辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E14
Part 1
May 21, 2025, 8:41 p.m.
《辛普森一家》
第三十六季 第十四集
刀乐托商店
国♥庆♥节
妈耶 这商店咋沦落成这样了
Yeesh. The Dollar Store has definitely seen better days.
一麻袋煤
政♥府♥牌芝士饼干
麦片圈 现在有味儿了
这破地方
This low-rent dump
看着像僵尸片片场一样
looks like the set of a zombie movie.
牌子
Brands!
牌子
Brands!
没人听过这些品牌
No one ever heard of these brands.
阿壳牌麦片
是因为我们把钱都花在今晚派对的食物上了
Look, we spent a lot of money on food for tonight's party,
所以我只能削减餐具的开支
so I have to scrimp on the utensils,
纸盘子 厕纸什么的
paper plates, and toilet paper.
史考夫牌厕纸
现在有半层厚
这下可好
Oh, great.
史努提奶昔
是海伦·勒弗乔伊
It's Helen Lovejoy.
快点 遮住脸 -马姬 马姬·辛普森
Quick, kids, paper towels. - Marge? Marge Simpson.
大脑壳牌
我一看就是你从那个丢人超♥市♥出来
I assumed that was you coming out of the shame store,
所以我飞奔而来
so I rushed right over.
你好 海伦
Hi, Helen.
是来屯午餐肉罐头和速食拉面的吗
Stocking up on potted meat and broken ramen packets?
你知道教堂的领食物活动
You know, the church pantry is always open
你这种穷♥人♥可以多去的
to the under-fortunate.
我晚上要开生日派对
I'm just getting some supplies
过来买♥♥点东西
for my birthday party tonight.
对哦 在你家的小后院聚会
Right. Your little backyard soiree.
我过生日时候 提摩西带我去了
For my birthday, Timothy took me
乔诗·葛洛班的加拿大峡谷航游
on the Josh Groban Canadian canal cruise.
但我相信你的安排也一样有趣
But I'm sure your thing will be just as fun.
完蛋了
Oh, boy.
她咋了
What's her deal?
她在丢人超♥市♥遇到海伦·勒弗乔伊了
She bumped into Helen Lovejoy at the shame store
然后就一直低吼到现在
and has been growling ever since.
没事儿
Don't worry.
每次她回家的时候 如果那双迷人的小眼睛里
Whenever she comes home with a murderous rage
有着要杀人般的怒火 她就会上楼呆一会
in her cute little eyes, she goes upstairs for a bit,
等她下来的时候 就会像头驴一样温顺
then when she comes down, she's cool as a mule in summer school.
真好奇她在楼上是怎么卸掉压力的
I wonder what she does up there to de-stress herself so fully.
你已经达到了本月的想象力上限
You've reached your imagination limit for the month.
如需继续想象 请订阅
To keep imagining, please subscribe.
完全想不到 但不管什么办法 确实见效
I can't imagine, but whatever she does, it works.
好了 家人们
All right, my loveables.
给我举办一场最棒的生日派对吧
Let's throw me the best birthday party ever.
市长
谁想吃蟹肉酥
Who wants crab puffs?
马姬 这派对棒极了
Marge, this party is a hit.
生日快乐
连春田的名人都来了
Even the Springfield celebs are here.
是啊 沃夫卡斯 阿尼·派
I know. Wolfcastle, Arnie Pye,
就连蜜蜂男都来了
freaking Bumblebee Man is here.
你知道谁没来吗
And you know who's not here?
一大堆熊孩子
A bunch of snot-nosed children.
你把他们圈在哪了
Where'd you put them all?
我是粉刺
I'm a pimple.
真没想到镇上的所有人
I never imagined that everyone in town
都能来参加我的派对
would show up for my birthday.
那必须的啊 马姬 春田镇民都爱你
Of course we did, Marge. Springfield adores you.
你是烘焙销♥售♥界的传奇
You're a bake sale legend.
你总有额外的内衣物来帮助我们苗浩斯一家
You always have spare underwear for my Milhouse's "Uh-ohs."
而且你对大家都很友善
Plus, you're always nice to everybody,
对混球也一样 比如我 还有冒犯点说 侯默
even the town jerks, like me and, uh, no offense, Homer.
市长
以我肚子里的红酒为名
By the pinots ingested in me,
我宣布马姬·辛普森就是春田镇最友善的女士
I hereby decree Marge Simpson the nicest lady in Springfield.
生日快乐
昨晚就像做梦一样
Last night was like something out of a dream.
是啊 我梦到自己裸体去上班
Yeah. Can you believe I went to work naked
然后牙全掉光了
and my teeth all fell out?
我以前参加舞会也很开心
I've enjoyed my share of balls before,
但还从没当过焦点人物
but I was never the belle of one.
就当我以为没法更开心的时候
And just when I thought it couldn't get any better,
现在又能打扫这么多东西了
now I get to clean again.
旧跑鞋 背带裤
Old sneakers, coveralls,
工业级别头巾
industrial-grade kerchief...
不见了 在哪里 在哪里
It's gone. Where is it? Where is it?
什么在哪里 -我的盒子 秘密盒子
Where's what? - My box. My secret box.
秘爱盒子 -不不 装满信的盒子
The sex box? - No. No, my box of letters.
什么信
What letters?
我的装满仇恨信的秘密盒子
My secret box of hate letters.
但是秘爱盒子没事吧
But the sex box is okay?
好了我要说了
Okay, here it goes.
我还是个愣头青的时候
When I was a teenager,
我会偶尔 我并不觉得骄傲
I would occasionally... and I'm not proud of this...
发个火
get mad.
傻♥逼♥蒂姆·麦道斯
Stupid Tim Meadows.
蒂姆·麦道斯
你♥他♥妈♥干嘛离开《周六夜现场》
Why the hell would you leave SNL?
你可是关键人物
You're a linchpin.
写信安息吧
你的笔如何让你禅静
有一天我读到一篇文章
Then one day, I came across this article
彻底改变了我的一生
that would change my life forever.
《蓝发月刊》
《年轻女子居家刊》
上面说 如果有人让你生气
It said, when someone makes you angry,
给他们写一封火力全开的信
write them a fiery letter full of everything
把想当面说的话全部写上去
you wish you could say to their face,
然后永远不要寄出去
then never send it, and poof,
就这样坏情绪彻底消失
the bad feelings are gone forever.
那天以后 我写了几百封信
From that day forward, I wrote hundreds of letters,
你猜怎么 这让我变成一个更友好的人
and you know what? It made me a much nicer person.
跳碎木机吧 马姬·辛普森
"Go jump in a wood chipper. Marge Simpson."
我每次写完一封 感觉会好很多
And every time I wrote one, I felt much better,
坏情绪全都被藏了起来 然后消失
with all my bad feelings tucked away and, therefore, gone.
马姬的秘密
秘爱盒子
但是那些信只是给我看的
But those letters were just for me.
绝对不该给任何别人看的
They weren't meant to be read by anyone, ever.
我们必须要找到它们
We have to find them.
亲爱的放松 肯定在这里某个角落
Honey, relax. I'm sure they're around here somewhere.
可能是清洁女佣挪走了
Maybe the cleaning lady moved them.
老娘就是清洁女佣
I'm the cleaning lady.
告诉我们你挪到哪里去了 不然走人
Tell us where you moved them, or you're fired.
妈妈 你收到了一条未知号♥码的短♥信♥
Uh, Mom, you got a new message from an unknown number.
新消息提醒
未知号♥码
未知号♥码
亲爱的马姬 我们握有你的信
Dear Marge, we have your letters.
如果你还想见到它们 付五千美金
If you want to see them again, pay us $5,000.
如果拒绝 我们就给全世界看看
If not, we will show the world what a mean bitch
马姬·辛普森究竟是个什么样的贱女人
Marge Simpson really is.
我们现在就可以这么说吗
Can we say that now?
我们必须找到偷信贼
We've got to find that letter thief.
好 我们有昨天在这里
Okay. We've got photos
参加派对的每个人的照片
of everyone who was at the party last night.
所有我们最亲爱的和挚爱的们
All our dearest friends and loved ones.
其中一个狗♥娘♥养♥的手握你母亲的信要挟
One of these scumbags is holding your mom's letters hostage.
但是到底是谁
But who?
我赌是贾斯珀
My money's on Jasper.
他丑 丑人多犯罪
He's ugly, and ugly people are prone to crime.
我一直讨厌丑人 如今我知道为什么了
I've always hated ugly people, and now I know why.
各位 昨晚 我们的朋友和邻居
Guys, last night, our friends and neighbors
都来参加 是为了告诉妈妈他们多爱她
came to show Mom how much they love her.
我们不能随随便便指责别人有的没的
We can't just accuse people willy-nilly.
是威利
Willie!
派对时光
当然了 他是派对方圆一英里内最丑的人
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