异空漫游（2015）

等会 我们刚刚是让这个家伙进来吗
Wait I'm sorry are we just letting this guy in?
伙计们 我们千里迢迢来到这里
Guys. We didn't come all the way here
还不和外星人交流下吗
not to interact with an alien.
好吧 我的直觉告诉我
Okay my gut instinct tells
我们这两个物种有好多能分享的
me that both our species have a lot to share.
知识啊 智慧啊 民间和其他各样的故事
Knowledge, wisdom, stories both folksy and otherwise.
Stewart是对的 我们让他进来吧 击晕他
Stewart's right, let's let him in, stun him,
榨取他的智慧 然后回家
probe him for wisdom, and go home.
可能某些感兴趣的人
Perhaps some interested parties
能从这外星人身上刮点样本吧
could cleave off a sample of said alien.
当然能 人人有份
Sure can, everybody gets a chunk.
好了 我完全赞成要谨慎一些
Okay, I'm all for being cautious
但是我们也不要先发制人去电击和切片
but let's not preemptively stun and slice.
你是在建议我们不要抢先攻击他吗
Are you suggesting that we preemptively not stun him?
这难道不疯狂吗
How is that any less crazy?
好吧 吃掉它是纳入考虑的选项之一吗
Okay, is eating it an option that's on the table?
好恶心 - 我就是问问
Gross. - I was just asking.
我们能尽快做决定吗
Can we just decide soon,
他就在外面漂着呢
because he's just floating out there.
很尴尬啊
It's awkward.
和平的生物不会按喇叭的 Stewart
Peaceful beings don't honk, Stewart.
我为它担♥保♥
I'll vouch for it.
这么着 我要宣告"船长保证"
In fact, I'm declaring Captain's vouch.
我们会在六小时内回家
We're going home in six hours.
我们能不能就完成这项
Can we please just complete
人类对智慧生命的探索呢
humankind's search for intelligent life?
生物扫描完成
Bio scan complete.
未检测到病原体
No pathogens detected.
宇宙翻译器准备好了吗
Universal translators ready?
准备好了 船长
Ready, Captain.
我牙上没东西吧
Nothing in my teeth.
没 - 太好了 让我们放手一搏吧
No. - Great, let's do this.
我爱你们大家
I love you guys.
我们听到有掌声然后
Hey, we heard applause and...
Art
Art.
别开闪光灯 淡定点
No flash photography. Be cool.
拜托 三只眼
Come on. Three eyes?
多可笑啊
That's bananas.
不管你是谁 我代表地球 联♥合♥国♥
Any who, on behalf of the planet Earth, the United Nations,
宇宙测绘项目和美♥利♥坚♥合众国
the Universal Mapping Project and the United States of America.
乌兹别克斯坦
Uzbekistan.
还有 乌兹别克斯坦
And, Uzbekistan.
和Bogo Jing - 和Bogo Jing
And, Bogo Jing. - And, Bogo Jing.
以及 巴恩斯牌智能枕头
And, Barnes brand smart pillows.
天啊 各位
Jesus, guys.
以及 巴恩斯牌智能枕头
And, Barnes brand smart pillows.
我们 作为UMP巡航舰的船员
We, the crew of the UMP cruiser
欢迎您登船
welcome you aboard
本着和平与友好的精神
in the spirit of peace and friendship.
全副武装的友好
Heavily armed friendship.
意思就是 放聪明点
Just saying, be smart.
我们期待与您的物种建立联♥系♥
We look forward to forging a bond with your kind,
并且一起努力
and working together to
增进我们双方对于
expand our mutual understanding of this,
这次名为生物存在旅程的了解
the journey known as existence.
而且我们已准备让您
And we are prepared to allow you to
有限地品尝我们的本土食物
sample limited amounts of our native foods.
有限地
Limited.
最后 请注意您目前正在被记录中
Finally, be advised that you are currently being recorded,
您的形象可能会被用于
and your likeness may be used in
将来宇宙测绘项目的宣传资料
future promotional materials from the Universal Mapping Project.
和Bogo Jing的 - 该死
And Bogo Jing. - Goddamn it.
和Bogo Jing的
And Bogo Jing.
好了 全说完了
Okay, all done.
跟我们说说你自己吧
So tell us about yourself.
哇哦他亮家伙了 - 好赞哦
Woah he's got a thing. - Amazing...
别 别 别 别走
No, no, no, no, no, don't go.
你还没告诉我们这东西是干嘛的
Hey you didn't tell us what your thing does.
Natasha 这是什么鬼声音
Natasha what the hell is that?
宇宙碰撞开始比我估计的早了一些
The inter-universe collision has begun earlier than I projected.
时空涟漪将在不到一小时内打开
The ripple will open in less than an hour.
宝贝
Baby?
你错过了估算的时间点
You missed your calculation?
我从未出过这种事
This never happens to me.
如果我们要回家 最好现在就走
If we're gonna go home, we gotta go home now.
好了 交流很愉快 谢谢
All right, it's been fun, thanks.
我们没有时间来生成吸收护盾了 也就是说
We don't have time to generate absorption shields, all right.
这将会是一次颠簸的旅行
It's gonna be a bumpy trip.
我能建议将所有非飞行必要的船员
May I suggest that we send all non flight essential crew members
在跳入前转为安全模式吗
into safety mode before the jump?
是 好主意 - 好的
Yes. Good idea. - Okay.
各位除了Karen Michae和我
Everyone except Karen, Michael and me
其他人都去全息室
go to the holography room.
一旦得到信♥号♥♥
When you get word,
就进到各自的生存密封箱里去
seal yourselves in your survival coffin.
祝好运
Good luck.
Natasha 你要想的话 可以和Kent一起走的
Natasha, if you want, you can go with Kent.
这里我们能搞定的
We can handle things up here.
我不知道跳入之后会发生什么
Hey, I don't know what's gonna happen after the jump.
所以 以防万一
So, just in case,
谢谢你所做的一切
thanks for everything.
你永远是我亲爱的小姑娘
You'll always be my baby girl.
并不是
That's not true.
舰队中还有很多飞船
There are plenty of ships in the fleet.
但是谢谢你 船长
But thank you, Captain.
看在旧日的情分上
For old time's sake?
电梯告别
Elevator.
太经典了
Classic!
真是我的好姑娘
That's my girl.
很快我们就要到家了
Soon we'll be home,
而我将能打造一笔全新的遗留财富
and I'll be able to forge a whole new legacy.
迎接"空间探索器"的名号♥
Hello, space explorer.
不再是"发战争财的"和"养老金贼"
Good-bye war profiteer and pension thief.
我们似乎的确能
It does seem likely that we will receive
在回到家的时候收获赞誉
great acclaim when we return home.
当然 除了Natasha
Except for Natasha, of course,
她基本上会被实施安乐死
whose essentially going to be euthanized.
但对我们其他人来说应该会还不错
But for the rest of us it should work out quite nicely.
他们要杀死你吗
Oh, they're gonna kill you?
没事的
It's all right.
我们被设定为不惧怕终结
We are programmed not to fear the end.
但是我会想你的
But I will miss you.
你看的是Kent
You looked at Kent
但是Tina才是跟你说话的那个
but Tina was the one talking to you.
Art 没关系的
Art, it's fine.
这是个迷惑性错误啊
That was a baffling error.
也许她是该被处理掉
Maybe she should be put down.
Natasha 我们在一起的时光
Natasha, our time together
是我一生中最不凄惨的时光之一
has been one of the least tragic periods of my entire life.
我很享受我们的眉目传情
I've enjoyed our furtive glances.
我们简短的互诉爱意
Our brief I love you's.
和我们对每一个同事
And our frank and devastating appraisals
既直白又具有打击性的吐槽
of each and every one of our coworkers.
唯一我们还没有经历过的仪式就是
The only ritual that we haven't experienced is,
人们所说的
what one would call,
初次约会 -好有爱
a first date. - So cute.
你们两个怪胎最终还是想像正常人一样
You two freaks wanna be normal, after all.
没有身体要怎么约会
How you gonna date without a body?
我不能接受这种事
I will not stand for this.
任何人 无论有多虚假或者恶心
Everyone, regardless of how fake or gross,