辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E15
Part 1
May 21, 2025, 8:41 p.m.
《辛普森一家》
第三十六季 第十五集
同位素体育馆
春田队VS克利夫兰队
票价五元
好的 同位素队又一次达阵成功
Yay! Another run for the Topes.
为什么另一支队伍里都是伛偻提携呢
Why is everyone on the other team old men and little kids?
小亚伯
Well, little Abe,
克利夫兰队
春田镇队
因为联盟里厉害的球员
it's because all the good players in the league
都去参军了
are off fighting the war.
咱们队里的这帮懦夫都装病没去
Our clever cowards found a way out.
春田镇的下一位击球手
Now batting for Springfield,
假咳·约翰逊
Fake Cough Johnson.
噢对 咳 咳
Ooh, cough, cough.
好球
Yippee!
爷爷和
有一天你也会跟你自己的孙子
Someday you'll be sitting in these very seats
坐在这里一起看球的
enjoying baseball with a grandson of your own.
我等不及那一天到来了
I can't wait for that someday.
爷爷和亚伯
我还在等着
I'm still waiting.
在浴缸里发生意外了吗
体育场
请拨♥打♥1-888-缸-律
巴仔 是爷爷
Bart, it's your grampa.
今天是个看球的好日子啊
It's a beautiful day for a ballgame.
算了 棒球不过是一群穿着紧身裤
Eh, baseball's just a bunch of guys
又懒得动的人罢了
in tight pants barely moving.
我在家也能看
I can watch that here.
马姬 我的肚子又把皮带吃了
Marge, my stomach ate my belt again.
去褶子下面找找
Look under the fold.
我不敢
I'm too a-scared.
看来又是只有我自己
Ah, I guess it's just me
和那个自助储存仓了
and the self-storage units again.
为棒球而生
自动储存仓
真是靠了
Dagnabbit!
洋基队
同位素队
这下起势了
Now we're cooking.
这才是老爷们
In the only way men should.
还有粉丝吗
Another fan?
一起看啊
Want some company?
太好了 我马上过去
Oh, boy, I'll be right there!
这场同位素队够呛了吧
Another tough one for the Topes, huh?
啊 确实 够呛了
Yeah, yeah, tough one.
91年的时候我们其实有机会
We would've had a shot in '91
要不是闪电侠刘易斯打一半比赛被抓走了的话
if Flash Lewis didn't get arrested mid-game.
确实 那哥们很会偷垒的
Oh, yeah, oh, that guy could really steal bases.
也挺会偷牙医的笑气
And nitrous from the dentist's office.
你要不要找点乐子 顺便帮帮球队
Hey, you want to have some fun and, uh, help the team?
你真烂
You suck!
我的肾结石都比你扔的球快
My kidney stones move quicker than your fastball.
你扔的还不如桑迪·寇法克斯赎罪日那场比赛
You pitch worse than Sandy Koufax on Yom Kippur.
没听懂但是他说的对
Whatever the hell that is!
给他整急眼了
We rattled him.
跟你们没关系
That wasn't because of you!
是我的婚姻要破裂了
I'm having troubles with my marriage.
在家射不了 在这射不就行了吗
Well, at least you're striking out somewhere.
这是我最开心的一场输球了
I've never enjoyed losing 14-1 more.
在浴缸里发生意外了吗
体育场
请拨♥打♥1-888-缸-律
纽约洋基队VS春田同位素队
最后一名
有人陪的时候 痛苦都被分担了
Misery isn't so bad when you have company.
是啊 我说这句是不是应该成谚语什么的
Yeah, hey, they should make a saying about that.
但估计也没戏
Yeah, but they probably won't.
我说 要是 呃
Hey, listen, uh, if you, uh,
要是你过几天还没突然去世的话
don't end up stroking out in the next couple of days, uh,
我们再来看一场呗
maybe we could do this again?
不来也行 也行
Or not, or not.
你为啥非得这么主动呢 老谋子
Ooh, why do you have to come on so hard, Moe?
真蠢 真蠢 真蠢
Stupid, stupid, stupid...
求之不得
I'd love to.
啥...
Wha...?
那可太好了
Hey, that's great!
还有那个 那个要是我把你
Hey, would it, would it be okay if I added you
存到电♥话♥薄里行吗
as a contact in my phone?
联♥系♥人
你是第一位
You'd be the first one.
你是我电♥话♥薄里唯一还活着的
And you'll be my only living one.
联♥系♥人
*今天是个好日子*
* It's a beautiful day for a ballgame *
官方比赛
同位素队
勇敢者队
VS
*看球的好日子*
* For a ballgame today *
*球迷都跑出来买♥♥票*
* The fans are out to get a ticket or two *
*从华华华盛顿到卡拉马祖*
* From Walla Walla, Washington, to Kalamazoo. *
我的父亲
My father?
我的酒保
My bartender?
等我埋葬的人和会埋葬我的人
The guy I'm gonna bury and the guy who's gonna bury me?
我得喝几杯才能忘了这一切
I got to drink to forget this.
但去哪里喝呢
But where?
我们要打断这场空前绝后
We interrupt the ninth inning
完美中完美的比赛第九局
of this unprecedented double perfect game
插播重大棒球新闻
for breaking baseball news.
一位同辈楷模之千里挑一的新秀将加入大联盟
A once-in-a-generation prospect is coming to the majors.
阿耶罗波斯·瓦尔科夫
统计资料
身高1.96m 体重122kg
出生地马其顿
打击率358 攻击指数1.174 投手防御率2.03
队伍 明斯克机器人
马其顿双向杰出人才
Macedonian two-way phenom,
阿耶罗波斯·瓦尔科夫
Aeropos Walkov
将要离开明斯克机器人队
will leave the Minsk Golems
以达成他毕生追求
to achieve his lifelong dream:
在美国打球
playing in the U.S.
凯文·伯克哈特 凯文·米拉
瓦尔科夫在年仅六岁的时候
Walkov developed his unique two-handed
就开♥发♥了他独特的双手球路招式
pitching style at the age of six,
当时他在帮身为村里捕鼠好手的父亲
helping his father, the village ratcatcher.
也就在那里 他开♥发♥了击球的强大爆发力
Where he also developed his immense power at the plate.
搞定
Gotti!
欢迎来到希腊
每个大联盟俱乐部都会尽可能击出一切招数
Every major league club is gonna pull out all the stops
让瓦尔科夫签字
to get Walkov to sign.
只可惜同位素棒球队拿不下瓦尔科夫这种巨星
Yeah, too bad the Topes can't land a superstar like Walkov.
再说了春田镇又不是那种上档次的城市
But Springfield ain't one of them classy cities
像费城或者阿纳海姆之类的
like, uh, Philadelphia or Anaheim.
我们要是开始赢 我的孙子可能
If we started winning, maybe my grandson
会真的跟我去看比赛
would finally go to a game with me.
好汉一口闷 唉声叹气全溜走
Suck that sigh right back into your gobble shoot.
咱们小镇就是块没人要的
So what if our city's a greased-stained
油腻腻的床垫 那又咋了
mattress graveyard?
我们的球队拥有热情又乐于奉献的粉丝
Our team's got passionate, dedicated fans.
有吗
We do?
有 咱 你个老年痴呆的肥佬
Yeah, us, you lovable bag of Alzheimer's.
我们要做的就是做个视频
What we got to do is make a video
个人呼吁这位双手投掷的
with a personal appeal to that two-handed-throwing
欧洲大脚怪加入
Euro sasquatch.
但是那些有钱的队伍也会这么做的
But all the rich teams are gonna do that, too.
是的 但是他们不知道的是
Yeah, but what they don't know is
我会说不错的马其顿语
is I speak a pretty good Macedonian.
怎么可能 你都不太会英语
How? You barely speak English.
无 意 冒 犯
No offense!
我从祖母那边学来的
Yeah, I learned it from my grandmother.
面包
你没用 你没贡献 你就是个水蛭
没人能像祖母布兰卡一样
Yeah, nobody could put a cigarette out
把烟头在你脖子后面摁灭
on the back of your neck like Baba Branka.
怎么说
So what do you say?
我们做视频吧
Let's make a video!
尼玛 没油了
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