辛普森一家

The Simpsons S33E02

Part 3 Nov. 9, 2021, 11:27 a.m.

cutlife is a famous multi-level marketing company.
老爸你跌进传销了
Dad, you fell for a pyramid scheme.
传销不可能
Scheme? No way.
他们甚至不想让我加入
They didn't even want to let me join.
但是幸运的是最后一刻有一个空位
But, luckily, at the last minute, a space opened up.
你卖♥♥掉多少刀具
How many knives have you even sold?
我不卖♥♥
I don't sell them.
我要激发新的会员
I engage opportunity handlers
替我分卖♥♥它们
to distributize them for me,
我是扩大销♥售♥经理
The expandibution manager.
这都是查尔斯·E·剪切生活的
It's all part of charles e. Cutlife's
三维三角系统
Three-dimensional triangle system.
-你看啊 -为什么老爸不会因为官司被逮捕
- Look! - Why can't dad ever get arrested in a suit?
剪切生活CEO由于涉嫌欺诈被逮捕
承认吧天才你被骗了
Face it, genius: You got scammed.
她说得对所有人都说的对
She's right. Everyone's right.
别看我易受骗的脸
Don't look at my gullible face!
我将自己交付于火焰
And so I consign to the flames
以此纪念我的愚昧
A monument to my own stupidity.
不要
No!
是不是有人需要你的一个道歉
Now, isn't there someone you need to apologize to?
此人或许是你老爸
Maybe your father?
你说得对
Yeah, you're right.
我对他说了那么糟糕的话
I said such horrible things to him.
春田退休老人城♥堡♥
我之前一直怪你遭人欺骗
All that time I was yelling at you,
其实原来我也是个蠢货
It turns out I'm a sucker, too.
你能原谅我吗老爸
Will you forgive me, dad?
那是当然儿子希望我们都能
Of course, son. Hopefully, we've all
吃一堑长一智
come out of this a little more savvy.
你好没错我是一个男孩或女孩的爷爷
Hello? Yes, this is a grandparent of a boy or girl.
好啊让他或她听电♥话♥吧
Sure, put him or her on the phone.
不好了丽莎进局子了
No! Lisa's in jail!
爷爷他们又想骗你
Grampa, they're trying to trick you again.
还是上次那个骗子
It's the same swindler.
他肯定觉得我特好骗吧
He must think I'm greedy for more.
我有个主意
I got an idea.
录音中
爷爷你多说几句把他拖住
Grampa, you got to keep talking so that guy stays on the phone.
多说几句我一辈子都在等待这个时刻
Keep talking? I've been preparing for this moment my entire life.
先生如果你不赶快把保释金汇过来的话
Sir, look, if you don't put up that bail money,
你孙女就得在冰冷的牢房♥中度过今晚了
your granddaughter will be spending the night in the cooler.
说到冷我们那个年代根本没有冰柜
In my day, we didn't have fancy coolers,
得靠大伙轮流给生肉吹气才能保鲜
so everyone took turns blowing on the meat to keep it fresh,
除非你能雇一家荷兰人帮你吹
unless you hired a Dutch family to blow on your food for you.
我们管他们叫吹吹子
Breezies is what you'd call 'em.
先生麻烦把银行信息提供给我们
Sir, if you could just give us your bank information...
当时有个轰动一时的新闻是吹吹子嫁给了扁扁子
It was quite the scandal when a breezy married a smusher...
扁扁子就是你雇来
Those were the fellas you hired
帮你用屁♥股♥把三明治坐平的人
to flatten your sandwiches by sitting on 'em...
当时整个小镇的人都来庆...
And the whole town came out to throw tar...
这废话说得还挺有意思啊
Wow, that's some quality prattle.
成了我用开源音频软件
Okay, I've run all three hours of the call
分♥析♥完了整整三个小时的音频
through open-source audio software,
背景里的钟声
and the unique pattern of church bells
和过山车的尖叫声组合定位到了...
and roller-coaster screams pins the location to...
女士们先生们这就是骗子的地址
ladies and gentlemen, the address of the scammer.
1300 商♥圈♥C座
这下我们能去把钱要回来了
Whoa, we could get the money back.
不是钱的问题
It's not about the money.
我要让他亲眼看看这位被他
I want to show that bad guy the face of the old man
利用了爱与同情的老人
whose love and decency he exploited.
宝贝你真是心地善良
Oh, honey, you have a beautiful heart.
但有件事你得明白
But make no mistake...
钱是一定得要的
It is about the money!
商♥圈♥C座
1300 商♥圈♥C座
孩子们今天你们将学到重要的一课
Kids, today you're gonna learn an important lesson:
有时候羊是能把被薅走的羊毛抢回来的
Sometimes the sheep get back their wool.
不可能羊都是再把毛长出来
No, they don't. They just grow more wool.
咋的你是牧羊小子啊走吧老爸
What are you, a shepherd? Come on, dad.
去把我应得的钱要回来
Let's go get my eventual money back.
有个保安在这拦着咋办
How are we gonna get past the guard?
无需担心
Aw, don't worry about that.
我自有妙计
My friends can get us in.
只有爱达荷钢才拥有
That's the surgical precision you only get
这手术刀般的精度
from the finest Idaho steel.
真厉害这一套我全要了
Amazing. I'll take the full set.
这可不是给你来买♥♥的
Oh, you're not buying the knives.
而是给我卖♥♥的吗
I could sell them?
非也你可以卖♥♥给别人卖♥♥刀的机会
No, you can sell other people on selling them.
这种好刀不用卖♥♥就能挣钱
These knives sell selling themselves themselves.
真是千载难逢的良机啊
This is the opportunity of a lifetime!
我这就去给怀孕的媳妇汇报这个喜讯
I'm gonna go tell my pregnant wife about my new career.
爷爷我们这就去把坏人揪出来
Okay, grampa, we're gonna find that bad guy
为你伸张正义
and get you some justice.
哪个是骗子
Uh, which one's the scammer?
全都是骗子
They're all the scammer.
国税局的人马上就要到你家了
The IRS tax police are on their way to your home,
除非你马上给我们充值一百万堡垒之夜银币
but we'll accept immediate payment in Fortnite v-bucks.
你的爱彼迎客房♥马上就准备好了
Oh, your Airbnb is all ready to go, there.
我正帮你叠毛巾呢
I'm fluffing the towels right now.
你听
Fluff, fluff.
这么多人
There's so many of them.
你们从事的是不正当事业
You are all in an unethical industry
我们已经通知当局了
and we have called the authorities.
又来
Oh, man.
又是一屋子的电♥信♥诈骗员
Another boiler room of phone hucksters.
好了骗子们规矩你们都懂
All right, scambags, you know the drill:
你们爱去哪去哪别在这骗人了
You don't got to go home, but you can't grift here.
-啥 -就这
- Come on. - What? Really?
你不抓他们吗
Aren't you going to arrest them?
马姬你今天把这家关了
Marge, you shut down one of these,
明天又多出来五家新的
Five more pop up in its place.
电♥信♥诈骗和万圣节宠物衣服
Phone fraud and halloween costumes for pets
是美国仅有的成长型产业
are America's only growth industries.
也就是说他们也只是打工人为了挣钱而已
So they're just employees doing this for a paycheck?
能挣到钱还好了呢
I wish we got paid in money.
我们只能领到低保工资和礼品卡
All we get is minimum wage and gift cards.
-你有没有拿我爸的钱 -没有
- Do you have my dad's money? - No.
-我的钱是不是在你那 -没有
- Do you have my money? - Nope.
你能给我一万块吗
Can I have $10,000?
门都没有
Not gonna happen, dude.
你的声音听起来好耳熟
Hey, you sound familiar.
别惹老子
Don't have a cow, man.
巴仔的口头禅
难道我们努力了半天只有这种结果吗
Is this what we wanted to happen?
好吧可能确实有些不尽如人意但...
Okay, I know this seems bad, but... but, uh...
妈妈你总是能发现事情中积极的一面
Oh, come on, mom, you always see the good in everything.
好吧积极的一面就是
Well, on the bright side,
如果你从其他的角度来看的话...
If you look at it a certain way...
根本就没有积极的一面
There is no bright side!
这个世界就是一个大犯罪团伙
The whole world is one big criminal organization!
从对冲基金到发薪日贷款到美国大学体育总会
From hedge funds to payday loans to the NCAA,
根本就不只几颗坏苹果
It's not just a few bad apples...
而是整个果园都烂掉了
It's the whole orchard that's rotten!
有礼品卡耶
Whoa, gift cards!
正义没有到来
Justice wasn't served,
不过晚餐来了
But dinner is.
美式开胃菜馆
没想到我们吃了五百多块钱的开胃菜
I can't believe we ate $500 worth of appetizers.
复仇汉堡配报应蘸酱
Revenge sliders dipped in payback sauce.
老婆你怎么没吃到满头大汗
Honey, you're not sweating from overeating. What's wrong?
这些礼品卡已经被欺骗无辜群众的行为所玷污了
These gift cards were obtained by scamming innocent people.
我不吃谢谢