异空漫游（2015）

I never noticed that.
从来没有 一次也没
Like, not ever, not once.
没有 - 从没有
Ever. - Never.
我们在学院里曾是实验室搭档
We were lab partners in the academy.
他不小心把硼酸全泼在我们的飞行服上
He accidentally spilled boric acid all over our flight suits.
我们的衣服全被化学品烧穿 都光屁♥股♥了
And there we were bottomless in the chemical showers.
你可以想象得到接下来发生了什么
You can guess what happened next.
你们干上了
Yeah, you got it on.
我们硼酸中毒了
We got boric acid poisoning.
自从那次后 他好像完全被我迷住了
He's, like, been completely obsessed with me ever since.
你说的是我们都认识的那个Michael吗
Are you talking about the Michael that we know?
是啊 - 是迈克尔杰克逊堡吗
Yeah. - Is it Michael Jacksonburg?
不是 是这个飞船上的Michael
No, the Michael from the ship,
我的故事已经说的很清楚了
my story made that perfectly clear.
这个Michael - 那个Michael
This Michael? - That Michael?
Natasha你很漂亮
Oh, Natasha you look nice.
Tina你很漂亮
Tina you look nice.
谢谢
Thank you.
Karen你很漂亮
Karen you look nice.
你也很帅
You look nice too.
她完全失控了
She's out of control.
这个逃生舱有3.5米宽 5米长
So this pod is three and a half meters wide and five meters long.
这意味着六个人 加Art 加食物 加武器
Which means six adults, plus Art, plus rations, plus weaponry.
自定义阴♥茎♥是什么样的
What is the default penis look like.
什么
What?
就是标准款式
You know the standard model.
我该渴望的柏拉图式理想型是什么样的呢
What's the platonic ideal that I should be pining for?
在学院那会儿
Back in the academy
所有人的都和我的看起来不一样
all the other guys looked different than mine.
当然这可能是选择性偏差
Of course it's probably selection bias.
我只看了愿意向我展示的人的阴♥茎♥
These are the people who wanted to show me their penises.
拜托不要再说那个词了
Please stop saying that word.
哦 Art
Oh, Art.
你能给我搭把手吗 - 马上
Can you give me a hand with this? - In a minute.
这场戏有可能终于有趣起来了
I think this might finally be getting interesting.
哦 是的 我记得那次
Oh, yeah. I know that one.
就是他们在塞多纳滑翔那次 对吧
That's the one where they hang glide in Sedona, right?
不是 你说的那是塞多纳航♥空♥
No, no, no. You're thinking of Sedona Air,
也有Lee Mayne参加
which also had Lee Mayne in it.
并没有趣 仍然是折磨
Nope. Torture.
纯粹不折不扣的折磨
Pure, unadulterated torture.
我的不一样
Mine's not the same.
不在于外表 不在于手感
Not in look, not in feel,
而是香气 - Kent
aroma. - Kent!
我很感谢你帮我测量逃生舱
I appreciate you helping me measure this escape pod,
但我是在这儿制定逃生计划
but I'm trying to formulate a survival plan here.
我陪着你呀
And I am with you.
我下载了飞船电脑里所有
I downloaded all the movies in the ship's computer
简介里带有关键词"兄弟" "男孩" "男人"的电影
whose descriptions included the keywords guys, boys, or men.
当然了 - 先来一部<皮克斯的男孩>
Of course, you did. - First up is Pixar's Boys.
是什么
Is it?
讲当时无名的声乐人才Lee Mayne的片子
Featuring the vocal talent of the then unknown, Lee Mayne.
你所需要的是一个会欣赏优质苹果的男人
What you need is a guy who appreciates quality apples.
我们得把这个关掉 我们得回去工作了
We gotta turn this off, we gotta get back to work.
你在说什么 你就这么走了
What are you saying? You're just gonna walk away?
我们的生死全靠这次回收任务了
Our lives depend on this retrieval mission
而这个好无聊啊
and this is boring.
当真人秀的狗血不够多的时候
When reality doesn't have enough drama in it,
你不能就这么放弃 你插一脚啊
you don't just give up, you intervene.
做一回上帝不会伤害任何人
Playing a little God never hurt anyone.
启动龙舌兰酒程序
Initiate a tequila protocol.
是时候让派对开始了
It's time to get this party started.
就是这个 这就是我说的
Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
这东西哪来的
Oh, where did this come from?
你问了一个问题 就要喝一杯
Oh, you asked a question, you got to take a shot.
这怎么就是规矩了
How is that a rule?
Karen问了一个问题 Karen喝一杯
Karen asked a question, Karen takes a shot.
我有个问题
I have a question.
我能来一杯吗
Can I take a shot?
好吧 新规矩
All right, new rule.
谁都不许喝酒
No shots for anybody.
听我说
Listen to me.
我们只有不到五个小时去开采燃料了
We've got less than five hours to mine this fuel.
你是飞船上唯一一个能做这件事的人
And your are the only person on this ship who can do it.
如果你做不到
And if you don't do it,
我们都会被困在这寒冷虚无的太空里
we will be stuck here in the freezing nothingness of space.
好吗
All right?
你猜怎么着 Karen
Guess what, Karen?
我已经迷失在Ted甩了我的寒冷虚无里
I'm already lost in the freezing nothingness of Ted dumped me.
还猜什么来着
So guess what again, also?
我要喝到自己尽兴
I'm gonna drink until I like myself.
或者喝屎我们自己
Or until we shit ourselves.
就看哪个先发生了
Whatever comes first.
好吧
Okay.
敬女孩之夜
To Girls Night.
还是得搞清音乐是哪儿来的
Still have to find out where that music's coming from.
我知道 我需要这个播放列表
I know, I need this playlist.
Natasha 在行星定型之前我们还有四个小时
Natasha, we have four hours until that planet cools.
你有什么新消息吗 - 有的 我有一条更新
Do you have any updates? - Yeah, I got an update.
你的瞳孔放大了
Your pupils are dilating!
有人发♥骚♥了
Somebody's horny.
是我 是我
It's me. It's me.
你也是 你也发♥骚♥了
You too, you horny too!
跟你说 我这么做都是为了
So you know, I'm only doing this
让Tina完成明天的开采
so Tina kills that extraction tomorrow.
并不是说我和你一起玩很有意思
It's not like I'm having any fun with you.
跟你玩我也觉得没意思
Like I am not having any fun with you.
我讨厌这事
I hate this.
我们这么做只是为了任务
And we're only doing this for a mission, so.
*背靠背我的朋友你知道这是真的*
*Back to back my friend you know it's true,*
*因为男孩们也是人*
*because boys are people too.*
好极了
Excellent.
*没错*
*That's right.*
有那么一阵子 男主看起来
For a while, it seemed like the central boy
似乎不能成功追到女主
might not succeed in wooing the central girl.
但是 经过一段时间 他做到了
But, in time, he did.
那样纯净又令人满意
Something clean and satisfying about that.
在现实生活中不总是这样 Kent
Well, it doesn't always work that way in real life, Kent.
有时候男主没有回头路的
You know, sometimes the central boy never gets life back.
真遗憾
That's a shame.
是啊
Yeah.
好了 没有办法可以
Okay, there's no way
让我们八个人都在逃生舱里活下来
that all eight of us are gonna subsist in this escape pod.
我是说 太重了
I mean, it's too heavy.
太拥挤了 没有足够的食物
It's too crowded, and there's not enough food.
不是显而易见吗
Wasn't that obvious?
我刚来这里的时侯就明白了
I realized that the second I came in here.
Kent 没有后备计划了
Kent, there is no plan B.
Tina必须开采那些燃料
Tina needs to extract that fuel.
懂吗 必须是Tina
Okay? It has to be Tina.
女生之夜派对得起作用
We need girl's night to work.
我对此高度怀疑
I highly doubt that it will.
再多的女孩也填补不了一个男孩形状的洞
No amount of girls can fill a boy shaped hole.
等等 你是说
Wait, so what you're,
你是说我们要给Tina找个男人
what you're saying is we need to find Tina a man?
谁 谁 你认为应该是谁
Who, who, who do you think it should be?
我想这应该是你 先生
Well, I suppose it should be you, sir.
是的 是的
Yeah, yeah.
你成功带领这艘飞船
You have successfully led this ship
度过一个又一个
through a series of increasingly
前所未有的难关