辛普森一家
The Simpsons S36E04
Part 1
Nov. 5, 2024, 10:39 a.m.
人们说女人就像苏打水
They say women are like soda water.
苏打水
威士忌
搭配上一加仑威士忌才更美味
They go better with a gallon of scotch.
天气炎热的时候 我们就猛喝
And when the weather's hot, we drink a lot.
肖恩的移♥动♥仙人掌卖♥♥场
有时候天气实在太热
And sometimes it's so hot,
人们得开窗户透气
people open their windows to let the air in
但秘密也随之被透露了出去
and their secrets out.
不要
No.
不要走 你们的小细腿太酷了
No, don't go. Your tiny feet are so cool.
等等 我知道该去哪里了
Wait, I know a place to go,
那里的人们总抱怨说太冷了
where the people always say it's too cold.
春田养老院
别抢我的空调管
Get your own cooling duct!
太经典了 我这一生
Typical. My entire life,
你就没为我做过什么好事
you've never done one nice thing for me,
而我一直是体贴有爱的
and I'm always kind and loving.
要么把空调对着我 要么就给你换个烂房♥间
So redirect that A/C or we're moving you to a worse home.
没有更烂的房♥间了
There is no worse home.
老兵住的那间怎么样
I mean the one they put veterans in.
你这怪物 虐待老人了
You monster! Elder abuse!
怎么来这么慢
What took you so long?
不知道你这话什么意思
I'm not sure what you're talking about,
亚伯·爷爷·辛普森
Abe "Grampa" Simpson,
我们需要你协助调查
but we need your help with an investigation.
现在
And I mean now.
影橡墓园
在此得到安息
赖得·弗兰德斯
死于霍乱
蕾切尔·克拉斯托夫斯基
死于霍乱
沃特尔·斯普可勒爵士
死于霍乱
滴酒不沾希斯拉克
死于霍乱
铁公鸡春田
死于麻疹
以及霍乱
为什么要挖这些可怜人的坟墓
They're digging up these poor people's graves?
别担心 他们要建一座纪念碑
Now, don't worry. They're putting up a monument
来缅怀这些横死的灵魂
to the suffering of these unfortunate souls.
即将开幕
霍乱之坑
时尚广场
我们来这干什么
What are we doing here?
我们来这是因为他们挖出的一个棺材
We're here because when they dug up one grave,
里面有见不得人的东西
they saw something no one should see.
来吧孩子们 带你看看 拿好手♥机♥
Come on, kids, let me show you. Get your phones.
1982年死的
有人往这里塞了第二具尸体
Somebody snuck a second body in here.
在这具尸体上 我们找到了这个
And on that extra body, we found this.
辛普森和奥唐纳
"Simpson and O'Donnell,
私♥人♥侦♥探♥
"Private investigators.
请找艾伯
Ask for Abe"?
辛普森和奥唐纳
侦探事务所
爷爷 你以前是私♥人♥侦♥探♥吗
Grampa, you were a private detective?
你找袜子都要找一小时
Takes you an hour to find your socks.
行了韦根 要看的也给我看过了
All right, Wiggum, you showed me what you wanted to show me.
在这个国家 人们想说什么说什么
Now, in this country, a man can say what he wants
想做什么做什么
and do what he wants.
除了在大学校园里
Except on college campuses,
那地方有的可以说有的不行
where you can say some things but not others
但没个准谱
and it's unclear which.
你随时可以离开 只要你解释清楚
Hey, you can leave anytime, after you explain
为什么名片会在尸体上
how your business card got on that body.
我可以配合 但必须回我房♥间
Fine, I'll talk, but only at the home,
有护工 还有召唤护工的按钮
with a nurse call button nearby.
这些跟这事有什么关系吗
Those things aren't even hooked up.
我的锻炼就靠按按钮了
Pushing the button is my exercise.
看到没
See?
辛普森和奥唐纳
侦探事务所
以前从来没见过这部分
Oh, I never saw that part before.
你觉得今天很热吗
You think it's hot today?
跟82年的夏天比起来完全不值一提
It's nothing compared to the summer of '82.
就像住在太阳里面开着热气
It was like living inside the sun with the heat on.
辛普森和奥唐纳
侦探事务所
邮件
比利和我已经做了好多年的搭档了
Billy and me had been partners for a couple of years.
工作有很多
There was plenty of work.
离婚案 滑轮阻拦赛肇事逃逸
Divorce cases, roller derby hit-and-runs.
但是话说这一天过的非常慢
But this particular day was mighty slow.
漂亮 你应该进NBA
Ah, nice shot. You should be in the NBA.
你也是老伙计 你穿短短裤老好看了
You, too, pal. You look great in short shorts.
你是说现在八零年代大家都穿的短短裤吗
You mean the shorts that everybody wears now in the '80s?
接着她进门了
Then she came in.
我本来想找个侦探
I was looking for a detective,
但似乎我找到了一个互相钦佩的团体
but it seems I found a mutual admiration society.
你是来加入我们的吗
Are you here to join?
首先我得钦佩你
First I'd have to admire you.
我是爱涅·史金纳
I'm Agnes Skinner,
我要你跟踪我男朋友
and I want you to follow my boyfriend.
谁是你男朋友
Who's your boyfriend?
一个有钱秃头的秃鹫 叫蒙哥马利·伯恩斯
A rich bald vulture by the name of Montgomery Burns.
我觉得他出轨了
Well, I think he's cheating on me
找了个更年轻更性感的
with someone younger and sexier.
我不信你这故事 -哪部分
I don't buy your story. - Which part?
竟然有人比你更年轻更性感这部分
The part where there's someone younger and sexier than you.
这里突然真的燥热起来
It just got really hot in here.
帮我擦一下
Towel me off?
你是我的新妈妈吗
Are you my new mommy?
因为我被欠了好多次睡前晚安
'Cause I'm owed a lot of tucking in.
爸爸 现在很忙 儿子
Uh, Daddy's, uh, busy, son.
不如你去玩这些手铐
Wh-Why don't you play with these handcuffs?
天哪
Oh, boy.
如果你要照顾小孩
If you're babysitting,
我只能把业务交给别处了
I guess I'll take my business elsewhere.
慢着 慢着 等一下
Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
如果我跟爱涅先走
What if I go with Agnes,
就像先去踩踩点之类的 怎么样
you know, and kind of check things out?
可以 但是记着 你代表事务所
Okay, but remember, you're representing the firm,
表现专业点
so act professional.
太好了
Ah, yes.
我没有新妈妈吗
Oh, I don't get a new mommy?
我给你又当爹又当妈 儿子
I'll be your daddy and your mommy, son.
现在安静点 让我清静一下
Now be quiet and leave me alone.
就是那么一回事
And that was that.
如果你搞完了 今天是木薯周二
Now if you're finished, it's Tapioca Tuesday
我特别想吃平淡无奇凹凸不平的东西
and I'm jonesing for something bland and lumpy.
木薯 木薯
Tapioca. Tapioca.
慢点开 汉弗莱·老头乐
Slow down, there, Humphrey Go-kart.
你搭档回来之后说什么
What did your partner say when he got back?
啥也没说 也不奇怪 因为他一直没回来
Nothing, which isn't surprising, because he never came back.
一直没回来 你做了什么
Never came back? What did you do?
整了新业务名片
Got new business cards.
亚伯·辛普森&没别人 私♥家♥侦♥探♥
"Abe Simpson and nobody, private investigators."
亚伯·辛普森&没别人
私♥家♥侦♥探♥
欢迎致电KL5-0101
我一点都不惊讶
I'm not surprised.
我老爸从来不为任何人做任何事
My dad never does anything for anybody.
侯默 让警♥察♥来审问你老爸
Homer, let the policemen give your dad the third degree.
韦警长 我bb完了
Wiggum, I'm done singing.
但还有最后一句返场 滚粗
But here's an encore for you: get lost!
是吗 要不我们把你
Oh, yeah? How'd you like it if we put you
扔进灯泡都快不亮的审讯室
in an interrogation room with a bare light bulb,
没有卫生间 坐着不稳的冰冷硬板凳
no bathroom and a cold steel chair with an uneven leg?
我会说那算升舱了
I'd call that an upgrade.
行 我们这就走 暂时
Okay, fine, we'll leave. For now.
但我正式宣布你是嫌疑人
But I am officially declaring you a person of interest.
老爷子天了噜 你终于变有趣了
Wow, Grampa, you're finally interesting.
我们一起玩吧
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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