辛普森一家
The Simpsons S33E02
Part 2
Nov. 9, 2021, 11:27 a.m.
你哪儿来的这么多钱
Where the hell did you get that kind of money,
你个风烛残年肉丸厂老头
you broken-down old meatball man?
那是我二十年攒的克里比奇牌戏奖金
It's 20 years of my cribbage winnings,
一直藏在烟盒里
saved up in a cigar box.
本来打算留给你的 这下全没了
I was gonna leave it to you, and now it's all gone.
不 不
No. No.
不要
No!
我本来有一笔遗产但你却给了别人
I had an inheritance and you gave it away?
我气到想杀了你
I'm so mad I could kill you,
但既然现在我什么都得不到
but now I'd get nothing.
我希望你能永生
I hope you live forever!
现在朗读亚伯拉罕·J·辛普森
Now to read abraham j. Simpson's
遗嘱内容
final will and testament.
我还活着的儿女们
To my surviving Homers,
我留给你们一万块
I leave you $10,000
这钱从未向你们提起过
that I never told you about...
但后来被骗走了
...but then I lost it all to a scam.
所以因为我是个白♥痴♥
So, because I'm a moron,
所以什么都没留下
I leave you nothing.
我的一万块
Ten thousand dollars!
又梦到了吗
That dream again?
我的钱没了 没了
The money's gone, gone.
不知道的钱 怎么能叫没了呢
But how can you miss money you never knew you had?
最讨厌的就是明明你会得到那笔钱
That's the worst part to find out you got money,
但被搞没了 所以那笔钱是你的
but you lost money, so you have it,
但你得不到
but you don't have it.
一说起来我就头晕
Oh, it's giving me whipcash.
如果有了那一万我的生活
Just think of all the ways my life could have been better
本可以更好
with that ten grand.
最后通知
全部付清
春田小学返校夜
来见见你孩子霸凌孩子的单亲家长
所以我们要求每个家庭捐五十块
So, uh, we're asking each family to chip in $50
来买♥♥个新募款温度计
for a new fundraising thermometer.
五十块 我当然会捐了
Oh, yeah, 50 bucks... I would totally donate that
如果我爸没丢那一万
if my father hadn't given away $10,000!
钱数是估算的
Um, it's just a suggested amount.
当然了 一万块对你们老师来说也许不多
Sure, ten grand might not sound like much to you teachers,
但我宁愿选择继承一万
but I choose inheriting $10,000
也不会去赚一百万
over earning a million.
你们都会这么做的
And all of you would do the same!
侯默 别在这发泄
Homer, not here.
因为两代之间的财富是最纯洁的
Because generational wealth is the purest,
最神圣的钱
most sacred kind of money there is.
但我爸被一个无比弱智的骗局骗了
But my father fell for some super-obvious scam
因为他脑子里装的全是土豆泥粉
because his brain is made of powdered mashed potatoes.
所以 我是不会捐的
So, no, I will not be donating.
马姬 我妈也遇到过这种情况
Marge, if I may, I-I dealt with a similar situation
她接了个电♥话♥
with my mother. She got a phone call
声称一些玩朋克摇滚的扬言要把我
claiming punk rockers were threatening to cut my hair
剃成莫西干头 那是种很奇特的发型
into a mohawk, which is a distinctive hairstyle...
我知道莫西干头是什么
I know what it is.
这个地方帮到了我们
This place got us through it.
骗术
支持与关怀被骗局困扰的成年人
这真是雪中送炭
This could be just what we need.
抱歉 没打算给你
Oh, uh, sorry, that's not for you to keep.
我没有多少名片
I don't get many business cards.
春田社区活动中心
今夜骗术会议
将此链接发送给十个朋友得免费T恤
自助小组吗 在我们那个年代如果遭遇耻辱
Group therapy? In my day, we dealt with horrible shame
是会喝个烂醉 然后无意中闯入流浪汉营地
by getting blind drunk, stumbling into a hobo camp
找他们帮主单挑的
and fighting their king.
起到的效果也很随机
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
就去试试 亚伯
Just give it a try, Abe.
这里会让你明白自己并不孤单
It'll help to know that you're not alone.
干得漂亮马姬
Nice, marge.
让老爹坐在可悲的哭哭集♥会♥上
Making dad sit through a pathetic sob-fest
跟同样的废柴一起 简直是完美惩罚
With his fellow losers is the perfect punishment.
你也有个小组
There's a group for you, too.
诈骗受害家庭
支持受诈骗的家庭
我希望自己从没给建造这座社区中心投票
I... wish I never voted to build this community center.
我应该知道按揭贷方
I should have known mortgage lenders
不会接受苹果蜂的礼物卡
don't take applebee's gift cards.
他说如果我不把钱汇到能源公♥司♥
He said if I didn't wire the money to the power company,
他们就把我的电力关闭
they'd shut off my electricity.
我就是能源公♥司♥
I am the power company.
网恋皆是坑
Catfished. Ooh!
现在看来也太明显了
Now it seems so obvious
我永远不可能在网络论♥坛♥上
that I would never meet the real Melissa Joan Hart
遇到真正的梅利莎·琼·哈特
In a online billiards forum.
这些罪犯瞄准我们内心的善
These criminals target the good in all of us,
所以第一步是深呼吸
So the first step is to take a deep breath
原谅我们自己
and forgive ourselves.
我妈妈花钱雇黑客追回被偷的电脑照片
My mother paid hackers to return her stolen computer photos.
它们并没有被偷 它们被备份在
They weren't gone. They were backed up
云端 多宝箱 时间机器
To the cloud, dropbox, time machine...
那一类的全部都有
Things of that nature.
听好了 这是你永远不该跟受害者说的话
Now, these are the things you should never say to a victim.
"我永远不会上这种当"
"i would never have fallen for that,"
"谁都知道那是诈骗"
"everyone knows about that scam,"
还有"你那会儿在想什么呢"
And "what were you thinking?"
我永远不会上这种当
I would have never fallen for that!
谁都知道那是诈骗
Everyone knows about that scam!
你那会儿在想什么呢
What were you thinking?!
不 那不是我的错
No, it wasn't my fault.
互助小组教会我不必感到羞愧
This group taught me not to feel shame.
我正在走向治愈和自我赋权
I'm on a path of healing and self-empowerment.
你最好没在这么做
You better not be.
好了 我们应该对像他这样的欺侮者说什么
Now, what do we say to shamers like him?
欺侮即责备
Shaming is blaming.
是的 完全同意
Yes, 100% agree!
你怎么能这样对待爷爷
How could you treat grampa like that?
你自认为很聪明 你真的以为
You think you're so smart. Do you really think
同样的事情不会发生在你身上吗
the same thing wouldn't have happened to you?
我吗 绝不可能
Me? Impossible.
我过于机智
I'm too savvy.
如此机智 瞧见没
This savvy! see?
老爸 谁都会被骗的 即便是我
Dad, anyone can get scammed. Even me.
我付钱给恶霸买♥♥提内♥裤♥保险
I paid the bullies for wedgie insurance.
但是我被提内♥裤♥的那一瞬间 砰
But the minute I got a wedgie, bam!
我得到了豁免 但第二下提内♥裤♥
I got hit with a deductible... another wedgie!
我的赔率就上去了
And my rates went up.
这就是为什么我从来不买♥♥保险
That's why I never get any insurance.
我收到一封邮件说我有资格
I got an email saying I qualified
参加萨克斯青少年奥林匹克竞赛
for the saxophone junior olympics,
但我点了链接 手♥机♥就被黑了
but when I clicked the link, they hacked my phone
还偷走了我的可听积分
And stole my audible listener credits.
你点了链接
You clicked the link?
太好笑了 谁会真的点链接啊
That's so... who clicks the link?
连小孩都会被骗
Even children are being scammed?
这世上的坏人可能比我想的要多
Well, maybe there's a few more bad apples than I thought.
但我还是得相信大部分人是好的
But I still have to believe the barrel is mostly good.
马姬 我好嫉妒你那可爱的天真
Oh, Marge, how I envy your sweet innocence.
这个世界就是鱼龙混杂 都是血盆大口的鲨鱼
The world is a blender full of sharks set on extra teeth.
你得像我一样 永远警惕
So you got to be like me... always on guard
这样才不会当个傻瓜
so you're never a sucker.
给侯默·辛普森的快递
Delivery for homer simpson.
你为什么买♥♥这么多刀
Why'd you buy all these knives?
他们不是刀 而是刀具的未来
They're not knives. They're the future of cutlery.
把它们跟别的一起放到车♥库♥
Put 'em in the garage with the others.
别的
Others?
剪切生活是一家著名的多层次营销公♥司♥
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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