明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project S03E02
Part 1
April 29, 2021, 1:46 p.m.
Oh, Danny, I just remembered the dream I had last night.
Danny 我想起了我昨晚做的梦
Please don't tell me.
拜托别告诉我
No, you're gonna like this one.
不 你会喜欢这个梦的
So I was in the jungle, and this guy wanted me so badly.
我当时在丛林里 有个男人非常想要上我
He was, like, Tarzan.
他就像 人猿泰山一样
Why would I like this dream?
为什么我会喜欢这个梦
You know, now that I'm thinking about it,
你知道吗 我现在转念一想
I think you might not like it. All right.
我觉得你可能会不喜欢 好的
It's me!
是我
Ma?
妈
Don't get up. It's only your mother.
不用站起来迎接 只是你妈而已
What are you doing here?
你来这儿干嘛呢
Well, I was in the city,
我刚好在城里
and I thought I'd drop off some old magazines.
想说可以拿一些旧杂♥志♥给你
Okay, ma, I told you a hundred times,
好吧 妈 我跟你说过上百次了
I don't want your old TV guides.
我不想要你的过期电视指南
Oh, are you the King of Siam?
你现在成了暹罗国王了吗
You're too good for an inside look at the fall lineup?
秋季节目阵容预览配不上你吗
Hello, Mrs. Castellano.
你好 Castelano夫人
Such an honor to meet you. I'm Mindy.
很荣幸见到你 我是Mindy
All right, well, this has been a lot of fun, ma, but...
好了 聊得真开心 妈 但是
Oh, of course. It's very nice to meet you.
当然 很高兴见到你
Would you remind me, how long have you been with Danny?
能不能告诉我 你跟了Danny多久了
Couple of months, actually.
其实有几个月了
Oh, well, I'm glad he has you,
这样啊 很高兴有你在他身边
because his last girl, she wasn't very good.
因为上一个女孩 并不是很好
Oh, I know.
我懂的
No, she was lazy and always listening to that Cucaracha music.
不 她又懒 又整天听那些库卡拉恰音乐
Ugh.
恶
Yeah. Which girlfriend was that?
是啊 那是哪任女友啊
Would you consider coming out to Staten Island?
你愿意来斯塔顿岛吗
Oh, no, no, no, no. She's a busy girl, ma.
不不不 她很忙的 妈
This Mindy is...
这位Mindy是
What? No! I would love to.
什么 不 我很愿意去
Oh, could you do wednesdays?
周三可以吗
Every wednesday?
每周三吗
Sure! What's your rate, hon?
当然 你的费用(分数)怎样 亲爱的
My rate. That's a great question.
我的分数吗 这是个好问题
I think I'm an eight.
我觉得我是个8分女
You know, a ten in Chicago, but a four in Los Angeles.
在芝加哥能有10分 但在洛杉矶只值4分
Okay, that's great.
好了 真是不错
Uh, ma, enough with the jibber-jab.
呃 妈 闲谈够了吧
I gotta get to work. Good to see you.
我得去工作了 很高兴见到你
All right, all right!
好了 好了
This one has been in a hurry since the day he was born.
这家伙自出娘胎以来就都这么匆匆忙忙的
Don't I know it. Yeah.
可不是嘛 是啊
He came out two months early, and he was only three inches tall.
他早出来了两个月 当时只有三英寸那么高呢
Yeah, okay, good-bye, ma.
好了 好了 再见 妈
Good to see you. Okay, bye, Danny.
很高兴见到你 好了 拜 Danny
Good to meet you, Mrs. Castellano. Byebye.
很高兴见到你 Castellano夫人 拜拜
Your mother loves me.
你妈很爱我
She thinks you're my cleaning lady.
她以为你是我的清洁工
Why didn't you tell your mother that I wasn't the cleaning lady?
你为什么不跟你妈说我不是清洁工
Do I look Dominican to you? Do not answer that.
我看起来像个多明尼加人吗 别回答
I didn't wanna get into a whole thing.
我不想搀和进去
I mean, I never mentioned you before.
我是说 我以前从没提到过你
Don't gasp.
别倒吸一口冷气
You've never mentioned me to your mother?
你从没和你妈提到过我吗
Danny, I have told everyone about us.
Danny 我跟所有人说过我们
I even showed my waxer that beautiful poem you wrote.
甚至连我的脱毛师都看过你写的那首美妙诗歌♥
Brown orchid? That was for your eyes only.
棕兰花吗 那是只给你一个人看的
It was beautiful and it was erotic.
那首诗虽然美妙但是也很色情啊
Okay, look, I wanted to. I wanted to tell her.
好了 听着 我想的 我想告诉她的
I wanted to say, "Ma, this is Mindy,"
我想过说 "妈 这是Mindy"
but she's... She's very difficult.
但是她 她很难搞
Are you insane? I'm difficult.
你疯了吗 我才难搞
I make you get me a present every day, otherwise I freak out.
我逼你每天送我礼物 不然我就发疯
Yeah, no, I know.
是啊 不 我知道
What was your plan?
所以你怎么打算的
You're just gonna keep us apart forever?
永远不让我们见面吗
What were you gonna do on our wedding day?
那我们结婚的时候你要怎么办
You'd be fine.
你不会有问题的
You'd be all covered up in your religious garb.
你会被你们宗教的袍子完全罩住
She wouldn't even see you.
她连你的脸都不会看到
What religion do you think I am?
你以为我是信什么教的啊
Orthodox something, I don't know.
东正教之类的吧 我不知道
You are unbelievable, Danny.
难以置信 Danny
Okay, look, I guess I was hoping
好吧 听着 我想我是希望
that things just resolved
在我必须介绍你之前
themselves before I had to introduce you.
让事情自然而然地随风而逝
What does that mean?
那是什么意思
Well, you know, that, you know, natural forces would just...
你知道的 就是 你知道的 自然之力就会
Just make things resolved.
自然地把事情解决了
Were you trying to run out the clock until your mother died?
你是在等着你妈去世吗
Look, my mother wasn't like other mothers.
听着 我妈和其他母亲不一样
She's tough. She had to be.
她很强硬 她不得不强硬
She raised two boys all by herself.
她独自一人将两个男孩拉扯大
She cleaned hotel rooms just to make ends meet.
她去当旅馆清洁工 好让收支平衡
What is "Ends meet" Anyway?
"收支平衡"到底是什么意思
People are always talking about it.
人们老是说起这个
Is that, like, the last, fatty part of the rump roast?
像是 烤臀肉剩下的肥肉部分吗
It sounds delicious. I'd love to try it.
听起来挺美味的 我很愿意尝试一下
Okay, look, the point is I don't think you guys would get along.
好了 听着 重点是我不认为你俩能好好相处
She's hated all my ex-girlfriends.
她讨厌我所有的前女友
Yeah, but, Danny, I'm not like your ex-girlfriends, okay?
对 但是 Danny 我跟你的前女友们不一样 好吗
Moms love me. You know why?
妈妈们都很爱我 你知道为什么吗
Because I have a foolproof, four-point mom-catching plan
因为我有一套完整的 四个方针的母亲俘虏方案
that works on even the prickliest of moms.
哪怕最棘手的母亲都会被我攻陷
Step one...
第一步
Okay. Okay, fine, you can meet her.
好了好了 好吧 你可以和她见面
I just... I can't listen to one of your cuckoo plans
我只是 我没办法在早上十点前
before 10:00 a.M.
听你的疯癫计划
Oh!
噢
Morning.
早上好
Hey... what are... Why is the door open?
嘿 你在 为什么门是开着的
Okay, relax, I'm just peeing.
好啦 放轻松 我只是在小便而已
Why are you sitting down?
那你干嘛坐着
Oh, Tamra makes me sit down when I pee now,
Tamra现在规定我坐着小便
because when I stand I splash everywhere.
因为我站着的话会尿得到处都是
Oh, for God sakes, man. No, she's right.
看在老天的份上 不 她是对的
I mean, when I'm done it looks like
我是说 我尿完之后 那看起来就像
singin' in the rain in there.
雨中曲拍摄现场一样
Ladies, huh?
女人 对吧
That's what they do to you.
她们就是这样
They ruin your life. They make you wash your sheets.
毁掉你的生活 强迫你自己洗床单
They kiss Jeremies.
她们还跟叫Jeremy的人接吻
Okay, are you talking about Dr. Reed kissing your girlfriend
好吧 你现在说的是Reed医生和你女朋友接吻
or is this directly applicable to this situation?
还是在讨论这个情况
Oh, the latter, dude.
这都是阶级制度(梯子) 老兄
What ladder?
什么梯子
Look, Tamra has you whipped like a frat pledge,
听着 Tamra控制着你的一切
which, you know, they say is cool,
这样下去 你知道 别人嘴上说没事
and you think those guys are your friends,
而你也以为他们还是你朋友
and then... You know what?
但之后 你知道吗
I'm not gonna sit down to pee. Don't.
我不会再坐着撒尿了 那就别
I'm gonna stand up when I have to pee,
我撒尿的话 就要站着尿
'cause I'm a man. Yeah.
因为我是个男人 没错
I'm never sitting on a toilet ever again.
我再也不会坐在马桶上了
You shouldn't have to.
你没必要坐
Starting now. My legs are asleep.
从现在开始 我的腿麻了
明迪烦事多（2012）
The Mindy Project
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