辛普森一家

The Simpsons S36E02

Part 1 Oct. 21, 2024, 1:32 p.m.

马姬我就喜欢你用冰冷僵硬的手指
Marge, I love when you grab my butt
抓我的屁♥股♥
with your cold, stiff fingers.
老侯我没抓你屁♥股♥
Homie, I'm not touching your butt.
救命救生员
Save me, Baywatch!
《辛普森一家》
第三十六季第二集
*火♥辣♥身材与谋杀案*
*Hot bodies and murder*
*又美又富的人们也做坏事*
*Rich, sexy people behaving badly*
*这样一想当个无名穷鬼也挺好*
*Makes you feel better about being broke and unknown*
*故弄玄虚的雕像和无尽的早午餐*
*Symbolic statues and endless brunch*
*为什么他们这么能吃却依然健美*
*How do they eat like that and still look great naked?*
*他们肯定在吃血糖药*
*Are they on O-O-O-Ozempic?*
黄莲花度假村
一周前
黄莲花度假村五星级的奢华场所
The Yellow Lotus, a luxury, five-star resort,
刚刚对春田镇最难以满足的人群开放了
has opened its teakwood doors to Springfield's neediest minority:
那帮富人精英们
the wealthy elite.
紧急插播一条
And in breaking news...
这个
This just in...
刚被我吃了
my mouth.
你确定这是我们之前买♥♥的分时度假吗
Are you sure this is the timeshare we bought?
就是这个地址没错
It's the exact same address.
我们已经连续交了十年的钱了
We've been paying into it for ten years.
只是感觉这地方对于我们来说有点过于豪华了
It just seems too good a place for us to have a reservation.
你自己读读看
Read it and weep.
喜极而泣了吧
For joy... 'cause it's good.
此生难得的分时度假投资机会
其实法律上不允许我说
Now, I'm legally forbidden to say
十年前
这是项好投资
that this is a good investment.
但这真是一项好投资
But this is a very good investment.
侯默我不太舒服
Homer, I'm uncomfortable.
孩子在我肚子里跳蹦床呢
The baby's using my womb as a trampoline,
而且消费者报告说
and Consumer Repo says
分时度假是房♥产业的最差投资
timeshares are the worst investment in real estate.
我又不是在销♥售♥房♥产
Hey, I am not selling you real estate.
我卖♥♥的东西
I'm selling you something
要有价值的多
that is much more valuable than property.
积分
Points.
积分吗
Points, eh?
用积分你们可以随时兑换一趟梦幻度假
Points that you can trade in for a dream vacation any time,
除了断电时期
except on blackout dates.
你们肚子里的宝宝也可以继承积分
Your unborn children will inherit your points.
以及费用
And your fees.
简直就是抢劫是我抢
It's a steal. For me.
你抢我啊
Why, you!
有个小疑问他是在用屁♥股♥对着我吗
Yeah, quick question. Is he mooning me?
我儿子的屁♥股♥已经说明了一切
The baby's behind speaks for us all
意思是我们应该马上离开
when it says we should leave now!
当然可以你们又不是囚犯
Well, of course. You're not prisoners.
但如果离开了你们就犯法了
But if you leave, you are breaking the law,
如果不先签了这份合同那你们就等着坐牢吧
and you'll end up in prison unless you sign this contract.
不好了我丈夫严重过敏了
Oh, no. My husband is having a severe allergic reaction.
必须马上送他去医院
He needs to get to the hospital immediately!
又一顿免费早餐
Another free breakfast,
区区生命危险而已
and all I had to do was risk death.
侯默我发现你在盯着这个泡芙塔
Homer, I see you eyeing this delicious croquembouche.
有85个泡芙哟
85 choux puffs.
你以为我会为了一顿甜点
You think I would sign a lifetime contract
而签一份终生合约吗
for a stupid dessert?
这次不可能了
Never again.
尤其是特许通讯之后
Not after Spectrum cable.
我的朋友这里是美国
My friend, this is America.
只是因为你没办法负担某样东西
Just because you can't possibly afford something
并不代表你不能买♥♥它
doesn't mean that you can't buy it.
奢侈度假并非有钱人和有名人的专利
Luxury vacations are not just for the rich and the famous.
普通的蠢货也能拥有比如你
They're for average schlubs like you.
比如我 -当然了
Like me? - Of course!
侯默哪个更重要感觉有钱还是真有钱
Homer, what is more important: to feel rich or to be rich?
真有钱
To be rich!
再猜一次
Guess again.
感觉有钱
To feel rich!
没错现在签了吧
Exactly. Now sign.
或者别签把家庭付诸最差的人生
Or don't and commit your family to the worst life of all:
没有希望的那种人生
one with nothing to look forward to.
分时度假合约
条款和条件
免费送一套立体声系统
You get a free boombox.
成交
Done!
但我们什么时候可以用分时度假
But when can we use the timeshare?
这个问题的答案就是
The answer to that is...
宝塔焦糖奶油松饼
The croquembouche!
侯默你是对的
Homer, you were right.
真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
每个月的月费维修费
The monthly fees, the maintenance fees,
还有计算费用的费用
the fee-calculating fees.
都值了
All worth it!
欢迎伯恩斯先生史密瑟斯先生
Welcome, Mr. Burns. Mr. Smithers.
谁是好孩子
Who's a good boy?
后跟后跟别再咬我后跟了
Heel, heel! Stop biting my heel!
这些狗工作太辛苦了需要放假
These dogs have been working hard and need a vacation.
他们需要被宠爱被修甲
They need to be pampered, pedicured
还需要一天两次下♥体♥发泄
and anally expressed twice a day.
放松猎狗们
Relax the hounds!
遵命先生等我一下
Yes, sir. Excuse me.
这里的一切都是只供顾客的
Everything here is for guests only,
包括美景
including the view.
好呀
Howdy.
你不能这么对我们
You can't do this to us!
我们可能没有那么多钱
We may not have much money,
但我们有够多这里看重的东西积分
but we're rich in what counts around here: points!
对了是的那家分时度假公♥司♥
Ah, yes, right. Well, that timeshare company
不再拥有这里的资产了
no longer owns this property.
但礼貌回应我们依然尊重那些积分
But as a courtesy, we do honor those points.
结账时见
I'll see you at checkout.
春田镇
这会是我们人生中最棒的一周
This is going to be the most wonderful week of our lives.
SPA服务
结账了哦远离小酒吧
Checkout time. Back away from the minibar.
不好意思是不是要我提醒你一下
Uh, excuse me. May I remind you
我们积攒了4.5亿积分
we have accumulated 450 million points.
等于二十分钟你们的逗留结束了
Which equals 20 minutes. Your stay is over.
这间房♥间现在属于席博夫妇
This room now belongs to Dr. And Mrs. Hibbert.
你觉得自己赢了是吧
Oh, you think you've won, eh?
我们要拿走免费洗发水
We are taking the free shampoo!
傻♥逼♥洗发水
Stupid shampoo!
为什么我想偷的所有东西全都固定住了
Why is everything I want to steal bolted down?!
将军
Check... mate.
我们订的是不含酒的房♥间不要小冰箱
We requested a sober room. No minibar.
我老婆一年没沾酒了
My wife has gone a whole year without a drink.
我可真谢谢你朱留斯
Oh, thank you, Julius.
说吧告诉所有人
Please tell everybody.
我就不提你让护士完成手术
I won't mention how you have your nurse
自己好去打高尔夫的事了
finish your operations so you can go play golf.
女人
Woman.
别担心我
Don't worry about me.
我不喝酒也能应付得好好的
I know how to cope perfectly well without drinking.
瑞士三角巧克力
真庆幸我找了个医生
I'm so glad I married a doctor.
下一班公共轮渡
早上六点
欢迎来到黄莲花度假村
Welcome to the Yellow Lotus.
我叫肖娜你是塔莎
I'm Shauna. You're Tasha.
我知道我叫塔莎通常情况下
Yes, I know my name. Usually.
我还预订了迎客按♥摩♥
I also ordered a welcome massage.
不要瑞典式要日式
Not Swedish, shiatsu.
另外我笑会疼