迈克和茉莉（2010）

Mike & Molly S05E12

Part 2 Dec. 15, 2020, 4:37 p.m.

under that kind of scrutiny?
我们过的什么日子吗
I married into that kind of scrutiny.
我都嫁到她们家了
It became such a hostile work environment,
简直就是敌意工作环境
we went to the principal.
我们就去找校长了
She had to go.
她必须得走人
Your mother-in-law learned a hard lesson
餐厅生活可给你的婆婆
about cafeteria life.
狠狠上了一课啊
Fly too high, and the heat lamps gonna get ya.
飞的太高保温灯会烧焦你的
That's a good one.
这玩笑不错
So it-it was time for her to tapioca out of here.
所以是她"梨"开的时候了
Yours was better.
还是你的更好一些
It was better.
是更好
Mike!
Mike
In here.
这儿呢
Ooh, you better sit down.
你最好先坐下
Okay.
好吧
'Cause this is big.
这可是大事啊
This is juicy.
太有料了
And I don't like throwing around the word "Bombshell,"
我不喜欢用"重磅消息"这个词
but bombshell.
不过这真是重磅消息
Well, what is it?
好吧到底是啥
Okay, here we go.
好听着啊
Your mom did not retire.
你妈妈不是退休
She was fired.
她是被炒了
And...?
所以呢
And?
所以啥
Are you kidding me?
你逗我呢
Your mom was fired.
你妈妈被炒了
She lied right to your face.
她当着你的面撒谎啊
Eh, she does that.
她经常这样
That's it?
这就完了
That's all you're gonna give me?
这就是你给我的反应
I'm sorry, but this is nothing new.
不好意思但是这一点都不新鲜
She spins every negative thing in her life
她会把所有的坏消息都反过来说
so it isn't her fault.
这样就不是她的错了
But we don't call it lying.
那不叫撒谎
We call it "Mom's version."
我们都把那当成"妈妈的版本"
And in her defense, how else is she gonna live with herself?
也只有这样她才能心安理得了
Wait, n-n-no, we need to confront her about this.
不能这样我们得跟她对质这事
I mean, by "We," I mean you,
当然"我们"指的是你
but I want to be there to watch.
但是我想在旁边看着
I am not confronting her.
我才不要跟她对质
Uh, why not?
为什么
Well, I don't know.
我不知道
Survival?
生存
Self-preservation?
自保
I'm scared of her?
我害怕她
Take your pick.
随便选
Well, I am not throwing "Liar, liar,
反正我是不会给一个"骗子骗子
I didn't even retire" A party.
我根本没退休"办派对
Oh, yes, you are.
不你会的
As far as everyone's concerned, she's retired.
在大家看来她是退休了
But it's not true.
可是那不是真的
"But, but, but."
"可可可是"
The truth has no place here.
真♥相♥在这儿没立足之地
But we will give my mother that party,
我们会给我妈妈办个派对
she will be ungrateful, and we will move on.
她不会领情然后日子照过
How did you survive your childhood?
你小时候究竟是怎么活下来的
What does it look like?
你说呢
Eating right and exercising.
合理膳食加上经常锻炼
This is a very nice party.
这派对真是棒极了
Boy, you're easy to please.
孩子你可真容易满足
These canapes are quite delightful.
这些鱼子面包很讨人喜欢
Did you need 12 of 'em to decide that?
你得吃12个才能确定么
So what are your plans now?
你接下来有什么打算
Why does everybody keep asking me that?
为什么每个人都不停问我这个
Well, we are at your retirement party.
这是你的退休派对嘛
But I guess we can just sit here in silence.
不过我们也可以就在这儿干坐着
I'll never retire.
我绝不会退休
Three weeks after my pop stopped working, he dropped dead.
我老爸退休三周后就死了
He was hiking the Grand Canyon and didn't bring any water.
他在大峡谷远足一点水没带
I guess what I'm saying is... hydrate.
我指的是要补水
I hate the taste of water.
我讨厌水的味道
Of course you do.
当然了
You should hear your mom out there.
你真该听听你妈在外面说的那些
I think she actually believes she retired.
我觉得她真的相信自己是退休了
Molly, I'm telling you,
Molly 我跟你说
in her little world, she is retired,
在她的小世界里她就是退休了
her podiatrist is in love with her,
她的足疗师爱着她
and Anderson Cooper isn't gay.
Anderson Cooper不是同性恋
I can't imagine deluding myself like that.
我绝对不可能那样骗自己
I have to live honestly.
我得活得真实才行
Oh, really?
真的吗
So you were born with that hair color?
那你生来就是这种发色
Yes.
没错
I was. That's...
是的所以
why I keep trying to get back to it.
所以我才努力变回去
And, uh, y-you were the one who came up with "Talk to the hand."
是你开创的"闭嘴吧"这种说法
Maybe not "Came up with it," But I brought it to Chicago.
不算"开创" 但是我把这句话带到芝加哥的
Molly, look, I'm just...
Molly 我只是说
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
停停停
It's great that you retired
真好你退休了
while you're still able to enjoy...
还可以继续享受
I'm sorry, is there anything you enjoy?
不好意思有什么能让你享受吗
I've only ever really had one passion... cooking.
我只有一个爱好烹饪
In bulk.
做很多饭
Well, if that's the case, you sure lucked into the right son.
如果是这样你绝对有个好儿子
What are we talking about?
在说什么
About how happy you make your mom.
你让你妈多开心
Yeah, he's one in a million.
没错他绝对是万里挑一
Always come to visit when I'm not at home,
总是在我不在家的时候过来
and always tests the plumbing.
总是在测试管道
Hey, now with your mom being around,
嘿现在你妈就在这儿呢
when we go over there for your little bathroom breaks,
当你要去她家上厕所时
we can stay for lunch, too.
我们可以留下来吃午饭啊
No, no, I like my routine.
不我想按我的习惯来
I eat lunch at Abe's,
在Abe的店里吃饭
and that greasy food sends me to my mother's.
然后被那儿油腻的饭赶到我妈这儿
If I eat at Mom's,
如果直接在我妈这儿吃饭
who knows where I'll be when the muse hits.
谁知道到时候我会去哪上厕所
Hey, do you think what's-his-name needs
你觉得那个不知道叫什么的店里
any help down at that diner?
需要帮手么
Maybe you could put in a good word for me.
也许你可以推荐我去那儿
To work at Abe's?
到Abe的餐厅工作
Uh, n-n-no, y-you don't want to do that.
不你不想去
Why not?
为什么不想
Because, as your tiara says, you're retired.
看看你的头冠你退休了啊
Enjoy your golden years.
享受金色年华吧
At home.
呆在家里
Away from people.
远离人群
I took 18 stitches pushing your big head out my cervix,
我缝了18针才把你的大脑袋拽出子♥宫♥
and you can't do something nice for me?
你都不能替我做点事
What do you call this?
这不是我替你做的吗
Boring.
无聊透顶
These are all your friends.
这些全是你的朋友
Where are mine?
我的呢
That's a good question, Ma.
真是个好问题妈
Where are your friends?
你的朋友都在哪儿
What are you saying? Nothing.
你什么意思没什么
Let's just get through this joyous occasion.
来让我们度过这愉快的时光