辛普森一家

The Simpsons S36E09

Part 2 May 21, 2025, 8:41 p.m.

And we'll be back after this word from 3 Day Clams,
新鲜蛤蜊从海里到你家
fresh clams from the sea to your door
三个工作日必达
in three business days.
呕呕广播网
哕哕媒体
培达隆动感单车
听好了给老娘听仔细
Listen up and listen good.
你本人就是问题
The problem is you!
刹车
Brake!
你本人就是问题
"The problem is you."
这不是新梗中梗高梗句嘛
What a catchphrase!
我们可以从这句话开始拍一部连续剧
We could build an entire TV show out of that.
小丑阿壳俗气粗鲁没有废话"有屁直放"之
Krusty's brash, no-nonsense, "Tell it like it is" Aunt Sadie
塞迪阿姨修复破裂关系每集三十分钟
fixes broken relationships in 30 minutes?
没错就像《法官朱迪》只不过我们能赚到
Exactly. Like Judge Judy but we get the money.
我们要做的就是挑一个最重的金属感音效
All we have to do is choose the heaviest metallic sound effect
作为剧集标题出现的背景音
for when the title slams in.
《你本人就是问题》
接下来在《你本人就是问题》节目中
Coming up on The Problem Is You,
塞迪阿姨将面对她人生中最严峻的挑战
Aunt Sadie faces her toughest challenge yet.
而且我也在场
And I'm there, too!
那些笑声背后到底藏着什么呢
What's hiding behind those chuckles, hmm?
再多粉红葡萄酒也解决不了这个问题
Another glass of rosé will not fix this.
你绝对想不到最后的指责会指向谁
And you won't believe where the final finger points.
你本人就是问题
The problem is you!
绝不道歉
汽水王国
骰子游戏
老太婆牌看起来年轻了20岁
Old Maid looks 20 years younger!
爸爸我还以为你不喜欢家庭游戏夜呢
Dad, I thought you hated family game night.
不是
No.
我是讨厌和你那些邪恶讨厌的姨妈们
I hated extended family game night
一起过的大家庭游戏夜
with your evil, terrible aunts.
你能跟她们和好吗
Can you please make up with them?
我们迫切需要凑够六个人
We really need six people to play
来玩"半打山的三对搭档"
The Three Duos of Half-Dozen Mountain.
半打山的三对搭档
亲爱的如果我能施展魔法
Honey, if I could wave a magic wand
让帕蒂和塞尔玛变得不那么讨厌我早就做了
and make Patty and Selma not suck, I would.
但我们还是尽量习惯以后再也见不到她们吧
But it's probably best we get used to never seeing them again.
是她们 -马姬呢她还好吗
Them! - Where's Marge? Is she okay?
她发短♥信♥说她在清理排水沟时从屋顶摔下来了
She texted us she fell off the roof cleaning the gutters.
我撒了个谎才把你们聚在一起
I lied about that to get you all here together.
不过我确实清理了排水沟
I did clean the gutters, though.
我也确实从屋顶掉下来了
And I did fall off the roof.
这么多年过去了
After all these years,
很明显我无法让你们三个人停止争吵
it's obvious I can't get the three of you to stop fighting.
但我觉得我找到了能做到的人
But I think I found someone who can.
侯默帕蒂塞尔玛
Homer, Patty, Selma,
等我调解完
by the time I'm done with you,
你们就又会亲如一家了
you'll be as close as a family can be.
亲爱的马姬这场家庭争执的人物原因事件
Marge, dear, what's the who, why and how
到底是怎样的
of this family row?
说来话长
Well, it's complicated.
我恨混♥蛋♥ 她们恨酷男
I hate jerks, and they hate cool guys.
回答完毕
End of story.
我们一开始就不喜欢彼此
We didn't like each other from the start.
但那次重要的婴儿洗礼派对上事情变糟了
But things got really ugly at that fateful baby shower.
宝贝男孩
我们希望那一天对我们的妹妹来说是完美的
We wanted that day to be perfect for our sister.
本来是的 -直到那个傻子
And it was. - Until this idiot
把我们交给他的唯一一件事搞砸了
botched the one and only job we'd given him.
蛋糕来了
I got the cake!
我们说的是胡萝卜蛋糕
We said a carrot cake!
我知道但巧克力味的我和马姬最爱吃了
I know. But chocolate is me and Marge's favorite.
幸亏我带了备用的胡萝卜蛋糕
Luckily I brought a backup carrot cake
我就知道这个"怀孕高手"
because I knew the Impreginator here
会搞砸
would screw it up.
祝贺你
马姬
你们这对破坏土地的母夜叉
You undermining land hags!
怎么了
What's the matter?
你告诉这些叛徒
You tell these traitors
你最喜欢的是巧克力蛋糕
that your favorite cake is chocolate
你讨厌胡萝卜蛋糕
and that you despise carrot cake
它不过是加了糖霜的花♥园♥沙拉
because it's a garden salad with frosting!
没关系没关系的请别再争了
It's fine. It's fine. Please don't fight.
看到了吗两种我都喜欢
See? See? I like both cakes.
她才不是呢
No, she doesn't!
给我吃错蛋糕
Eat wrong cake!
就在那一刻我意识到
It was at that moment I realized
唯一的解决办法就是从此以后让我的丈夫
the only solution was to keep my husband and sisters separated
和我的姐姐们分开
from then on.
那马姬到底谁对
So, Marge, who was right?
你最喜欢的蛋糕口味是哪种
What is your favorite cake flavor?
哪个都不是我喜欢香草的只要香草味
It's neither! I like vanilla! Only vanilla!
味道越淡越好
The less flavor, the better.
香草是巧克力的反义词
Vanilla is the opposite of chocolate!
胡萝卜是蛋糕的反义词
Carrot is the opposite of cake!
马姬遇到你毁了她的一生
Marge ruined her life when she met you!
闭嘴我受够了你们吵吵叨叨
Shut up! I've heard enough of your bip-da-bip-da-bip!
你们三个让我恶心
You three disgust me.
希望你们走路被空调砸
May you walk under a falling air conditioner.
也就是说真正的问题
That said, the problem...
是你
is you!
我
Me?
我怎么会是问题呢
How can I be the problem?
我可是想和稀泥的马姬啊
I'm the Marge of this!
拜托
Oh, please.
如果你真的想要和平应该停止继续干涉
If you actually wanted peace, you'd stop interfering.
让这三个疯子们自己去商量
Let these three lunatics work out their mishegoss
达成协议才是
among themselves.
我♥干♥嘛希望他们争斗呢
Why on earth would I want them to fight?
方便你做假圣人呗
So you could be the martyr.
你让他们彼此不通气所以他们不会停止争斗
You keep them separated so they won't stop fighting.
上帝不允许他们和解也不允许知道真♥相♥的人
God forbid they should ever bury the hatchet and, who knows...
成为朋友
become friends.
因为这样圣人马姬就没舞台表演了
Because then St. Marge doesn't get to run the show.
灯
Lamp.
这是我听过最离谱的事了
That's the craziest thing I ever heard!
我可是最好的人
I'm the nicest!
我爱所有人
I love everyone!
出去都给我出去
Out! Out! Out, out! Get out!
我撤销所有同意拍摄的弃权书
I un-sign all the waivers!
走开
Shh, shoo, shoo, shoo!
《你本人就是问题》拍摄组
这就是演出这行的意义是吧摄影师韦恩
This is what showbiz is all about, huh, Wayne the Grip?
同志之爱
The camaraderie.
你怎么知道我名字的
Why do you know my name?
请别开除我
Please don't fire me.
我还得支持我继子的非法街头赛车之爱好
I need to support my stepson's illegal street racing habit.
放轻松我吸水果电子烟的朋友
Relax, my fruit-vaping friend.
我跟你一样
I'm just like you...
也是剧组家庭的一员
a member of the crew family.
真的吗你之前一直一副受不了我们这些
Really? You always seemed like you couldn't stand
成本中心的人
us below-the-line guys.
我受不了的是
What I can't stand
那些过时的好莱坞表达
is that old-fashioned Hollywood expression.
为什么那些所谓的"天才"
Why should there be some imaginary line separating
和像你这样努力工作的小人物间
the so-called "Talent"
要有一道想象出来的分界线呢
from the hardworking riffraff like you?
如果可以的话我会让这条界线不复存在
If I could, I'd make it so the line never existed.
那样做真的很酷伙计
That's pretty cool of you, man.
我这周末要为剧组成员们举办小龙虾煮宴
You know, I'm hosting a crawfish boil this weekend for the crew.
你也来吧
You should come.
你是邀请我
You're inviting me
去参加你的那个吗