异空漫游（2015）

推进器加速23% 舰长
Thrust drive up 23%, Captain.
引擎降低485万转 舰长
Engine variant down 4.85 millicycles, Captain.
航向方位右转12度进入B-48象限
Course bearing 12 degrees starboard into quadrant B-48.
是否需要修正 舰长
Should we compensate, Captain?
舰长
Captain?
啊 需要 修正系数6.9%
Oh, yeah, compensate 6.9%.
还有 我给大家生成了热狗
Also, I had some hot dogs generated for you guys.
你们懂的 我个人表达感谢的方式
You know, it's just my way of saying thanks.
即将离开小行星群
About to exit asteroid field.
很好
Good.
等安全之后 就来吃热狗
Once we're clear, it's hot dog time.
所有人没有例外 Kyle
No exceptions Kyle.
我不想听辟谷那一套
I don't wanna hear about that cleanse.
我逗你呢Kyle
I'm kidding Kyle.
你能和肥胖奋勇斗争我们都替你高兴
We're really happy you're fighting your obesity.
距离1000秒差距处C象限中 不明物体正在靠近
Unidentified object coming towards us at 1,000 parsecs from C quadrant.
升起防护罩 启动投影分♥析♥
Increase shields, activate projection analysis.
防护罩失效 长官
Negative shields, sir.
当前能量消耗85%
We're showing a power drain of 85%.
妈蛋 是颗离子小行星
Oh, crap, it's an ion asteroid.
启动124号♥规避协议
Activate evasive protocol 124.
10秒后发生撞击 来不及绕开了
Ten seconds to impact, there's no time to get around it.
进行乏燃料清理爆破
Run a spent fuel clean out burst
由前向排气管射出
through the forward venting tubes.
那样会毁了这艘飞舰的
That could destroy the ship.
多谢告知啊 照我说的做
Good to know. Do it.
棒呆了
Yes.
真叫人眼前一亮啊 Lipinski
Impressive, Lipinski.
完全不走寻常路
That was highly unorthodox.
这项模拟测试都实行这么多年了
No one's ever thought to do a clean out burst
还从来没有人想到过进行清理爆破
in all the years we've done this simulation.
你怎么想到的
How did you think to do that?
我有过敏症
I have allergies.
还有乳糖不耐症
And I'm also lactose intolerant
所以有时候会打很猛的喷嚏
So you know sometimes I have these explosive sneezes.
就像是放屁打喷嚏连击
It's like a fart sneeze combo.
所以 我想飞舰要是屁嚏连击会怎样呢
And so, I thought you know what if the ship fart sneezed.
你们觉得我是个傻♥逼♥ 对不对
You guys think I'm an idiot, don't you?
你们真的要任命我为舰长给我配飞舰吗
You're making me captain of my own ship?
Woolworth主席认为让年轻的新鲜面孔做舰长
Chairman Woolworth thinks having a fresh faced young captain
可能会让公众对测绘项目重拾兴趣
might get the public interest in it up again.
等等 公众已经没有兴趣了吗
Wait, has the public lost interest?
你也知道 我们只找到了石头和沙尘
You know, you only discover rocks and dust
而测绘宇宙已长达50年了
in 50 years of mapping the universe.
然后突然就没法甩掉那些
And suddenly you're stuck with
堆满了卖♥♥不掉的马克杯和T恤衫的仓库
warehouses full of unsold mugs and t-shirts.
我已经尽可能买♥♥买♥♥买♥♥了 十分抱歉
I tried to buy as many as I could, I'm sorry.
我还叫了朋友们一起买♥♥
I told all my friends to.
我们会赢回群众的 - 好吧
We'll get the public back. - Okay.
他们的态度每天都在变
Attitudes change every day.
你知道曾经
You know there was a time
所有男人都在脖子上围着长条织物
where all men wore long pieces of fabric around their necks
还管这叫做领带吗
and called them ties?
如今你能想像谁不戴领蛋的吗
Can you imagine a guy not wearing collar balls now?
啊 不好意思迟到了 各位
Oh. Sorry I'm late, everybody.
我得洗我的领蛋
I had to wash my balls.
隆重介绍Zalian 他是你的工程师
May I present Zalian, your engineer.
他会带你参观你的飞舰
He will show you around your ship.
Zalian Fletcher
Zalian Fletcher.
你是说我要接管的是巡航号♥吗
You mean I'm getting command of the Cruiser?
小时候我还有它的模型
I had a model of it when I was a kid,
我还有您的手办
I even had your action figure.
您就是个传说
You're a legend.
我小时候也有你的手办呢
I had your action figure when I was a kid.
什么
What?
这些年他在舰舱吸收了太多的辐射
He's absorbed his share of engine radiation over the years.
但是 以我们的预算 他依旧是行业内最好的
But, at our price level, he's still the best in the business.
我的天呐 今天真的太赞了
Oh, my God, this day is amazing.
巡航号♥
The Cruiser?
谁来掐我一下吧
Somebody pinch me.
好的 - 开玩笑的 我淤青体质
Okay. - Not really though I bruise fast.
等等 我姐姐测试结果怎么样
Wait, how did my sister do on the test?
惊为天人
Incredible.
你俩是这十年里首批通过A-19模拟测试的学员
You and she are the first cadets in ten years to pass simulation A-19.
啊 谢谢老天爷 那么她也有自己的飞舰了
Oh, thank god, so she's getting her own ship.
才不会
No way.
我们都很惧怕她
We're all terrified of her.
所以我们派她做你的副指挥
So we're making her your second in command.
大事不好
Oh, no.
Stewart
Stewart.
你在这儿干什么呢
What are you doing here?
我们正通知Stewart
We were just telling Stewart
上任舰长 管理自己的飞船
that he's gonna be the captain of his own ship.
而你将是他的副指挥
And you are gonna be his second in command,
以后直接向你的弟弟汇报
reporting directly to your younger brother.
是不是很有意思
Isn't that gonna be fun?
恭喜你啊 Stewart
Congratulations, Stewart.
谢谢你啊
Thank you?
出发还有一小时
One hour until departure.
所有未经授权人员请撤离
All unauthorized personnel, please exit.
瞧瞧我 大舰长
Look at me, Captain.
全员就位
All hands on deck.
激光发射
Fire the lasers.
激光准备中 舰长
Readying lasers, Captain.
啊 别别别 取消命令 我就开个玩笑
Oh, no, no, no, undo command, I was just kidding.
我没打算发射激光
I don't wanna fire any lasers.
就是试着玩玩 你懂的 显摆下我的权力
Just doing a bit, you know, abusing my power.
啊 欢迎光临 舰长
Oh, greetings Captain.
我叫Natasha
My name's Natasha.
我被编程来监控整个飞舰的运转
I'm programmed to monitor all ship functions,
联络指挥船
Communicate with command vessels.
提供数据分♥析♥和参考数据库
And provide data analyses and reference databases.
我的胸部和臀部你喜欢吗
Are my breasts and buttocks to your liking?
什 什么意思
Wh... what's that?
啊 理想情况下我要有足够魅力
Oh, well optimally I'd be attractive enough for
让你想在我面前好好干
you to want to perform well in front of me.
但又不能太吸引你
But not so attractive that
以至于你只想着好好干我
you'd fantasize about having sex with me.
那么
So?
我的双峰和美臀你可还满意
We're good in the north and the south?
当然 满意 满意
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
这样就可以吗
This good?
啊 这就够了
Oh, that's enough.
好 就这样 - 谢谢了 我告辞了
Good, okay. - Thank you, excuse me.
我走了之后你不会忘了我吧 对吗
You're not going to forget about me while I'm gone right?
Tina 当然不会
Tina, of course not.
瞧 有了这个通讯器
Look, with a communicator,
我们每晚都可以聊天
we can talk every night.
我还安装了高级感知软件
I even installed an upgraded sensation software
这样我们通过屏幕
So that our screen kisses
也能吻得那么逼真
will taste and feel just like the real thing.
你看
See?
你刚吃了番茄辣肉汉堡吗
Did you have Sloppy Joes?
是的
Yeah.
我不想出航 你刚刚打嗝了吗
I don't wanna go. Did you just burp?
对不起 宝贝
I'm sorry, baby.
我都不知道为什么偏偏选中我
I don't even know why they picked me for this thing,
班上我也不是前茅
I wasn't the top of my class,
我不知道谁选我当这个傻♥逼♥领航员的
I don't know who made me the stupid navigator!
嘿
Hey!