异空漫游（2015）

我们早就不通风了
Yeah, we're not doing that anymore.
这里有兴♥奋♥剂♥ 镇静剂
We've got uppers, downers,
致幻剂 笑气 新可♥卡♥因♥
screamers, laughers, new cocaine, and
还有经典可♥卡♥因♥
cocaine classic.
哇 好牛逼的收藏
Wow, what a collection.
Art 说你可能有一些好东西
Art mentioned that you might have something
能让我的梦 更带劲儿
that would give my dreams a little more oomph.
那种 带劲儿
Erotic oomph.
哦 是有一种药
Oh, there is one drug
可以激发那种梦
that is known to inspire those kinda dreams.
拉马费德罗 - 拉马费德罗
Llamaphederol. - Llamaphederol.
是的 - 你吃过拉马吗
Right. - Have you ever bopped a lammie?
试过一次
I did once.
以为我能承受得了
Thought I could handle it.
结果两天后 他们发现我卡在一堵墙里
They found me two days later stuck to a wall.
我需要这个 Zalian 作为朋友
I need this Zalian as a friend.
我觉得还是别了
I don't think so.
好吧 我是你的舰长
Okay, I'm your Captain.
不 - 这是命令
No. - That's an order.
Lipinski 舰长 真的是你
Captain Lipinski, it is you.
不嗑药我无法进行第一次接触
I can't make first contact clean.
这可能是永久改变历史进程的一次毒品交易
This could be the drug deal that changes history forever.
好吧 行
Okay, fine.
我不希望你吃一片以上
I don't want you taking more than one.
我不会的
I won't.
Lipinski 大副然后提出
First Officer Lipinski then suggested that
UMP领航员Tina Shukshin
UMP Navigator Tina Shukshin,
只能成功"领航"男性生殖器
is only able to successfully navigate a set of male genitalia.
你是说 她真用了"男性生殖器"这个词吗
Now did you say she actually used the words male genitalia?
是的
Yes.
Lipinski大副非常不喜欢用俚语
Officer Lipinski is extremely uncomfortable with slang.
俚语超傻♥逼♥
Slang is stupid.
为什么不用事物本来的名称呢
Why don't we just call things what they're called?
因为俚语蠢萌蠢萌的
Because it makes words silly and fun to say.
你刚说到哪儿了
You were saying?
大副曾经猜测过
There was some speculation about
领航员Shunkshin的智商水平
the difference in intelligence between Navigator Shukshin
是否等同于一堆等体积的排泄物
and that of a similarly sized lump of excrement.
据她说 差异微不足道
The difference was said to be negligible.
这太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
我的事业危在旦夕
My career is on the line here, and
仲裁员明显有利益冲突
our arbitrator has an obvious conflict of interest.
根据UMP规章第伽马章第19条
Per UMP Regulation Gamma 19,
当证词含有针对仲裁员的煽动性传言证据时
when the testimony includes inflammatory hearsay about the arbitrator,
仲裁员有权决定不撤换自己
the arbitrator then has the discretion to not recuse themselves.
检方举证完毕
Prosecution rests.
你又不是检方 你个智障
You're not the prosecution, you idiot.
你看到没
You see this?
第一天 我们处在重大发现的边缘
Day one, we're on the verge of a major discovery
前方的道路危机环饲
and the path is beset with dangers.
我录下这个视频日志
I'm recording this journal
作为给后人的指南和馈赠
as a guidebook and gift to future generations.
我准备要吃我的第一颗拉马了
I'm about to take my first lammie.
待命
Standby.
我唯一能做的就是待命
That's all I can do is standby.
枕头柔软度 很舒适
Pillow softness, very pleasant.
嗜睡度 增加中
Sleepiness, increasing.
勃起度 噢我天
Arousal, oh my.
坏消息 舰长 我们进入了一个平行宇宙
Bad news captain, we've entered an alternate universe.
快♥感♥宇宙
Of pleasure.
让我解除我的护盾
Let me lower my shields.
我准备好要♥射♥了♥
I am ready to eject.
你还真是单刀直入呀
Wow, you're just going right for it.
在以下频率启动雷达信标
Activating beacon on the following frequencies
我会联♥系♥你们的
and I will make contact.
他 他想让我们启动某种信标
He, he wants us to activate some sort of beacon.
我只需要计算出他所在的频率
I just need to calculate what frequency he's on.
Stew 我也不想放弃这种老式情♥色♥戏码
Stew, I hate to bail on some good old-fashioned smut,
但是 我 我得走了
but I, I should go.
如果你受不了这种诡异
If you're too weirded out by this
你可以离开
you can leave.
这只是小儿科
Ha, this is baby stuff.
还不是我喜欢的那种"小儿科"
Not even the kinda baby stuff I like,
成人穿纸尿裤 互相拍奶嗝什么的 - 天
where adults dress up in diapers and burp each other. - Jesus.
见鬼 你吃两片拉马我也不在乎
Heck, take two lammies, for all I care.
好吧
Okay.
哦天啊
Oh God.
Kent 你看起来不错
Kent, you're looking well.
我也觉得
Agreed.
提前警告一下
Fair warning.
等回到地球
When we return to Earth,
我会注册以下的约会网站
I will be signing up for the following match making services.
我只是不想让事情变得 尴尬
I just don't want things to be, awkward.
你知道的 万一你看到了一份
You know, should you happen to stumble upon
我完美无缺 老少通吃的相亲档案
one of my flawless universally compatible profiles.
谢谢你的警告
Thank you for the warning.
我明白你需要人类的陪伴
I understand that you need human companionship,
祝你找到一个值得相伴的人
and I wish you the best of luck finding someone.
也就是说 我没有成功地让你嫉妒
In other words, I have not succeeded in making you jealous?
我没意识到这才是你的目标
Well, I did not realize that that was your goal.
但 没有 你没成功 - 噢
But no, you have not succeeded. - Oh.
虽然你不在屏幕上
Even though you are not visible on the screen,
从任何意义上来讲 你还是在这里
you are still for all intents and purposes here.
Natasha 你太不理智了
Natasha, you're behaving irrationally.
我们之间的纽带 锻造于冷酷逻辑的白色赤焰
And our bond was forged in the white hot flames of cold logic.
爱是没有理性的
There's nothing rational about love.
难以置信 我竟然在一个图灵机面前捍卫逻辑
I can't believe I'm defending logic to a turing machine.
我真走了 好好习惯没有我的生活吧
I'm really leaving now so get used to life without me.
嗨Stewart 怎么样了
Hi Stewart, how's it going?
你找到那个外星人了吗
You find that alien yet?
还没有 我这次吃了两颗拉马
Not yet, I actually took two lammies this time
但是感觉好像没用
but I don't think it worked.
想不想要加倍的乐趣 跟我们双胞胎一起翻滚
You wanna double your fun, bump around with me and my twin?
好的呀
Yes?
你好 我是Tina
What's up, I'm Tina.
你说得对 他是挺可爱的
Hey you were right, he's pretty cute.
噢天哪 异卵双胞胎
Oh dear god, they're fraternal.
快关掉
Turn it off.
你什么毛病啊
What's wrong with you?
我马上就要解码那个信息了
I was so close to decoding the message.
我以为你也希望这样
I thought this was what you wanted.
看一个熟人做春梦
Watching an acquaintance fantasize about sex
理论上是个绝妙的主意
was a wonderful idea in theory,
然而不知怎么的 突然感觉有点恶心
but somewhere, somehow, it started to feel yucky.
我们必须找到那个信标的频率
We need to find that beacon frequency,
你必须帮我 不然
and you're gonna help me, or else.
"做欧巴 不做恶霸" Stewart
Be a buddy not a bully, Stewart.
反正我也不需要你
I don't need you anyway.
我不知道你是谁
I don't know who you are
但是我来找你了
but I'm coming for you.
我准备好做出裁决了
Well, I think I'm ready to make my decision.
我要声明一下
Well, I'd like to make a statement.
事实是 我确实扇了你耳光
The truth is, I did slap you.
是的 我知道
Yes, I know that.
是的 - 但是那是一个轻轻的耳光
Yeah. - Yeah, but it was a light slap.
在地球上的意大利那不勒斯
And in Naples, Italy, on Earth,
这是一种叫奥贝罗的手势
it is a gesture known as Obello.
它被认为是没有恶意的
It is considered harmless,
这是我跟所有朋友打招呼的方式
this is the way that I greet all of my friends.
你姓Lipinski 好吗
Your last name is Lipinski.