辛普森一家

The Simpsons S33E11

Part 1 Jan. 24, 2022, 8:45 p.m.

辛普森一家
第三十三季第十一集
春田核电站
7G区
安静节目开始了
Shut up! it's starting!
春田原子队成功抽到了
The Springfield Atoms have earned
本年度选秀的状元签
The number-one pick in this year's draft,
倒计时
得益于他们上赛季的超级摆烂行为
After intentionally losing every game last season.
春田人是最会输球的
Nobody tanks like springfield--
我们是摆烂之城
City of intentional losers.
摆烂摆烂摆烂
Tank! tank! tank!
本届选秀的状元签
And with the first pick of the draft,
选秀球员一览
春田原子队选择了
the Springfield Atoms select...
格雷森·麦瑟斯
Grayson Mathers.
太好了
All right!
太棒了
Yeah! All right!
我们今天非常有幸能见证
We have witnessed the most beautiful birth in the world--
一个橄榄球王朝的诞生
That of a football dynasty.
让费城人见识一场真正的胜利暴♥动♥是什么样的
Let's show Philadelphia what a real victory riot looks like!
真是一场无妄之灾
What a needless tragedy.
你刚说公♥司♥利润下降了吗
You say our corporate revenue is down?
伯恩斯公♥司♥旗下产业
亏损主要是来自于一个分部
Well, the losses are all coming from one division--
你的酿酒厂
Your liquor company.
绅士先生白兰地
绅士白兰地的销♥售♥量
Sales of Mr. Gentleman brandy
已经降到零了而且还有下降的趋势
have reached zero and are only projected to go down.
绅士先生销♥售♥总额
不可能
Impossible.
绅士先生白兰地可是每一位
Mr. Gentleman is sipped by every trustee
纳拉甘西特鲸油公♥司♥委托人的心头好
of the narragansett whale oil concern.
那问题可能出在广♥告♥宣传上
Well, maybe the problem is the ad campaign.
喝一小口就够了
广♥告♥一直在鼓励人们
It's encouraging consuming
少喝点酒
as little of the liquor as possible.
越小口越好
有时候我就闻闻
喝一小口我就满足了
That'll hold me for quite a while.
我找了一个品牌专家
So, I brought in a branding expert
来帮忙重新打造绅士先生
To reimagine Mr. Gentleman.
现如今
These days,
在我们品牌界叫做'当下'
which in the branding business is called "the present,"
只有大明星代言的酒品牌
the only liquor brands people care about
才会有人买♥♥
are endorsed by big celebrities.
人们会想如果我买♥♥了这个龙舌兰酒
People think, "If I buy this tequila,
卡萨米格龙舌兰酒
我就跟乔治·克鲁尼一样风趣了
then I'm as fun as george clooney."
或者我觉得我应该更讨人嫌一点
Or, "I need to be more smug and unbearable.
正好雷恩·雷诺兹有卖♥♥金酒
Hey, Ryan Reynolds has a gin."
航♥空♥金酒
那赶快找一个最适合代言我白兰地的大明星
So we find the perfect celebrity to represent my brandy.
找谁好呢
But who?
哈里森·福特怎么样
What about Harrison Ford?
-太好莱坞气了 -多利·帕顿呢
- Too hollywood. - Dolly Parton?
太多利气了
Too dollywood.
那就没了
With that, we end the list
就剩这两个明星
of every celebrity who does not already have
没有自己的酒类品牌了
an existing liquor company.
所以我们需要一名广受喜爱的
So what we need is a brand-new celebrity,
新出道的名人
one adored by the common man.
格雷森·麦瑟斯
Grayson Mathers!
格雷森·麦瑟斯格雷森·麦瑟斯
Grayson Mathers! Grayson Mathers!
格雷森
Grayson!
格雷森有人称你为
Grayson, some have dubbed you
春田橄榄球的救世主
"the savior of springfield football".
对于一个菜鸟来说是不是有很大压力
Isn't that a lot of pressure for a rookie?
我即是我
I do me.
你要是不喜欢那是你的问题
If you don't like it, that's on you.
格雷森有些人十分厌烦你这种
Grayson, some people are put off
爱咋咋地的态度
by your tell-it-like-it-is attitude.
你有什么想对他们说的吗
What do you say to them?
我就是白纸一张
I'm an open book,
但对无良媒体和杠精们
But the media and haters
还有那些从没亲自打过球的人
And people who have never played the game,
我可以很自信地说
I carry myself with a certain confidence,
我完全不在乎你们对我从没说过
And I don't apologize for your perception
但一向支持的言辞的任何看法
of statements I did not make, but stand by.
够爆料吧
Truth bomb.
我晚上睡得可香了
I sleep at night.
你说什么
What did you just say?
我即是我
I do me.
绝了这哥们一点都不装
Man, that dude keeps it so real.
他就说我就是我
He's all, "this is me.
我从不道歉有本事来咬我
I don't apologize. What up, haters?"
他不容定义
He does him.
真希望自己能有他一半好
I wish I was half as myself as he is.
他们好爱这个扔猪皮球的
They adore this pigskin-tossing football thrower.
他傲慢口无遮拦
He's brash, outspoken,
故意装无知
Willfully uninformed.
他直言不讳
He has no filter.
在这个过度包装标题党泛滥
In our sanitized, clickbait-ready,
娱乐至死的时代
media-driven world,
人们最渴望这种真实的东西了
What people crave is authenticity.
不信你看指标
If you don't believe me, look at the metrics.
指标
有数据有真♥相♥
Now you believe me.
你怎么不早说
Why didn't you mention any of this before?
好问题
I don't know.
一定要让这家伙成为我白兰地公♥司♥的新代言人
This bad boy must be the new face of my brandy company.
史密瑟斯马上雇用他
Smithers, hire him at once.
把这个赶走
And get rid of this.
活板门
过道办公室反应堆堆芯美国参议院
我做了指标呢
But my metrics!
格雷森·麦瑟斯白兰地广♥告♥ 第一版
我从不介意做自己
I got no problem being me.
酸民从不缺席
Opinions exist.
好好想想吧
Think about it.
难道我会不了解自己的本性吗
Do you seriously doubt I know what I'm like?
反对格雷森别做你自己按规做事吧
提到白兰地
And when it comes to brandy,
你们小口抿去吧
Go ahead and sip.
但我
Me?
从来是灌的
I'll chug.
我即是我
I do me.
你行你素
You do you...
我行我素
大口白兰地
听我的
My way.
祝贺你孩子
Congratulations, my boy.
你成为了美国最知名假酒的代言人
You are the face of America's most marked-up trash liquor.
本人还有一独特之处
There's one thing that's unique about me--
我一向崇拜有钱人
I've always admired rich people.
如今我被这样一位雇用了
And now I'm getting paid by one.
一切都是你的功劳
That's on you.
来嘛老蒙
Aw, come on, Burnsy.
放开点
Bring it in.
今后我罩你兄弟
Yeah. I got you, bro.
原来这就是被他人接纳的感觉
So this is what it feels like to be brought in.
干杯
Cheers!
为来自商业的钞票干杯
To the money that comes from business.
为友谊的抱抱干杯
To friendship hugs.
明天是赛季第一场
First game of the season tomorrow,
所以我得去早点睡觉了
So I'd better hit the hay.
"早点睡觉"是俱乐部的名字
That's the name of the club I'm going to.
然后我就去洗洗睡
Then I'm gonna hit the sack.
去那儿开第二场
That's where the after-party is.
春田原子体育馆第一周春田原子队VS冲锋队
格雷森·麦瑟斯助威棒发放日
格雷森·麦瑟斯