪方式不会让任何人怀孕
Nobody gets pregnant from the kind of sex I have.
是的 我爸叫侯默·辛普森
Yes, my dad's name is Homer Simpson,
住在常青街742号♥
and he lives at 742 Evergreen Terrace.
春田小学
现在有请春田镇有史以来最了不起的人物
And now, the greatest person to ever come out of Springfield,
我的个人偶像 丽莎·辛普森
my personal hero, Lisa Simpson.
谢谢你 安布尔
Thank you, Amber.
今天我想告诉大家 只要拼命努力
Today, I want to tell you that if you work really hard
以梦为马
and dream really big,
你可以成为任何想成为的样子
you can become whatever you want to be.
但我今天没精力去扯那样的谎
But I don't have the energy to lie like that today
因为我对那失败的哥哥巴仔是如此愤怒
because I am so mad at my failure of a brother, Bart.
只要去想自己对他的拳头感到麻木时
Just when I think I'm numb to his punches,
他会得寸进尺 直击我灵魂之胫
he starts kicking, kicking me in the shins of my soul.
好了 丽莎·辛普森的致辞到此结束
Okay, let's all hear it for Lisa Simpson.
你居然在我台上崩溃之际打断我
How dare you interrupt my onstage breakdown!
再见 丽莎
Goodbye, Lisa.
如果你再回来的话
And if you're ever back in town,
不管怎样 千万不要打电♥话♥给我们
by all means, don't call us again.
假装它是个毛球
Just pretend it's a Tribble,
而你想通过空气槽
and you want to hit it out of the starship,
把它从飞船打出去
through the air chute.
丽莎 你想来和我们玩一会吗
Lisa, do you want to come play with us?
不 我不太想玩
No, I really don't want to.
来的话我会让你在餐桌上演奏萨克斯
I'll let you play your saxomaphone at the dinner table.
打得好
Way to go!
大家听我说 莱尼丢了
Guys, guys, guys. Lenny's gone.
脑子丢了吗 -是 但人也丢了的那种丢了
Mentally? - Yes, but also gone gone.
老天 我就知道应该给他背带上放个铃铛
Oh, God. I knew I should have put a bell on his suspenders.
莱尼 -莱昂纳德先生
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