辛普森一家
The Simpsons S33E15
Part 2
April 7, 2022, 10:28 a.m.
新款腌制炸鸡汉堡
我必须阻止巴仔退回那双假鞋
I got to stop bart from returning those fake sneakers.
阿壳汉堡
腌制炸鸡堡
别 别 别
"No no no no no!"
播 播 播
谢了爸 这就开播
Thanks, dad, it is on.
我是巴仔·辛普森 我要捉弄一下
Bart Simpson here, about to clown some fools
卖♥♥给我垃圾运动鞋的人
Who sold me some crappy sneakers.
这双鞋就是垃圾 我要退款
These shoes are trash. I want my money back.
真的卡里飞二号♥不是用垃圾做的
Uh, real caliphate twos aren't made from garbage.
是用升级改造的可回收垃圾桶的纯素皮革做的
They're vegan leather made from upcycled recycling bins.
慢着 什么
Wait, what?
这些是假货
These are fakes.
你是想退款盗版运动鞋
You're trying to return bootleg sneakers.
你不能拍我 我要拍你
You can't record me... i'm recording you.
嗨呀 肖娜粉丝团
What up, shauna nation?
一如既往 我是肖娜
As always, I'm shauna.
看看这个傻缺 想退冒牌货
Look at this idiot, trying to return a knock-off.
个人简介里有链接赢取免费可食用眼影哦
Link in my bio to win free edible eyeshadow.
他们不是冒牌货
They're not fake.
我老爸排了很久队才买♥♥到的 还花了很多钱
My dad waited in line for these shoes and spent a lot of money.
侯默·辛普森永远不会对自己儿子撒谎
And homer simpson would never lie to his son
只是为了别再排大队
Just to get out of standing in li...
天哪 他给我买♥♥了冒牌鞋
Oh, my god, he bought me fake shoes.
巴仔 别退鞋子
Bart, don't return the shoes!
这只是一场梦
This is just a dream.
醒醒 巴仔 醒醒
wake up, Bart. Wake up.
你怎么可以
How could you?
我永远不会比现在更感到尴尬了
I will never be more embarrassed than I am right now.
我们 看见 内内 喽
We have underpants.
你彻底毁了我
You've ruined me!
按赞订阅不迷路哟
Please like and subscribe.
傻♥比♥侯默 把我变成了动图
Stupid homer. Turned me into a gif.
我去
Oh, man.
你还引领舞蹈新时尚了
You're even a dance. It's called
叫做"内♥裤♥娃希米舞"
The "pants kid shimmy."
到处都有
It's everywhere!
好好玩
So fun!
儿啊 我给你做了张道歉卡
Son, I got you this apology card.
在封面上的鸭子 他觉得
The duck, you know, on the front, he thinks
我做的事情纯属扯蛋 他可能是对的
What I did was "quackers," and maybe he's right.
别再跟我说话了
Don't ever talk to me again!
我想啥呢 相信你会把我变酷
What was I thinking, trusting you to help me look cool?
你是所有人中最逊的
You're the least cool person who ever lived.
可那也包括了喜剧明星乌克尔
But that includes Urkel.
你秃头 有一只保龄球
You're bald. You own a bowling ball.
你有卡车螺帽但没有卡车
You own truck nuts but no truck.
你看了好几遍蒂姆·艾伦的脱口秀
You've seen Tim Allen's standup multiple times.
你还有一个光碟收纳盒
You still have a cd tower.
而你三个孩子
And each one your three kids
每个都因为你不同方式地感到尴尬
Is embarrassed by you in a different way.
你天生就不酷
You were born uncool
四十年来的每一天
And every day for four decades,
你都变得越来越不酷
You've gotten less cool.
我知道我不是史蒂芬·厄凯尔
I know I'm not exactly Stefan Urquelle,
但你不觉得你老爸至少有一点点酷吗
But didn't you ever think your old man was a little cool?
从没感觉 一点没有
Never. Not one bit.
不好意思打扰了 我在找巴仔·辛普森
I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for Bart Simpson.
奥利安·休斯
Orion Hughes!
我发现你恶意批判的诗歌♥评论
I found your critically-maligned book of poetry
出奇意外地感动人
to be weirdly moving.
我以为诗歌♥很难 其实没有
Yeah, I thought poetry would be hard, but it wasn't.
我知道你 你配音了
I know you. You're the voice
直播动作类海底总动员的
Of the urban squid from the live-action
城市鱿鱼
Finding nemo.
巴仔 我想向你道歉
Bart, I wanted to apologize
我的员工那样羞辱你
For the way my employees shamed you.
你听说那事了
You heard about that?
我今天在艾伦秀上看到那段舞
ooh, I saw that dance on Ellen today.
你不知道鞋子是冒牌的
You didn't know the shoes were fake.
为了补偿你被全球羞辱
To make up for your global humiliation,
我给你全家带了些免费滑博瑞滑雪套装
I brought your family some free slipreme skatewear.
新的滑雪板
Whoa, new skateboards!
去拿个板 我看看你的能耐
Grab a board, show me what you got.
当然我也想
Uh, I'd love to, of course.
但我跟斯利姆·吉姆公♥司♥约好了
But the thing is, I have a deal with Slim Jim.
不拿着绿山咖啡的腊肠卷我是不能滑的
I can't skate unless I'm holding a Dr. Pepper salami twister.
就豚跳过马路牙子
Come on, just ollie off the curb.
豚跳 就是扔滑板的动作对吧
Ollie? Oh, yeah, that's the move where you throw it, right?
豚跳
Ollie!
你开着滑板服装店竟然不会滑滑板
You own a skatewear company and you don't know how to skate?
求你别跟别人说
Please don't tell anyone.
兄弟别担心
Hey, dude, no worries.
这样吧 我教你
You know what? I can teach you to skate.
但如果我不是一学就特别会呢
But what if I'm not instantly amazing at it?
我听说过这种事
I've heard that can happen.
脚上板 屈膝
Okay, feet on the board, bend your knees,
找到重心
find your center...
看到了吗 你做到了
See? You're doing it!
我做到了 我是真会
I'm doing it. I-I'm authentic.
我可太真了
No one's ever been this real.
小心别摔了
Don't fall down!
什么是"摔"
What's "falling down"?
这是我的血
That's-that's my blood.
我还从没见过
I've never seen it before.
太酷了 再玩一次
So cool. Let's go again.
帮我拿一下鳄梨酱 话题标签鳄梨酱攻击
Can you pass the guacamole, #guacattack?
话题标签鳄梨酱换了玉米片吗
#newchipsontheguac?
你最近总在加话题标签
You're hashtagging a lot lately.
巴仔说你老土又怎么样
So Bart called you uncool, big deal.
追逐潮流是徒劳的
Chasing after coolness is futile,
因为酷本身就是随意
because the definition is both arbitrary
且不停变化的
and constantly changing.
人家还是想加话题标签嘛
Mm, still want to be it.
裹着脆皮玉米片的饼得从边上吃
With hard shell tacos, you've got to bite them
像我这样
from the bottom, like this.
为什么
Why?!
我怎么总买♥♥脆皮玉米片
Why do I keep buying hard shells?
我讨厌它们
I hate them!
我要去老谋子那了
Uh, I'm going to Moe's.
至少穿件干净衣服
At least put on a clean shirt.
侯默 来看看
Homer. Check it out...
我这有顶级和牛牛排
I'm selling Premium wagyu-style steaks.
支持72个月订购服务
The 72-month subscription plan...
会送你一个真座机电♥话♥
It comes with a genuine landline phone.
我太沮丧了 听不懂你在说什么
I'm too depressed to figure out what you're saying.
滑博瑞帽衫
That's a slipreme hoodie.
甚至是真货 不像这驴排
And that ain't even a knock-off like these donkey steaks.
我得发个动态
I got to post this.
哇 也有人会传我的照片
Whoa, someone posted a picture of me,
而且不是因为摔下电梯
and it it's not for falling down an escalator
或朝着停车计时器大叫
or yelling at a parking meter.
也就是说我现在
Which means I must be...
很酷 没错 你就是新潮流
Cool. Yes, you are now cool.
我被赞了
I've been liked.
有人爱看我
Someone enjoyed looking at me.
终于尝到时尚的滋味了
Finally, I know how it feels to be stylish.
他们喜欢我的外表
To be loved for my appearance
而不是评价我的行为
Instead of judged for my actions.
原来这就是别人不止一身衣服的原因
This is why people own more than one outfit.
谢谢你 麦克·韦格曼
Thank you, Mike Wegman!
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The Simpsons
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