辛普森一家
The Simpsons S33E14
Part 3
April 7, 2022, 10:28 a.m.
Oh sure, the club's at capacity
俱乐部就满员是吧
as soon as the short guy shows up.
我懂了 我很生气
I get it, and I'm pissed-o!
你们没给本矮子留蓝莓松饼吗
Oh, so you don't have any blueberry muffins left
我要生气了
for the short man? I'm pissed-o!
我... 意识到
I do... realize you only agreed
你愿意跟我白头到老只是因为
to spend the rest of your life with me
我很矮 我真的生气了
because I'm short, and it's pissing-me-o!
IG日常
柯克·范浩腾 又名"果汁盒老爹"
Kirk van houten, aka "juice box dad."
拜托 没出息教练 你不想赢吗
Come on, coach loser, don't you want to win?
快让... 我儿子... 退赛
Take... my son... out... of the game!
哈哈 我也分享过那个视频
Oh, yeah, I shared that.
果汁盒老爹
Juice box dad.
等等 我跟你们这群渣滓混在一起
Wait, how am I supposed to revive my reputation
还怎么恢复名誉啊
associating with these scum?
你看低谁呢
Watch who you're calling short.
有人要生气喽
Whoa, somebody's pissed-o.
Siri 打给911
Siri, call 911.
听着 大家都先平静一下
Look, everyone, let's just calm down.
不然呢 你会把我们从彩色玻璃窗推出去吗
Or what? You'll push us out a stained glass window?
那只是一次愤怒后的意外
Hey! That was just a careless accident born out of rage.
确定我们找对人了吗
Are we sure we have the right people for this team?
他们很糟糕
They're awful.
完美符合此次任务
Which is why they're perfect for this mission.
协会
在协会里 我们坚信
Here at the institute, we believe
正能量的工作能抵消那些不愉快
good works overcome bad days.
所以 为了恢复你们的荣誉
So, to fix your reputations,
你们小分队要做一些公益慈善活动
your team will be doing public acts of charity.
到时候发网上
When we post them online,
你们那些罪过都会变成遥远的记忆
they will make your transgressions a distant memory.
我们几个一起吗
Work together?
抱歉 我跟他们合作不来
Sorry, I don't exactly play well with others.
好吧 那我们先
Okay, then we'll spend the day
搞点团建活动
doing a bunch of team-building improve exercises.
做善事 做善事
Good deeds! Good deeds!
*我真傻 替你干这种肮脏勾当*
*I'm a fool to do your dirty work*
*哦耶*
*Oh, yeah*
IG日常
清理湖中垃圾
*我不想*
*I don't wanna do*
*再为你干脏活*
*Your dirty work*
*不想再干*
*No more*
斗音【
植树
*我真傻 替你干这种肮脏勾当*
*I'm a fool to do your dirty work*
*哦耶*
*Oh, yeah*
社交媒体网
擦除涂鸦
做了这些精心策划的善举
I can feel my reputation being restored
感觉我的名誉在渐渐恢复
with each carefully-staged good deed.
看 是网上那群招恨的人
Look, it's the people the internet told us to hate.
他们还是恨我们 这计划行不通啊
They still hate us. The plan isn't working.
现在我们怎么办 打911吗
What do we do now? Call 911?
不幸的是 这是能让你们
Unfortunately, that was the only way
生活回归平静的唯一办法了
to get you your lives back.
倒还有个办法 不 不能那样做
Well, there is one other way. No, we can't.
-是什么 -不行 太激进了
- What? - No, it's too radical.
却又是绝对有效的唯一办法
Ah, but it's the only thing that's 100% guaranteed to work.
听起来确实挺激进
Hmm, yeah, it does sound pretty radical.
谢谢你的坦诚
Thanks for being honest about that.
但有时只有激进
Well, sometimes the only way to get results
才能成功
is through radical action.
抱歉 我们投了下票 太激进了
Sorry, we took a vote. It's too radical.
我还没说是什么呢
Wh... I didn't even tell you what it is yet.
一句"激进"就够了 后会无期
When you said "radical," you said enough. Bye forever.
等等 我以为说它激进
Look, I thought that by calling it radical,
你们会更愿意去做呢
you'd be more likely to want to do it.
话语诱导那种
Like you'd be intrigued or something.
诱导吗 接着说
Intrigued, eh?
大家齐聚在协会
You are all here at the institute...
协会
协会
因为你们在人生最糟的那天被网络曝光
...because of the humiliation you faced
从此蒙受屈辱
after the world saw you on your worst day.
文件未找到
但是 如果你可以
But, what if you could delete all that
从地球上的每台电脑 手♥机♥ 模因
from every computer, every phone, every meme,
甚至硬盘上删除一切呢
and even every personal hard drive on earth?
这不可能
But that's impossible.
你得新发明点什么东西
You'd have to invent something to do that.
文件未找到
通用根除代码
真有意思
Funny you say that.
我已经发明了
I did invent something to do that.
一个通用根除代码 可以从全互联网
A universal eradication code that can completely scrub
根除任何图像或视频
any image or video from the entire internet.
给我们用用 就现在
Scrub us. You scrub us right now!
我会的 但首先我得把代码
Oh, I would, but first I need to upload the code
上传到一个强大到
into the one server powerful enough
能覆盖整个互联网的服务器上
to reach every corner of the world wide web.
由密友网支持
密友网
Chumnet.
那个在所有网站底部
You mean the company that puts those annoying
放烦人诱导链接的公♥司♥
clickbait-y headlines on the bottom of every website?
对 它无处不在
Yes, they're everywhere.
由密友网支持
你不再听说文斯·沃恩的真正原因
你不该看到的失败婚礼照片
死前一定要尝的十种奶酪
密友网岛屿
没有影响力更大的平台
No platform has greater reach.
但要上传代码到他们的服务器
But to upload the scrub code into their servers,
我需要你们闯入密友网总部
I need you to break in to the Chumnet headquarters.
闯入 听起来很危险
Break in? That sounds dangerous.
是的 海伦
It is, Helen.
这就是我提过的激进部分
That was the radical part I mentioned earlier,
你们似乎都没懂
that didn't seem to land with any of you.
激进 是吗
Radical, eh?
我们没什么可失去的
Yeah, we don't have anything to lose.
我们有点像自杀小队
So, we're kind of like a suicide squad.
你们就是自杀小队
You're exactly kind of like a suicide squad.
怎么样
What do you say?
我觉得我们能搞定
I think we can pull this-o.
放手做吧
I say we do it.
我们要为彼此而战 我们是家人
We need to fight for each other, because we're a family.
一个我不想要也不需要的家庭
A family I don't want or need.
我想念我真正的家人 我们开始吧
I miss my actual family, so let's do this.
好
Okay!
但如果我们要执行突击任务
But if we're going on a commando mission,
不是需要一些训练吗
don't we need some sort of training?
没发现吗
Don't you see?
你们已经受过训了
You've already had some sort of training.
水上训练
*我真傻 替你干这种肮脏勾当*
*I'm a fool to do your dirty work*
挖掘训练
*我不想干♥你♥的肮脏勾当*
*I don't wanna do your dirty work*
*不想再干*
*No more*
攀岩训练
*我真傻 替你干这种肮脏勾当*
*I'm a fool to do your dirty work*
我们进来了
We're in.
好的 在找到
Okay, just stay focused
服务器室之前集中注意力
until you find the Chumnet server room.
里面的人怎么办
What about all the people in there?
这里没有人 只有诱导链接
There are no people. Just clickbait.
不论如何 不要停下来点击任何东西
So whatever you do, don't stop to click on anything.
你的健身教练都是美貌成人
15张窒息死前拍摄的照片
男子送女友毛衣 接下来发生的事妙绝
下次使用订书机前必须知道的事
未来水世界的小女孩大变样
谁会相信这种垃圾呢
Who falls for this garbage anyway?
等等 所以她现在长什么样
Wait, what does she look like now?
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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