辛普森一家

The Simpsons S36E02

Part 3 Oct. 21, 2024, 1:32 p.m.

塔罗占卜
被下毒的皇后
The Poisoned Queen?
生不如死的蛤♥蟆♥
The Suffering Toady? Mm.
还是上吊的新娘
Or is it the Hanged Bride?
要当心哦 -当心什么
Beware. - Beware?
是存在主义的危机吗
Is it "existential crisis" beware?
还是那种鸡蛋沙拉变质的危机
Or is it beware like the egg salad's gone bad?
别担心
Oh, don't worry.
这种占卜师一般都是冒牌货
These hotel fortune tellers are always fakes.
阿嫲厨房♥需要你
Mama, we need you in the kitchen, eh?
和我占卜的一样
Just as I predicted.
有件事我得和你说
There's something I'm afraid I have to tell you.
是件坏事
Something bad.
那得来点马卡龙中和一下
Sounds like I'm gonna need a macaron.
带上一整盘吧
Better take the whole plate.
我觉得你嫁了一个有杀人幻想的精神变♥态♥
I think you may be married to a murderous psychopath.
是反♥社♥会♥份子
Sociopath.
什么这可不好
What? That's crazy.
鲍勃当年为了我姐姐的钱财和她结婚
Bob married my sister for her money,
但我姐的财产还比不上你的零头
and she has way less than you.
但是我有份可靠的婚前协议呀
Well, I've got an ironclad prenup.
一旦我们离婚
If we get divorced,
鲍勃净身出户
Bob gets no money.
除非我是被谋杀的
Unless I'm murdered.
但他和我说那只是条款而已
But he told me that's just boilerplate.
*轻轻地抹杀她*
* Killing her softly *
*用我花言巧语*
* With my words *
*把刀刺向她*
* Ending her whole life with my knife *
*用绳勒住她*
* Choking her softly with rope... *
现在我的下一个要求是
And now for my next request,
希望安保将两位闯入者带走
I'd like to ask security to take out two trespassers
他们并非无意的对我出尔反尔
who, not coincidentally, went back on their word to me.
你们还在这
Uh, you're still here?!
安保
Security!
快往我眼上泼意面酱
Throw spaghetti sauce in my eyes!
这就好多了
That's-a better.
黄莲花礼品店
又是她
Oh, there she is again.
一名酒店经理难道不应该有其他事情要做吗
Doesn't a hotel manager have better things to do?
我必须捍卫酒店的品牌
I have to protect the brand!
品牌
The brand!
马姬跟着我做
Marge, do what I do.
该死柏妮丝
Damn it, Bernice.
《成瘾控制》
你难道不想活着离开酒店了吗
Do you want to leave this resort in a body bag?
最难的部分是
The only hard part will be getting her
把她弄到悬崖顶
to the top of the cliff.
如果猎犬们不能尽快尝到血的味道
If the hounds don't taste blood soon,
我怕它们就会失控
I fear they'll go mad.
这度假村到处都是疯子
This resort is filled with psychos,
凶手和中度精神失常者
murderers and mild neurotics!
我的腿好疼
Oy, my leg hurts...
只要下雾就这样
whenever there's fog.
我的天马姬
Oh, my God, Marge.
最可怕的那个在那里
It's the worst one of all!
有谁想去度个假
Who here has ever wanted to take a vacation
同时还能赚笔钱
and earn money at the same time?
你卖♥♥给我们的分时度假毫无价值
You sold us a worthless timeshare!
你得说具体点
Uh, you're gonna have to narrow that down.
你还记得这个吧
You remember this? Huh?
女士你知道我骗过多少孕妇吗
Lady, do you know how many pregnant women I have defrauded?
那孩子现在已经十岁了
That baby is now ten years old.
哦对我可忘不了那个屁屁
Oh, yeah. I'll never forget that ass.
你们肯定累计欠了不少债吧
You guys must have accumulated a hell of a lot of debt.
听着我已经不干那行当了
Look, I'm not in that business anymore, okay?
现在我帮人们逃脱分时度假骗局
Now I get people out of timeshare scams.
又是一个新骗局吗
Is that also a scam?
对利润高得多
Yeah. Much more profitable.
我要做一件当年就该做的事情
I'm going to do something now I should have done back then.
喂我作恶需要它
Hey, I need that for evil!
你可要遭恶报了先生
You have some very bad karma, mister.
好好我要遭恶报
Ooh, ooh, I have bad karma.
我好害怕
Oh, I'm so scared!
请不要伤害我印度的神祗们
Oh, please don't hurt me, Hindu gods!
少自作聪明
Don't be a smart aleck.
只要你作恶迟早遭报应
When you do something bad, it always catches up with you.
抓到你们了乞丐们
Gotcha! Moochers!
乞丐们吗 -他们非常讨人厌
Moochers? - They're despicable.
我一直看着你们在这天堂里令人难堪
I've been watching you all be miserable in paradise
还视一切为理所当然
and take everything for granted.
你们也许更有钱
So you may be wealthier,
但我们在更有意义的方面富有
but we're rich in what counts.
你说积分吗 -那种开心度假
Points? - The ability to go on vacation
和不需要谋划杀害所爱之人的能力
and have fun without plotting to kill our loved ones!
而现在女士
And now, lady,
我要享受美景
I'm going to take in the view!
乞丐寄生虫老赖吃白食者
知道吗侯默
You know, Homie,
轮渡一时先不会来
the ferry doesn't come for a while.
最后游次泳怎么样
How 'bout one last swim?
相依海湾
你耍了我柏妮丝
You've played me for a fool, Bernice.
到此为止了
But no more!
只有一个办法来结束这一切了
There's only one way to end this.
不
Oh, no!
我爱你柏妮丝
I love you, Bernice.
在你彻底戒断之前我们不下去了
And we're not coming down until you're clean.
在我搞清楚怎么让气球降落之前
Also, not until I figure out
我们也下不去
how to get this balloon back to land.
不停下
No! Stop!
杜宾犬们乖
Nice Dobermans!
还好我带了备用骨头
Thank God I brought my spare bone.
该死
D'oh!
为了你亲爱的
For you, my darling.
那些秘密电♥话♥都是为了送我这个
All the secret phone calls were to arrange this?
和所有的反♥社♥会♥者一样
Like all sociopaths,
我真正需要的是一个好女人的爱
all I really needed was the love of a good woman.
还有合适的药物
And the proper medication.
我现在只想使你窒息
Now all I want to do is smother you
用很多个吻
with kisses
在你身上纵火
and set you ablaze
用如火的激♥情♥
with passion.
真不可思议
Well, I'll be.
他是个和我一样称职的好丈夫
He's as great a husband as I am.
亲爱的我现在可以为你献唱
Now, my dear, may I serenade you
吉尔伯特与沙利文的美妙作品了吗
with the divine Gilbert and Sullivan?
*一个流浪的吟游诗人*
* A wandering minstrel I *
*满是支离破碎的感情*
* A thing of shreds and patches *
*吟唱着民谣歌♥曲片段*
* Of ballads, songs and snatches *
什么
Wha...
塔莎为什么
Tasha, why?
我有快速循坏型躁郁症
I'm a fast-cycling manic-depressive!
不鲍勃我都干了什么
Oh, no, Bob! What have I done?
鲍勃 -梅尔
Bob. - Mel.
代我向阿壳问好
My best to Krusty.
我们三个应该一起吃顿中饭
The three of us should have lunch.
确实但这周不行我在排毒
Yes, but not this week. I'm doing a cleanse.
你的结肠会感谢你的
Ah. Your colon will thank you.
我想大家都没事
So I guess everyone's fine!
除了这具尸体
Except for the body.
做作情节道具
鲨鱼
A shark.
原来是只可爱的小水獭
Oh, it's just an adorable little otter.