异空漫游（2015）

血统上的意大利人吗 并不是
Italian by birth? No.
但我是坚持意大利传统的意大利人
But I maintain I am Italian by tradition,
我对披萨的喜爱是有据可查的
my fondness for pizza is well documented.
你怎么敢
How dare you.
表面看是个耳光
What appears to be a slap
其实只是一个习俗手势 好吗
was merely a customary gesture, okay?
所以如果你判定我
So if you were going to find me guilty of
触犯UMP禁止扇耳光的规定
violating UMP's policy against slapping,
那你应该判定你自己
then you should find yourselves
违反了UMP更严重的反种族歧视规定
guilty of violating UMP's even more serious policy against racism.
你不知道奥贝罗豁免权吗 Tina
You don't know the Obello Exemption, Tina?
查查你那宝贵的人力资源手册吧
Well, check your precious HR manual.
里面有写
It's in there.
好吧 我得查查合作的
Yeah, no, I mean, I just have to check the cooperation of the...
我需要一点时间
Yeah, I'm just gonna take a second.
你这个怪物
You're a monster.
明明是你想让我被开除
You're the one trying to get me fired.
如果你就这么对待关心你的人
Well, if this is the way you treat people who care about you,
也许你应该被开除
maybe you should be fired.
Michael 听我说
Michael, listen to me.
我们马上就要回家了
We are going to be home soon and
让我们把这些疯狂的事都抛在脑后
we are going to put all this craziness behind us,
这样我们才可以开始考虑
and we can finally start to think
我们之间到底会怎么样
about what's going to be with you and me.
你不会想做那个阻止我
And I don't think that you want to be somebody who stops me
成为舰长的人
from making captain.
你真奇葩 你都不道歉下吗
Amazing, you won't even apologize?
你恐怕没那么走运了 舰长大人
Well I'm afraid you're out of luck, Captain,
哦对 你还不是舰长
oh wait, you're not a captain
而且你永远也当不上
and you're never gonna be one.
轻微的肢体触碰 可以得到豁免
There is a possible exemption for light contact.
我的朋友
Mi amigo.
那是西班牙语
That's Spanish.
监测到身体暴♥力♥
Physical violence detected.
监测到身体暴♥力♥
Physical violence detected.
监测到身体暴♥力♥
Physical violence detected.
我懂 我懂 我都懂 你们是对的
I know, I know, I know you guys are right.
我刚刚失控了
You know I was out of control.
开始意识到可以为所欲为
You start to realize you can put almost anything almost anywhere.
归根究底
You know when it comes right down to it
我们就是下半身动物
we're all just sticks and holes.
是时候从你的朋友Stewart
It's time your friend Stewart
切换成Lipinski舰长了
became Captain Lipinski again.
那恭喜你升职了
Well congratulations on your promotion.
很好 那么交出你所有的拉马
Cool, so just give all the lammies you have
我来扔掉它们
and I'll throw them away.
还是我来扔吧
Why don't I just throw them away.
不 你已经够忙了
No, you've got so much on your plate.
不忙 我就像平常一样干坐着
No, I just usually just sit here.
是 但Zalian 你如此擅长干坐着 还是我来吧
Yeah, but Zalian you're so good at it so I'll take care of it.
求你了 让我找到那个信标频率
Please I just need that beacon frequency,
就差一次了 拜托了
I'm one dream away, please.
Zalian
Zalian.
你回避下
Leave us.
场面会很难堪
This could get ugly.
你知道他把药藏哪儿了 是吧
You know where he hides them, right?
我知道 就在通风面板后面
I know it's inside that air ventilation panel.
密♥码♥是什么
What's the passcode?
我这是为你好
I'm doing this for y ou.
不
No!
快开开 快开开 你别睡呀
Open that, open up, don't you fall asleep!
不
No!
别呀 取消睡眠模式
Don't, get out of sleep mode,
取消 Art 求你了
get out, Art, please.
Natasha
Natasha.
请求交谈
Request conversation.
准许 但你必须同意 本次交谈由我开始
Granted, with the provision that I be permitted to begin said conversation.
同意
Agreed.
请知悉 我的言论是致歉性质的
Be advised that my intended comments are apologetic in nature.
我反思了下
After some reflection
发现之前的愤怒都是不应该的
I have concluded that my anger was misplaced.
你一如既往 是对的
You were, as always, correct.
我们维持交往的概率 几乎不存在
The odds of our relationship surviving are effectively nonexistent.
以我们目前的形态 的确是
In our current forms.
但是 我已经头脑风暴出一些可行的方案
However, I have been brainstorming some practical solutions.
方案一
Solution the first,
我可以摘除并出♥售♥一些多余的器官
I could harvest and sell some of my spare organs,
眼睛 生殖器 都是上等货
eyes, genitals, the glamour stuff.
不 - 从黑市上捞点钱
No. - Get some money on the black market,
给你买♥♥个电子生化躯体
and use it to by a cyborg body for you.
方案二
Solution the second,
我们可以重新把你的正电子矩阵
we could remap your positronic matrix
映射到一个容易上当的海豚脑内
onto a gullible dolphin's brain.
我们只要找到一只蠢海豚
We just have to find a stupid dolphin.
一些海豚真的很聪明 - 很聪明
Some of them are very smart. - Very.
极具欺骗性 他们看上去像笨蛋 但是
Deceptively, so. They seem like morons, but
却有着 深邃的灵魂
they have a deep, deep inner life.
也可以用我的器官
They could also take my organs,
试着克隆一个躯体给你
try and clone a body for you.
当然 我没有相应资质 这严重违背医学伦理
Of course I'm not licensed, it would be a gross violation of medical ethics.
但宝贝 我想像弗兰肯斯坦一样给你一个肉身
But baby, I'd love to Frankenstein you into a meat husk.
我很想做你的弗兰肯斯坦
I'd love to be Frankensteined.
当然 你会变盲
Of course, you would be blind.
只会尖叫 - 哦 Kent
All you could do was scream. - Oh, Kent.
我知道 只有一半的想法是可行的
I know. Barely half those ideas even sound workable.
不是这个
It's not that.
Tina刚让我调出
Tina just asked me to pull up the UMP HR Manual
查个意大利的问候礼节
for Italian greeting rituals.
我往下读 发现了这个
I continue to read on and found this.
Lee Main不是教父的最初扮演者
Lee Main did not play the original Vito Corleone.
有趣的八卦 但不是我要说的
Fun fact, but no, that's not what I was talking about.
我想看那八卦的消息来源
Like to see a source.
是我们回去后的标准政策
It's standard policy that when we return home,
UMP会彻底地 - 抹除你的记忆
UMP completely... - Wipes your memory.
还有我所有衣服 我猜
And my wardrobe, I'm guessing.
把你重置为一块空白的屏幕 给继任船员
Leaves you refreshed, a blank slate for a subsequent crew.
我不会记得任何个人的 - 人性
I won't remember anything of a personal - Nature.
为了保护船员的隐私
In an effort to preserve privacy of the crew.
我提前读完了 我很快把整篇读完了
I read ahead. I read the whole thing very quickly.
我喜欢你读得快
I love how fast you read.
但是你不会记得
But you won't remember.
你不会记得任何有关我的事情
You won't remember anything about me.
不会
Nothing.
要不 我们忽悠一只海豚
Unless, we double cross the dolphin.
让他以为在为我们工作
Make him think he's working for us.
用他来开♥发♥一种病毒
Use him to develop a virus.
我们就好好享受在一起的时光吧
Let's just enjoy the time that we have together,
别想什么海豚了
leave the dolphin out of it.
我们来数星星吧
Shall we count the stars?
2941 - 41
2,941. - And 41.
脸还好吗
How's your face?
右脸还好
Right side is fine.
左脸还是很痛
Left side is still pretty messed up.
你让Natasha看了吗
Did you let Natasha look at it?
她说她在处理一些事情
She said she was going through some stuff.
让我不要像个孩子 要自己注意点
For me not to be a baby and to keep an eye on it.
我一直都是这样
Which I have been
不过我感觉越来越糟了
and I think it's getting worse.
天呐
God,
Michael 我们一直忽视你
Michael we all treat you like you don't even matter,