派对之后（2022）

Homemade cheese, sir?
所以我混进了他们的派对圈子
So I infiltrated the party and mingled.
持续监视佐伊
Got eyes on the objective.
完全不惹人注意
Totally inconspicuous.
- 布雷特 瞧你 最近好吗 - 天啊
- Brett. Look at you. How are you? - Jesus.
尹迪果 呃 我很好…很高…兴见到你
Indigo. Uh, good, good, good. It's g-- good to see you.
你最近…在忙什么
What are you-- What've you been up to?
如你所知 只有人类这动物 会喝其他动物的奶
As you know, humans are the only animals that drink another animal's milk.
- 嗯哼… - 野蛮的行为
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - It's barbaric.
我创建了一个在线小组
I have created an online group
致力于推广自♥制♥的人奶芝士
devoted to promoting homemade human breast milk cheese.
- 不…
- No, no.
不是你吃的芝士 这是对动物的折磨
Not the cheese that you're eating. That's torture.
你在吃的是动物的痛苦
What you're eating is agony.
是的 这个女人 一直在说她的人奶芝士
Okay, so this woman is going on about her breast milk cheese, okay?
但我必须盯着佐伊 是吧
But I had to keep an eye on Zoë, right?
幸运的是 她当时在和那个 威胁指数几乎为零的阿尼克说话
Now, luckily, she was talking to that guy, Aniq, which is like-- Threat level zero.
威胁指数零
Threat level zero?
拜托 我的威胁指数至少是七
Come on, I'm at least a threat level seven.
呃…我会给你三
Eh… I'd give you, like, a three.
他没老二
Nothing. Smooth. Smooth down there.
他就像是 呃…
Like, he's almost like, uh…
- 厄凯尔 - 等等
- Urkel. - Wait, hold up.
他让我在性方面想起斯蒂夫厄凯尔
Steve Urkel. He reminds me of him sexually.
我需要你稍安勿躁 好吗
I'ma need you to hold your horses, okay?
因为我非常喜欢斯蒂夫厄凯尔
Because Steve Urkel is someone I had a huge crush on.
他是第一位黑人
He was the first Black man
拥有自己的麦片品牌 好吗
that I ever heard of that had his own cereal, okay?
此外 他是个天才 你穿过背带吗
Plus, he was a genius. Have you ever worn suspenders?
但当我穿背带时
But I know-- When I'm wearing my suspenders,
我并没…
I'm not like--
你如果再侮辱厄凯尔…
If you hate on Urkel one more time…
我有这么做吗 好吧 我是说
Did I do that? Okay, look.
无论如何 她跟阿尼克谈话让我比较放心
Regardless, I felt safer with her talking to Aniq,
所以那时是上厕所的最佳时机
so it was the perfect time to empty the tanks.
布雷特 你好
Hello, Brett.
你好 尤金
Hello, Eugene.
现在是泽维尔了
It's Xavier now.
噢 是吗 我没听说
Oh, is it? I hadn't heard.
- 舒服 - 噢
- Nice flow. - Oh.
才刚刚开始 伙计 这是第一挡
Just getting started, partner. This right here, this is first gear.
我的天
Oh, my God.
我可以持续数小时
I could do this for hours.
嘿 瞧我换调
Hey, watch me change pitch.
我把这小便池打得像个该死的钢鼓
I'm playing this urinal like a goddamn steel drum.
可惜你不在牙买♥♥加 杰克
Too bad you're not in Jamaica, Jack.
- 好 你要大声 - 我需要大声
- Yeah, you want loud? - I need loud.
- 这是你想要的吗 你要大声吗 - 我们来看看你的本事
- Is that what you want? You want loud? - Let's see what you got.
竖起你的耳朵
Prick up your ears.
天啊
Oh, Jesus.
- 耳朵疼吧… - 停…
- It hurts. It hurts. - Stop, stop, stop, stop.
认输吧
Tap out.
恢复正常
Back to normal.
看来你快没油了 朋友
Sounds like you're running out of gas, amigo.
- 你开始自我怀疑
- You're starting to question yourself.
你开始不确定了 你知道你快尿完了
You're starting to second-guess. You know that you're running out of piss.
是的 结束了 噢
Yeah, it's over. Oh.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
不错的尝试 孩子 但没人能像我一样撒尿
Nice try, kiddo. But no one pees like me.
- 佐伊今晚很漂亮 - 好 尤金 你想怎样
- So, Zoë's looking good tonight. - Okay. What are you up to, Eugene?
- 我 - 是的
- Me? - Yeah.
只不过在想高中时 被你嘲笑和欺负的那些日子
Just thinking about all those times you mocked and bullied me in high school.
没错 小老二先生
That's right. Mr. Tiny Pee-Pee Penis.
是啊 你从没见过我的老二
Yeah, you've never seen my penis.
你知道吗
You know,
今晚我本想说服 珍妮弗姐妹俩背叛她们的丈夫
I thought I'd spend the night convincing the Jennifers to cheat on their husbands
因为我从来没同时 和两个孕妇发生过性关系
'cause I've never had sex with two pregnant women at the same time.
但我现在要把目标改为你的前妻
But now I'm gonna set my sights on your ex-wife instead.
别妄想 你不是她喜欢的类型
You wish. You're not her type.
你也不是 不再是了 我们外头见 冠军
Neither are you. Not anymore. I'll see you out there, champ.
噢 我还可以继续尿尿
Oh, and I coulda kept pissing.
看着点用 我还剩半箱呢
Paced that shit, I've still got half a tank.
不可能
That is impossible.
现在我要去和你的前任上♥床♥了
And now I'm gonna have sex with your ex.
噢 还挺押韵的 应该用作歌♥词
Ooh, that rhymes. Should use that in a song.
浴室的音响效果很好
Good acoustics in bathrooms.
你这个混♥蛋♥ 给我回来 等等 我还没说完呢
You bastard! Come back here. Wait, I'm not done with you.
为什么我的水份那么充足
Why do I hydrate so well?
结束…好
Over. Over. Yeah.
这混…
Son of a--
我迟了一步
I was too late.
又不想当众闹事
And I didn't wanna make a scene.
我需要找个视线清楚的地方
I needed a clear line of sight.
- 这里有人坐吗 - 请…坐
- Anyone sitting here? - Please-- Please sit.
这是…留给你的 宝贝
That's your-- That's you, baby.
你没事吧
You okay?
我不会让他毁了我的家庭 我…
I'm not gonna let him ruin my family. I'm--
家庭 对了
Family. That's it.
嘿
Hey.
- 怀旧行动开始了 - 沃特
- Operation Nostalgia was a go. - Walt.
兄弟 怎么了 那个扬声器没声音
What's up, man? I'm not hearing anything out of that speaker there.
- 是吗 - 朋友 只有一个扬声器的声音
- Really? - You're running mono, my friend.
- 又来了 我去看看 - 啊 抱歉
- Again? I'll check it out. - Aw, sorry.
没有声音 所以我想应该过来告诉你
I couldn't hear anything, so I figured I'd come and tell you.
谢了
Appreciate it.
该黑进主机了
Time to hack into the mainframe.
好 打开Facebook登入页面
Okay, activate Facebook protocol.
拜托 密♥码♥ “腹泻”
Come on. Password, "Diarrhea."
噢 该死
Oh, shit.
混♥蛋♥的无线网络
Son of a bitch, Wi-Fi.
拜托 快点…
Come on. Come on.
- 嘿 亚历克西斯 看好电线 - 该死
- Hey, Alexis, watch that wire. - Shit.
- 怎么啦 - 有人拔掉了一根电线
- What was it? - Someone pulled a wire out.
我的…谁会这么做
Oh, my Go-- Who would do that?
噢 嘿 呃 大小珍让我告诉你 现在可以开始播放幻灯片
Oh, hey, uh, the Jenns told me to tell you to go ahead and start the slideshow now.
不 她们严格要求我要甜品过后才播放
No, I'm under strict orders. They wanna do it after dessert.
有时候在生活中 事情会变的
Sometimes in life, things change.
- 你…好吧 呃…
- You-- Okay. Uh…
我知道我看起来 像个棱角分明、坚如磐石的硬汉
Now I know I seem like this chiseled, rock-hard tough guy,
但一提到家庭 连我也会有点哽咽
but when it comes to my family, even I get a little choked up.
而我了解佐伊…
And I knew Zoë--
她将会失控大哭
…is gonna cry her eyes out.
美丽的一天
Beautiful day.
不
No.
呃 嘿 布雷特 是我 沃特
Uh, hey, Brett? It's me, Walt.
- 还记得我吗 - 当然记得 很高兴见到你
- Do you remember me? - Of course. Good to see ya.
- 那我叫什么名字 - 你为什么现在问我这个
- Well, what's my name? - Why are you asking me that right now?
我刚说了我叫沃特
I just said my name's Walt.
- 我说：“嘿 是我 沃特” - 故事很酷
- I said, "Hey, it's me, Walt." - Cool story.
布雷特
Brett!
老朋友 很久的朋友
Old friends. Oldest friends.
彼得 你记得我吗
Peter, do you remember me?
- 噢 天啊 - 我的天
- Oh! God! - Oh, my God.
切尔西 你为什么会在这里
What the hell are you doing here, Chelsea?
你又为什么会在这里
What are you doing here?
等等 别说 我知道 你在找佐伊
Wait. Shh, I know. You're looking for Zoë.
- 是的… - 你在找佐伊
- Yes. Yes. - You're looking for Zoë.
我是 我必须找到她 你见过她吗
I am. I need to find her. Have you seen her?
我没有 噢 等等
I haven't. Oh, wait.
我有 不 是的 我见过她…
Yes. No, yes, I did. I did.
我见到她…天啊 你能等一下吗