辛普森一家
The Simpsons S33E09
Part 1
Jan. 24, 2022, 8:45 p.m.
辛普森一家
第三十三季 第九集
无聊 无聊
Boring. Boring.
无聊 无聊 无聊
Boring. Boring. Boring.
看过了
Seen it.
感同身受
Lived it.
你好像发现了犬飞台 巴仔
Looks like you've discovered Muttflix, Bart.
为狗狗打造的高端电视频道
The premium cable channel made for dogs.
仅供成年观众观看
三岁以上
他们播出一些犬类视角的短片
They show short scenes from a canine point of view.
这下它们可以看了
It's to a dog's eyes
而平时打开狗狗罐头时它们是用听的
what opening a can of dog food is to their ears.
有松鼠
Squirrel.
*我爱我的狗狗*
*I love my dog*
*就像我对你的爱一样*
*As much as I love you*
*但你或许会消失*
*But you may fade*
他们还说现在没什么好的电视创意了呢
And they say there's no good TV show ideas anymore.
你家的狗把我咬了
Your dog bit me.
让我的一天变得真美好
Made my day.
福克斯[狐狸]新闻台
她在这干什么
Ah, what's she doing here?
圣诞老人的小帮手想邀请
Santa's little helper wanted to invite
它的妈妈过来 因为今天是母亲节
his mom over since it's Mother's Day.
母亲节
Mother's Day...
太有爱了
So sweet.
你刚刚是说母亲节吗
Did you say it's Mother's Day?
妈妈 我们可没忘了你
Oh, mom. We haven't forgotten you.
猜猜我给你准备了什么 我在学校做的杯子
Guess what I've got. A mug I made at school!
太好了 谢谢
Great. Thanks.
丽莎给妈妈做的杯子
妈妈 虽然我觉得母亲节又不放假
And, mom, although I believe Mother's Day is a B.S. Holiday--
不像货真价实的节日 比如我的半岁生日
Unlike true holidays, like my half birthday
或者五月四日[原力之日]
or May the Fourth be with you--
我也还是给你做了个杯子
I, too, made you a mug.
谢谢你的努力
Thank you for trying.
巴仔的 或许是杯子
这世上没什么比婴儿的亲吻更好的了
Nothing in this world beats a baby's kiss.
得了便宜还卖♥♥乖
Thinks she's so cute.
你要怎么让一个不会讲话的人闭嘴
How do you tell someone who doesn't talk to shut up?
孩子们 我喜欢你们所有人的礼物
Kids, I love all your presents and...
侯默
Homer?
这是唯一一个
This is the one holiday
对我来说意义重大的节日
that means something to me.
我本来准备给你做顿床上早餐
Well, I was gonna make you breakfast in bed,
但你知道我的厨艺有多差劲
but you know the food always comes out bad...
超级差劲
Ugh, so bad.
而且我们总把厨房♥弄得一团糟
And we always leave a mess in the kitchen,
还不如不做
which is worse than making no breakfast at all.
简单来说 我们太蠢了
Basically we're idiots.
你想说什么
Where is this going?
所以我就想 不如送你个好相框吧
So I thought, why not get you a nice picture frame instead?
那比一顿早餐能维持更久
It'll last longer than a breakfast
然后我仔细挑选了有所有孩子们的照片
And I carefully chose a picture of all the kids...
为您呈现
And... pour vous.
太贴心了
Aw, that is nice.
怎么了 老爸 怎么回事
What is it, dad? What's wrong?
只是 只是
It's... it's just...
给妈妈
侯默 你的妈妈
Homer, it's your mother.
这张照片是关于我仅存的一点念想了
This image is all you've got left of me.
而且年复一年变得越来越模糊了
And it's starting to get a little fuzzier each year.
妈妈
Mom.
多想亲吻你模糊的脸
If only I could kiss your fuzzy face.
鼻子都凉凉的 但是吻不一样
Same cold nose, but not the same.
我想你 妈妈
I miss you, mom.
天啊 爸爸又在回忆他人生最痛苦的事了
Oh, my god! dad's reliving the great tragedy of his life.
啥事
And that is?
失去你妈妈
Losing your mother.
我的麻麻呀
Oh, my god.
我也替你难受 侯默
I'm so sorry, Homer.
妈妈是无可替代的
Nothing can replace your mom.
但是你♥爸♥爸还在呀
But you do have your father.
哭吧 爸爸
Let it out, dad.
研究表明失去父母
Studies show losing a parent
对于小孩来说是最容易留下♥阴♥影的事情
is the most traumatic thing that can happen to a child.
越说我越难受
What a sad thing to say.
等侯默嗝屁那天我们得订一个
When Homer croaks we're gonna have to spring for
超大号♥的棺材
an XXL elephant coffin.
一点都不好笑 巴仔
Not funny, Bart.
猫觉得好笑
Hey, the cat liked it.
爸爸 不然试试心理疏导吧
Dad, maybe you should get some therapy.
我觉得咱家
I just don't know if we can
马姬心理治疗账单
侯默心理治疗账单
孩子心理治疗账单
猫咪心理治疗账单
花太多钱看心理医生综合征心理治疗账单
马姬诊断书
过度焦虑 建议离婚
在心理医生身上花了太多钱了
afford more mental health.
别担心 妈妈 多亏了苹果商店
Don't worry, mom. Thanks to the app store,
现在我们终于有救了
there's a solution to everything.
"疯子" 专门看心理医生的应用
Nutz, the therapy app.
我可以边蹲坑边治病了
I can confront my grief on the john!
欢迎来到"疯子"
Welcome to nutz,
这款应用可以帮你抚平心伤
The app that can process your loss,
脚踏实地 走出低谷
talk you down from highs, pick you up from lows,
或是保持现状
maintain your mediums,
我们还提供
And find CBD gummies
你信仰神形状的大♥麻♥小熊软糖
in the shape of your version of god.
你想聊点什么
精神分♥裂♥症
拔毛癖
边缘型人格障碍
抑郁症
广场恐惧症
救救我吧
Fix my brain.
李斯特狂热
分离焦虑症
四重人格
黑猫恐惧症
依恋症
诱发原因
"Nature of grief?"
失去妈妈
"Loss of mother."
当时年龄
"Age of loss?"
九岁
"Nine years old."
你是机器人吗
"Are you a robot?"
是倒好了
I wish.
提交
时刻帮助他人
伙计们 来活了
Okay, people. Let's earn those phds.
谁来负责这个失去妈妈的
Who wants "lost his mother"?
失去妈妈的
Lost his mother?
快点的 这个多好啊
Oh, come on, that's a premium disorder.
已经被伤透了
You can't make him worse.
我来吧
I'll take it.
还剩下一个想自杀的 一个尿床的
Okay, we've also got a jumper, a bed-wetter,
和一个还没从
and a guy who's still messed up
爱国者交易布雷迪事件走出来的人
because the Patriots traded Brady.
记住 如果能把客户说哭
And remembe r, if you get 'em to cry,
就有机会去钞票风暴机里捞奖金哦
You get a turn in the cash tornado.
正在连线咨♥询♥师
你好 侯默
Hello, Homer.
请输入你母亲的逝世日期
Please enter date of loss.
三十年前
我把这段话写在酒柜上 以确保你看的见
I wrote this on the liquor cabinet so you would see it.
我被FBI通缉了
I am wanted by the FBI,
将永远离开
And leaving forever.
亚伯 把酒放下 照顾好侯默
Abe! put down the booze and take care of Homer.
去找他 要温柔细腻地呵护他
Go to him. Be gentle and sensitive.
强劲的 高纯伏特加
Strong and... absolut Vodka.
你读到标签栏去了
Now you're just reading the label.
妈妈什么时候回来
When's mommy coming back?
-她不会回来了 -为什么
- She's not. - Why not?
辛普森一家
The Simpsons
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