异空漫游（2015）

这又不是我的职责
It's not my job.
应该是飞舰的工程师去
The ship's engineer is supposed to...
哦 该死 是Zalian
Oh, no, Zalian.
天 我本来要去的
Oh man, I was.
我完全给抛到九霄云外去了
Oh, I totally spaced it out.
那你是不是还忘了
Did you also space out
在没有食物的情况下
how we're supposed to survive a year
我们该如何在飞舰上生存一年
on this ship with no food?
你说食物啊
Oh, food?
我这儿有人人都能吃的食物
I got food here we can all use.
喔
Oh.
嗯
Mm.
我去你个软糖啊
Oh, fudge me.
这很酷了
This is so cool.
但我觉得我们不能一整年都吃软糖吧
But I don't think we can eat fudge for a year.
哦 随便你们了 这可是超级食物
Oh, suit yourself. It's a superfood.
我已经十年没撒过尿了
I haven't pee'd in a decade.
还有谁觉得脑袋要爆♥炸♥了吗
And does anybody else feel like their head's about to explode?
那只是辐射在作祟
Oh, that's just the radiation.
你会习惯的
You'll get used to it.
事实上 辐射会腐蚀你大脑中感到疼痛的那部分
In fact, it rots the part of your brain that feels pain.
看来我们得掉头回去多弄点食物了
Well, I guess, we have to turn back and get more food.
天呐 我一定要出大丑了
God, I'm gonna look like such an idiot.
喂 没长眼啊 我正梦见电子羊呐
Ow. Can't you see, I'm dreaming of electric sheep here?
你谁啊 - 嘿 这是我的好友 Art
Who are you? - Hey, this is my buddy, Art.
他最好了
He's the best.
我不记得舰队名单上有个机器人啊
I don't think I remember seeing a robot on the crew manifest.
你提供什么功能
What function do you serve?
哦 啥都不提供
Oh. None whatsoever.
我就像曾经的太空流浪者一样
I'm riding the intergalactic rails
驰骋于星际轨道
like the space hobos of yore.
所以 你忘了带能吃的食物
So, you forgot to bring usable food,
却成功带上来个偷乘者
but you managed to bring along a stowaway?
带我们回去吧 Tina - 哦 谢天谢地
Take us home, Tina. - Oh, thank God.
我是说 遵命 长官
I mean, yes sir.
啊 哦 天呐
Ow. Oh, god.
她是真的很想回到那个
She really wants to get back to
傻♥逼♥瑞典男朋友身边啊
that stupid Swedish boyfriend of hers.
Tina 麻烦你轻点踩油门
Tina, go easy on the gas, please.
老兄 刚才不是我♥干♥的啊
Dude, I didn't do that.
她没骗你 我的引擎并没加速
She's not kidding, my engines didn't accelerate.
去驾驶台
To the bridge.
全都失灵了
Nothing's responding.
我们的行驶速度是多少
What's our speed?
每小时15万海里 加速度每秒3公里
0.15 mega knots increasing by three klicks per second.
我们被困在重力场里了
We're caught in a gravitational field.
这大概是由Michael洒出的水引起的
It's probably because that water Michael spilled.
我已经清理干净了 我可以给你看下毛巾 舰长
I cleaned it up, I can show you the towel, Captain.
不许在驾驶台喝饮料 Michael
No beverages in the bridge, Michael.
执行逃离协议 Stewart
Run an escape protocol, Stewart.
别使唤我
Don't mom me.
启动159号♥逃离协议
Start escape protocol 159.
天呐 快看
Oh my God, look.
启动反向推进器 - 我们没有动力了
Reverse thrusters. - We have no power.
有我呢 伙计
I got you buddy.
还有谁刚刚变成了婴儿的
Was anyone else just a baby?
我们这是在哪儿啊
Where are we?
哈喽 新朋友们
Hello? New friends?
嘿 各位 谁瞎玩灯光了吗
Hey, guys, who messed with the lights?
天呐
Jeez.
重启完毕 更新衣着
Reboot complete, updating wardrobe.
Natasha 刚刚发生了什么事
Natasha, what just happened?
初步数据显示 我们遇到了一个
Preliminary data shows that we encountered
处在我们宇宙和某个平行实体之间的裂隙
a rupture between our universe and some parallel entity.
我认为我们撞上了一个膜
I believe we hit a brane.
膜是膜结构的简称
Brane is short for membrane.
膜理论认为 我们的宇宙就像
Brane theory says that our universe is like
一个又大又平的水母
a large, flat jellyfish.
浮在水面上
Floating on the water
被同样在漂浮的其他宇宙所包围
surrounded by other universes doing the exact same thing.
有时 它们会撞到彼此
Sometimes, they bump into each other.
偶尔 它们互相撞击到一定程度
And every once in a while they hit each other hard enough
就会在它们之间创造出
that they open up a tear between each other
一条能吸入物质的裂口
that can suck matter through.
就像马桶抽走粪便一样
Like turds down a toilet.
不 这跟粪便处理装置完全不沾边
No. It's nothing like a fecal disposal unit.
这是水母
It's jellyfish.
所以我们发现了一条通往新宇宙的隧♥道♥吗
So we discovered a tunnel to a new universe?
耶 我们真棒
Yay, us!
这更类似于一个马桶 不过你说得对
It's more of a toilet, but yes.
隧♥道♥意味着永久存在
Tunnel implies permanence.
我们刚才通过的裂口只打开了10.36秒
The tear we went through was only open for 10.36 seconds.
所以我们迷失了
So we're lost.
受困于此
Entrapped, yes.
可能永远出不去了
Possibly forever.
甚至能肯定了
Probably even.
就像是咱们被冲走了 是啊
It's like we get flushed out, yeah.
你还别说 这确实更像是个马桶
You know what, it actually is more like a toilet.
早说了
Told you.
好了 大家都冷静一下
All right, everybody just calm down.
自乱阵脚是毫无帮助的
Panicking is not gonna help.
我们不能因为唯一的食物是软糖
We can't be worried about how we only have fudge to eat.
或者因为我们的家人很可能以为我们都死了
Or how all our families are probably going to think we're dead.
或者因为UMP
Or how UMP
很可能认为我们被小行星汽化而忧心忡忡
probably thinks that we got vaporized by some asteroid.
他们会追授我们勋章 然后葬下空棺来纪念我们
They'll give us posthumous medals and then bury empty coffins in our honor.
Michael
Michael.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
我不是叫你冷静吗
Didn't I just tell you to calm down?
Stewart和我只希望你们不要再失控了
Stewart and I just want you guys to stop flipping out here.
我们必须得保持冷静
We have to remain calm.
好吧 你们知道么
Well, you know what?
Michael说得对
Michael's right.
我们确实需要一个解决方案 听好了
We do need a solution, and here it is.
Stewart Lipinski
Stewart Lipinski,
我正式解除你作为舰长的职务
I am officially relieving you of your duties as captain of this ship.
别逗了 你不能这么做
What? You can't do that.
哦 是嘛 - 嗯哼
Oh, really? - Mm-hm.
<宇宙测绘计划行为准则>第3.0.5节规定
Section 3.0.5 of the Universal Mapping Project Rules of Conduct states
当舰长的行为危及舰队人员生命时
the captain may be relieved of duty by his second in command
副指挥可以免去舰长其职务
if his actions are deemed to place the lives of his crew in jeopardy.
真行啊 自大狂
Way to go, Nibs.
自大狂 哈哈哈
Nibs, huh.
别在队员面前叫我自大狂
Don't call me Nibs in front of the crew.
自大狂
Nibs!
而且这完全就是个意外 好么
And this was a total accident, okay?
我能有什么办法阻止这一切的发生呢
What could I have possibly done to keep this from happening?
我也不知道 Stewart
Oh, I don't know, Stewart,
也许你该雇一个真正的领航员
maybe hire a real navigator.
嘿 太刻薄了吧
Hey, that's mean.
对不住了 Tina 不过我们都知道你为啥在这儿
Oh sorry, Tina, but we all know why you're here.
我们也没法知道为什么我们每个人都在这儿
Well, how do we know why any of us are even here in life?
我为什么在这儿啊
Why am I here?
你在这里的唯一原因
The only reason you're here is because
就是我认为你技艺精湛
I think you're highly skilled.
哦 拜托 - 尽管你对男人的品味很差
Oh, come on. - Despite your taste in men.
尽管你对男人的品味很差
Despite your taste in men.
这两者有什么关系吗
What does one thing have to do with the other?
这只是 这是一件事 这是一个因素
It's just a, it's a thing, it's a factor.
那"巡航号♥"呢 Stewart
And what about the cruiser, Stewart?