辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E09
Part 3
May 21, 2025, 8:41 p.m.
to your that?
小心我的朋友吉米就好
Just watch out for my friend Jimmy.
如果你不注意 他会弹你的蛋蛋
He will flick you in the nuts if you're not looking.
我很期待
I look forward to it.
那个爱评头论足 说我才是问题所在的
Where does that judgmental old clown-aunt
小丑的阿姨到底是怎么想的
get off saying I'm the problem?
我怎么可能是造成你们三个争吵的原因呢
How can I be the reason you three don't get along?
那位女士疯了
That lady's off her rocker.
谢谢 亲爱的
Thank you, sweetie.
你总是知道该如何赞同我的观点
You always know how to agree with me.
对 没错
Yes, I do.
说得好像会有一个
As if there were a world
我能跟自己死敌做朋友的世界似的
where I'd be friends with my worst enemies.
与帕蒂和塞尔玛做朋友吗
Hmm. Friends with Patty and Selma.
春田镇鱿鱼港
侯默 你在这里做什么
What are you doing here, Homer?
这不是你的做派
This isn't you.
你不是这种人
You're not this person.
好吧 现在我们都说在了
So, here we all are.
如果我能远离你们 我会的
If I could have stayed away, I would have.
我身体有一部分是想逃跑的
Part of me wants to run.
还有一部分的我知道自己不想再跑了
Part of me knows I'm through running.
你觉得那个刻薄的女人说的话是真的吗
Do you think there's any truth to what the mean lady said,
如果没有马姬 我们就会是朋友
that we would be friends if not for Marge?
我知道自己不想这样相信
I know I don't want to believe it.
我们得弄明白这到底是不是真的
We need to figure out if this is real.
我知道有个可以悄悄探索这些感觉的
I know a place where we can explore these feelings
地方
discreetly.
帕蒂和塞尔玛 欢迎来到老谋子酒吧
Patty and Selma, welcome to Moe's.
老谋子酒吧
好奇怪 阳光根本照不进酒馆
Weird how the sunlight stops at the doorway,
好像光不敢进来一样
like it's afraid to come in.
是啊 一位科学家曾试图探求其原因
Yeah, a scientist tried to explain it one time
场面失控的不行
and went crazy.
侯默 嘶 侯默
Homer. Psst. Homer.
嘿 过来
Hey, I said "Psst."
这两个美人是谁
Who are these two goddesses?
她俩是马姬的姐姐
They're Marge's sisters.
马姬有两个比她还性感的姐姐吗
Midge has two hotter sisters?
帕蒂和塞尔玛
Patty and Selma.
佩奇和西德格吗
Pidge and Sidge?
是吧 双胞胎
Well, yeah, they're twins.
老天爷 双胞胎
Oh, my God. Twins?
自从我看了电影《双胞胎》的老广♥告♥
I always dreamed of hooking up with twins.
此生梦想就成了搞一对双胞胎
Ever since I saw that old commercial for the movie Twins.
帕蒂是女同 所以
Patty's a lesbian, so I don't think...
其中一个还对男人不感兴趣
And one of 'em has zero interest in men?
我当场坠入爱河
I think I'm in love over here.
你居然没把她们介绍给我
How could you keep this from me?
你怎么能这么对我
How could you do it?
这些年我们都对对方恨之入骨
All these years we treated each other like garbage.
这全是马姬的错
But it was Marge's fault.
希望我们能自己找到方法原谅她
I hope we can find it in ourselves to forgive her.
鉴于我们都这么伟大 肯定能的
Seeing as we're such great people, we probably will.
敬咱哥三个
To the three... amigos?
四个 你太胖了 一个顶俩
Four. You're so fat, you count twice.
耶
Zing!
碰
Twice.
马桶刷头老处♥女♥如是说
Said the spinster with a toilet brush for a head.
耶
Zing!
犀利
Good one.
既然大家都是好哥们了
Now that we're buddies,
再刺耳的侮辱也蛮让人心情愉悦的
our horrible insults are just delightful zings.
看侯默 这是你的头
Look, Homer, it's your head.
还印着你的智商
It's even got your IQ.
耶
Zing!
感觉我在被两袋湿邮件压着
It's like I'm being crushed by two sacks of wet mail.
耶
Zing!
你是要去试镜了
Did you have to audition for this part
还是你经纪人已经接到电♥话♥了
or did your agent just get a call?
耶
Zing.
过把瘾密室逃脱
只用了38分钟 没用提示
38 minutes. No hints.
我没参与
I stayed out of the way.
侯默
Homer?
龋齿克星儿童牙科
马姬
Marge!
老爸 你是在和帕蒂和塞尔玛玩吗
Dad, are you hanging out with Patty and Selma?
没有 就是
No, the thing is...
看起来你们玩得很好
It seems like you guys are friends.
哈哈 是吗
Wh-Why would I...
如果没有我你们玩得很好
If you guys are getting along without me,
那问题的确是我
the problem is me.
马姬就是问题
张嘴 张嘴
Open. Open.
好朋友
Friends.
谁是你朋友
Unlikely friends.
记得别泼我
Remember, no splashing.
妈妈 去下面和他们一起玩吧
Oh, no. Mom, you should go down and join them.
不了 我只会制♥造♥矛盾
No, I'd only cause trouble
因为问题出在我身上
because I'm the problem.
你当然不是了
Of course you're not.
没事 我能接受
No, I am. It's fine, though.
以前我最想让你♥爸♥爸和我姐姐们能好好相处
Your father and my sisters getting along was my dream
现在终于实现了 我的生活很好
and it happened and now my life is perfect.
电视治疗万岁
Hooray for TV therapy.
万岁万岁万万岁
Hooray, hooray, hooray.
是啊 你在楼上看着他们玩
So perfect that you're up here watching them
一遍一遍叠已经叠好的衣服真算完美生活呢
while you refold laundry that's already been folded.
也许最开始我就做错了吧
Maybe I don't do things right the first time.
或者一直没对过
Or any time.
巴仔 妈这有糖
Bart! Mom has candy!
糖糖糖糖糖
Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy.
一切都被我毁了
I ruined everything.
有糖吗
Candy?
阿壳 你终于来了
Krusty, you made it.
说的怎么好像我不是那种会开车三小时
Like I'm not gonna drive three hours
就为和家人在一起的人
to be with my crew family.
你还给孩子们弄了个小水牢 不错
You got a little water prison for the kids. Nice.
那是个泳池
Oh, it's a pool.
不 泳池是从地面挖下去的
No, pools go in the ground.
你一定要来见见我的邻居
Oh, you got to meet my neighbors.
那是菲尔 他是警♥察♥
That's Phil. He's a cop.
这是乔 警♥察♥
Joe, cop.
警♥察♥ 警♥察♥ 警♥察♥
Uh, cop, cop, cop.
我爱执法机构
Uh, I love law enforcement.
和法律
And laws.
帮个忙 老壳
Hey! Little help, K-dawg?
我可以的
Oh! I can do this.
我赌过这种球
I bet on this sport.
一边玩去 杰登 一边去
Walk it off, Jayden. Walk it off.
沙丘在呼唤你 伙计
The dunes are calling your name, bro!
我继子的继子
My stepson's stepson,
用船零件做的这个宝贝
he built this baby out of boat parts!
所以绝对没有刹车或安全功能妨碍你加速
So, no brakes or safety features to weigh you down.
聪明
Smart.
有头盔吗
Is there a helmet?
统计学角度 没头盔你更安全
Statistically, you're safer without one.
你需要自己探索
Got to do your own research.
好 我能行
Okay, I can do this.
就开的又慢又稳
Just take it slow and steady.
心肺复苏起作用了
Hey, the CPR worked!
你心脏停跳时候看到的天堂是哪个
And when your heart stopped, which heaven did you see?
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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