辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E08
Part 3
May 21, 2025, 8:41 p.m.
Thank God. Two sensible people.
小威 时候到了哦
Wylder, it's time.
*大家一起来唱*
* Let's all sing *
*便便之歌♥*
* The potty song *
不 不不不不
Oh, no... No, no, no.
我们家的小宝正在练习严格按照时间表如厕
Our little guy is on a strict potty training schedule.
*想拉便便的时候*
* When it's time to make a poo-poo *
*记得唱一声 粑粑*
* Give a shout, whoo-hoo. *
*粑粑*
* Whoo-hoo! *
*别粑粑*
* No hoo! *
请问你们有尿布吗
Um, do you guys have any diapers?
我们不敢说布这个词
Uh, we don't use the "D" word.
哦 天哪
Oh, boy.
处理一下危险的废弃物 快换尿布
Deal with your biohazard! Change that baby!
你怎么回事 快点
What's wrong with you? Oh, come on!
那不是个婴儿 那是仇恨犯罪
That's not a baby, that's a hate crime.
丽莎 尿布包在哪儿
Lisa, where's the diaper bag?
不在我这儿
I don't have it.
你怎么不去问你新宠女友阿麦呢
Why don't you ask your girlfriend, Maggie?
阿麦才不是我女朋友 马姬才是
Maggie's not my girlfriend, Marge is.
对了 在马姬那里
That's it. Marge has it.
找到了
There's the bag.
阿麦 快爬过小丑打架区
Maggie, crawl through the clown fight.
不要杀他 冠军
Don't kill him, champ.
我的养老金就快到手了
My pension is almost vested.
好了 阿麦 快去卫生间
Okay, Maggie, to the bathroom.
成功了
We made it.
厕所大厨
Toilet Chef.
亲戚
In-laws!
要加入英里高读书俱乐部吗
Care to join our Mile-High Book Club?
读书人
Readers!
阳光薯片 给我 我也要
SunChips. Give me, give me.
怎么...
What the...?
人都去哪了
Where is everybody?
请回到您的座位上 先生
Please calmly return to your seat, sir.
你把我恨之入骨的人♥渣♥怎么了
What did you do with all the horrible people I hate?
发生什么了
Tell me what's going on.
不然我就用安全带制裁你
Or I'll seatbelt you good.
为什么他们不用造黑匣子的材料
And why don't they make the whole plane out of the...
造飞机
black box material...?
乘客朋友们 这里是机长
This is your captain speaking.
便利航♥空♥
如果您向左边看去
If you look to your left, you will see
您将会看到壮丽的科罗拉多大峡谷
the magnificent Grand Canyon.
除非你是246个捣蛋鬼之一
Unless you're one of the 246 unruly souls
享受我们免费活板门传送机上监禁服务
who've been trap-doored into our complimentary in-flight prison.
活板门监狱 啥时候有的
Trapdoors that lead to a prison? Since when?
什么人想出来的损招啊
What monster could conceive of something this horrible?
伯恩斯公♥司♥
BurnsCo.
沃伦·翼展
外科硕士伯恩斯
伯恩斯的残忍♥概念股份有限公♥司♥首席执行官
始于1926 活板监狱遥遥领先
Proudly installing trapdoor dungeon drops since 1926.
还有什么比恐怖的尖叫
Is there anything more satisfying
和远处的砰砰声更令人满足呢
than a scream of terror followed by a distant thud?
翼展先生 这里是美国
Mr. Wingspan, this is America.
赛尔特先生
当我们侵犯公民自♥由♥时
When we violate people's civil liberties,
我们通常提醒他们 发发宣传册
we usually give them a heads-up, drop pamphlets,
发点巡航导弹什么的
send a cruise missile, uh, something.
参议员 我保证 我们事先提醒了
Senator, I assure you, we did warn the passengers
沃伦·翼展
粗俗行为的潜在结果
of the potential consequences of their actions.
全在安全视频里呢
It's all in the safety video.
没有人看安全视频
But nobody watches those things.
如果您的行为不当
Should you choose to be unruly,
您将会被活板送入飞机腹部的监狱
you'll be trap-doored into our belly-of-the-plane prison.
如果您的行为过激
If your behavior is too extreme,
球塞将从天花板掉落
a ball gag will fall from the ceiling.
请先给自己戴好球塞
Please affix your own ball gag first
再给您的孩子佩戴
before ball-gagging your child.
看到了吗
See? I was right.
我提醒过你们的 你们却都觉得是我疯了
I tried to warn you, but you all thought I was crazy.
无意冒犯 但可能是你语气的问题
Not to criticize, but maybe it's your tone?
我语气没有问题
My tone is fine!
饮料服务到此结束
And that concludes your beverage service.
他还挺幽默
He's pretty funny.
才不是呢 恶心
No, he's not, he sucks.
接招
Take that!
谁允许他们这么做的
They can't do this to us!
我们买♥♥票了 理应想干啥干啥
Buying a ticket gives us the right to do what we want.
天上无法律
There's no law in the sky.
我们破牢而出吧
I say we bust out.
谁赞成谁反对
Who's with me?
拿出来所有可用的武器
We'll need every available weapon.
我有指甲刀 还有锋利的指甲
I got toenail clippers. And some pretty sharp toenails.
我有一呕吐袋的下水道虾
I got an airsick bag of hot bathroom shrimp.
亲爱的马姬
My darling Marge.
我在一场监狱暴♥乱♥的风口浪尖给你写信
I am writing you from the cusp of yet another prison riot.
如果我没挺过这场英勇的逃亡
If I die in this heroic escape attempt,
请以无辜的受害者铭记我
remember me as a blameless victim.
来自一个被困在长途监狱中的人
One who got caught up in the coach-to-prison pipeline.
哦对 我把阿麦丢了 希望她和你在一块
BTW, lost Maggie, hope she's with you.
我去忙了 耸肩
Lots going on. Shrug emoji.
侯默
希望她和你在一块
我去忙了 耸肩
查找表情
马姬在回我
Marge is writing me back.
停止 停止什么
Stop? Stop what?
红酒 红酒 红酒
Wine, wine, wine?
她想让我别叽叽歪歪了
Do you want me to stop whining?
蜜蜂 男人
Bee. Man.
当个男人
Be a man?
叉 龙虾
X. Lobster.
不要那么自私
Don't be shellfish?
天呢 我确实只想着自己
Oh, my God, I am always thinking of my shelf.
靠窗位
Window seat.
靠窗位 靠窗位
Window seat. Window seat.
监狱总控
请勿用愚蠢物品击打
不 这场叛乱是错误的
No! This revolt is wrong.
我老婆刚刚用一堆
I know this because my wife just spoke to me
直白明确的表情符号♥说服了我
in a series of direct and unambiguous emojis.
我们别当笨猪倔驴
Let us not be pigs. Or mules.
也别当用传真机的美人鱼
Or a mermaid with a fax machine.
没错 我们不得不忍♥受行李费用
Sure, we have to put up with baggage fees,
狭小空间 还有二十美元的蛋白质餐盒
no leg room, and those $20 "protein boxes."
但飞行是一个现代奇迹
But flying is a modern miracle,
我们的回礼
and all that's asked of us in return
只是做人的基本礼貌
is basic human decency.
我可以对婴幼儿更耐心一点
Mm, I could be more patient with kids and babies.
我毕竟是个幼儿教师
After all, I am a preschool teacher.
抱歉我用你的头发骨狠揍了你的丈夫
I'm sorry I savagely beat your husband with your hair bone.
他不是我的
He's not my...
算了
Oh, forget it.
用我老婆的话来说
So to quote my wife,
我们需要开始文明行事
we have to start acting civilized
别再当一群超大的
and stop being a bunch of huge...
茄子
eggplants.
各位 既然你们都展现出了
Well, folks, now that you've exhibited
一丁点礼貌
a modicum of civility,
手铐指示灯已熄灭
the handcuff sign has been turned off.
你们可以回到座位上
You are now free to return to your seats
处理把你们变成如今的
and work through the childhood trauma
有史以来最丑陋的美国人的
that led you to behave like the ugliest
童年创伤了
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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