异空漫游（2015）

UMP"败北号♥"
The UMP loser.
要是你申请了一艘新飞舰
If you had demanded a newer ship
我们就有足够的引擎动力来逃开那个裂洞
we would have had enough engine power to escape that hole.
嘿 "巡航号♥"非同凡响
Hey, the cruiser rocks.
哦 闭嘴吧
Oh, shut up,
你个吃软糖的嬉皮士 长发2083年就过气了
you fudge eating hippie long hair went out in 2083.
是过气了 我一直想跟你说来着
It did, you know I've been meaning to tell you about that.
我监测到高度紧张的人际氛围
I'm detecting high levels of personal tension.
启动小玩笑协议 以促进同事情谊
Initiating a light ribbing protocol to facilitate camaraderie.
嘿 Michael 这件衬衫是你妈妈买♥♥给你的吗
Hey Michael, did your mother buy that shirt for you?
然后还有Natasha
And then there's Natasha.
身姿曼妙啊 是谁设计的呢 一个13岁的毛头小子吗
Nice body. Who designed it, a 13 year old boy?
Stewart 这一切都结束了
Stewart, it's over.
Michael 快起来
Michael, get up,
把Stewart带回到他的房♥间去
take Stewart back to his quarters,
现在你是副指挥官了
you're second in command now.
现在由我来掌控这艘飞舰
I'm taking control of this ship.
听到她的话了吗
Did you hear her?
我现在是副指挥官了
I'm second in command now.
好 很好 非常好
All right, all right, excellent.
什么鬼
What the hell?
这都只是一场模拟吗
This was all just a simulation?
这是我们为所有准舰长设立的最终测试
This is the final test we give to all our potential captains.
真正了解某人如何应对危机的唯一方法
The only way to truly know how a person will do in a crisis
就是让身处其中的每一个人都信以为真
is to make everyone involved believe it's real.
Stewart 我们让你这个处于劣势的弟弟掌控大局
Stewart, we put you, the inferior sibling, in charge
以观察你姐姐如何应对这一切
to see how your sister would handle it.
她的做法超过了我们的预期
And she has exceeded our expectations.
恭喜你
Congratulations,
舰长
Captain.
你耍我们
You tricked us?
无意冒犯 但真不地道啊 将军
No offense, but not cool, General.
你说得对
You're right.
欺骗 虽然有时很必要 但永远都是不地道的
Deception, though sometimes necessary, is never cool.
Michael 你对很多事的判断都是对的
You know Michael, you're right about a lot of things.
大家真应该多听你的
People really should listen to you.
妈妈
Mother.
简直不可思议
I can't believe this.
这一切太真实了
Everything seems so real.
哦 棒棒哒
Oh, nice.
吞拿鱼
Tuna fish.
Art 最近我玩扑克赢了这些斜坡传动链
Art, I recently won these incline chains in a poker game.
装上他们你就能爬一些很平缓的山坡了
They'd allow you to climb very gentle hills.
50美元卖♥♥给你 - 成交
I'll give them to you for $50. - Deal.
在eBay上要卖♥♥70美元呢
They're worth 70 on eBay.
傻眼了吧
In your face.
不 不 Natasha 运行诊断程序
No, no, Natasha, run a diagnostic.
诺贝尔奖得主是物理学上有杰出成就
And the Nobel prize for excellence in physics and
并且身材火♥辣♥的Natasha
rocking hot bod goes to Natasha.
颁奖嘉宾为 Bogo Jean
Brought to you by Bogo Jean.
恭喜恭喜
Congratulations.
谢谢 我要感谢一下Bogo Jean - 这怎么可能
Thank you. I'd like to thank Bogo Jean. - How is this possible?
因为我爱上了你啊
Because I'm in love with you.
从我们一起上学开始
I've had a huge crush on you
我就被你深深迷住了
ever since we started at the academy together.
那Ted呢
What about Ted?
不 我甚至都不咋喜欢他
No. I don't even really like Ted.
我 我只是一直不敢跟你告白 因为我觉得
I, I just was worried about telling you cause I thought
或许你并不喜欢我 或是
maybe you wouldn't like me back, or.
哦 天呐 当然喜欢你 Tina 天呐
Oh my God no, Tina. Oh my God.
我爱你胜过
I have loved you more
我这辈子爱过的任何人
than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life.
真的吗
Really?
真的 - 那我们牵起双手
Yeah. - Let's hold hands.
然后"搞"一整夜吧
Okay. And let's screw all night.
一整夜吗 没问题的
All night? That's fine.
好吗 我想跟你一起玩桌游
And, okay? I wanna play board games with you.
还想跟你父母一起共进晚餐
I wanna have dinner with your parents.
我妈给你做了条裙子
My mom made you a dress.
给我讲讲蜘蛛侠吧
Tell me about Spider Man.
嘿 小火鸡 想要结婚吗
Hey, Turkey. Wanna get married?
这戒指贵得一逼啊
It's expensive as hell.
哦 太棒啦
Oh, yes.
太棒啦
Yes!
太棒啦啦啦
Yes! Yes!
Lipinski舰长 咱们打开气压舱然后庆祝一下吧
Captain Lipinski, let's open the airlocks and go celebrate.
酒水我请客
The drinks are on me.
本舰长特此宣布 任务结束
I hereby declare this mission over.
我的天 Karen 别
Oh my god, Karen no.
Stewart 你到底想干什么
Stewart, what are you doing!
"这不是真的"这个想法并不是真的
The idea that this is not real is not real.
这场模拟测试也是模拟出来的
The simulation is simulated.
真实情况并没有这么复杂
It's not that complicated.
你到底在说什么啊
What are you talking about?
这是个陷阱
It's a trap.
他们想让我们打开气压舱
They're trying to get us to open airlock
让大家都被吸进太空去
so that we get sucked out into space.
他们是谁 - 我不知道
Who's trying? - I don't know.
别当个酸溜溜的输家
Don't be a sore loser.
Karen 在时间扭曲时发生的事都是真的
Karen, what happened to us in the time warp was real.
这个模拟测试
This simulation program
比你之前经历过的测试都要先进
is more advanced than anything you've ever experienced.
当然感觉很真实
Of course, it felt real.
舰长 打开气压舱
Captain, open the air locks.
不行
No.
Stewart 我不会让你毁掉这一切的
Stewart, you are not gonna blow this for me.
从按钮那走开
Get away from the button.
走 走开 走开 啊
Get, get away, get away, aah!
别 别这样 Karen 你会害死大家的
No, no, no, no. Karen, you're gonna kill us all.
Karen
Karen.
Tina刚刚告诉我她爱上了我
Tina just told me that she's in love with me.
你说这事绝不可能
You said that, that would never happen in
即使再过一百万年 - 即使再过一百万年
a million years. - A million years.
你弟弟就是个白♥痴♥
Your brother's a fool.
现在 打开气压舱 我会解释这一切
Now, open the airlocks and I'll explain everything,
Lipinski上将
Admiral Lipinski.
快看
Look!
升起防护罩
Increase the shields!
他妈的那是什么玩意儿
What the hell was that?
不知道
I don't know.
所以之前的事都是假的
So that was fake?
大家把我当回事是假的
People taking me seriously.
Ted
Ted?
我妈妈的爱
My mother's love.
我的三明治怎么了
What happened to my sandwich?
Stewart 我能进去吗
Stewart, can I come in?
激活门锁 - 撤销指令
Activate door lock. - Override.
撤销撤销指令 - 撤销撤销撤销指令
Override override. - Override override override.
大家伙都怎么样
How's the crew?
士气低落
Depressed.
糟糕至极啊
What a mess.
Tina并不爱我
Tina doesn't love me.
我们只剩下软糖可以吃
All we have to eat is fudge.
某种东西想要杀了大家
Something is trying to kill us
我不知道怎么带大家离开这里
and I have no idea how to get us out of here
最打击我的是 你讨厌我
and on top of everything, you hate me.
我并不讨厌你
I don't hate you.
你的幻境的的确确是把我炒了
Your fantasy is literally me getting fired.
为什么非要这么为难我
Why do you have to be such a jerk?
因为我已经厌倦了费力
Because I'm tired of busting my ass