迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S05E09
Part 1
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:36 p.m.
Previously on Mike & Molly...
前情提要
Mike, I was writing. You're always writing.
Mike 我在写作呢 你总是在写作
That's true. I come home from drinking, you're writing.
可不是嘛 我喝完酒回来 你在写
I get up to smoke a bowl, you're writing.
我起床抽大烟 你还在写
Honey, you have a serious problem.
亲爱的 你这问题很严重啊
There, done. What'd you do?
好了 搞定 你干了啥
I did what you should have done a couple of weeks ago.
我做了你几个星期前就该做的事
I sent your book to your publisher.
我把稿子发给你的出版商了
You're welcome.
不用谢了
You actually sent it?! Why would you do something like that?!
你真发了啊 你为什么要这样做
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
Know what this is?
知道这是啥吗
This is your face.
这 是 你 的 脸
Come on!
拜托
What is going on with you?
你到底怎么回事
Your whole life, you've always finished what you've started.
你一辈子做事都是有始有终
This is different.
这次不一样
It's my first book.
这是我的第一本书
That's a very big deal.
可是件大事
And if they don't like it, it's over.
如果他们不喜欢 那就完了
My career is done.
我的事业就完蛋了
Wow.
哇哦
Who knew publishers were so fancy?
没想到出版商的办公室这么高档啊
I'm not sure why I'm whispering.
我为啥要这么小声啊
Maybe it's the art or the-the sculpture
也许是因为这些艺术吧或者是这个雕塑
or the fact that you haven't spoken to me
或者是因为你没跟我说话
to kind of set a level.
我都不敢大声了
Mr. Van Xander will be right with you.
Van Xander先生马上就来
Okay, so inside voices.
好的 原来是这个音量啊
Okay.
好的
He didn't happen to mention what he thought of my book?
他有说过自己对我的书的看法吗
I mean, I know that's kind of awkward for you,
我知道这样问可能让你很尴尬
but this is already so awkward.
不过反正已经够尴尬了
Would you like some water?
您要来杯水吗
Yes, I would.
好的
And, uh, if one had the-the urge to throw up,
还有 如果有人想呕吐
where would one do that?
应该去哪儿
Oh.
噢
Not much of a talker, are you?
你不太爱说话 是吧
Oh.
噢
Is this a trick, or do I just kind of...
这有啥机关 还是我只要
Maybe I'll... maybe I'll crack it like a coconut.
像开椰子那样砸开就好了
Oh. Oh.
噢 噢
That's... that's tough.
还真是 不容易
I love it.
我很喜欢你的书
And I love you.
我也很喜欢你
Oh, and I love that you love me, too.
我也很喜欢你很喜欢我
So what are your plans?
那么你准备怎么办
Well, right off the bat, I want to change my pants.
我想赶紧换换裤子
I mean for your future,
我是说对你未来的计划
because this, my dear, is a game changer.
因为这 亲爱的 可是你生活的转折点哪
Books like yours don't come across my desk every day.
我不是天天都能遇到这么好的书
I think what we have here is very nearly perfect.
我觉得它简直称得上是完美
I really only have one thought.
我就只有一个想法
One thought? Great.
一个想法 太棒了
Well, as you have it, your main character is searching
你书里的主要角色一直在寻找
for spiritual fulfillment and sexual awakening,
精神上的圆♥满♥和性♥爱♥上的觉醒
which I love...
非常喜欢这一点
Me, too.
我也是
I mean, it's internal, but it's universal.
这确实是种内心情感 但很容易引起共鸣
I mean, it's really the whole reason I wrote the book.
所以我才写出这本书
Mm-hmm, but what if, instead of all that,
嗯哼 但是你看这样如何
every time she orgasms, she travels through time?
每次她高♥潮♥的时候 都会穿越时空
What?
什么
I mean, think of it... she would have
考虑一下嘛 她需要
to seduce famous historical figures
勾引著名的历史人物
in order to climax her way back to her one true love.
才能回到真爱的身边
Wow.
哇哦
It's, uh, it's...
这个 呃 这个
That's... Wow.
实在是 哇哦
I don't... I don't know how to...
我不 我不知道怎么
Wow, but I...
哇哦 但是我
I thought you liked what I wrote.
我以为你喜欢我的书
Oh, I loved what you wrote.
我是很喜欢啊
But now, with my one little tweak,
但是如果按我说的稍做改动
we're not talking best seller;
我们说的可不仅仅是销量冠军
we're talking phenomenon.
我们会创造奇迹
Phenomenon, okay.
奇迹 好吧
Phenomenon.
奇迹
That's a TV series, movie trilogy
会出电视剧 电影三部曲
and, if done right, a very erotic 3-D ride
而且如果做得好 说不定还可以在环球影城
at Universal Studios.
建个限制级的3D主题过山车呢
I hope I'm tall enough.
希望我的形象足够高大
Okay, tell us again.
好了 再说一遍
What were his exact words?
他的原话是啥来着
He said, "We're not talking best seller;
他说 "我们说的可不仅仅是销量冠军
we're talking phenomenon."
我们可以创造奇迹"
I told you!
我就说嘛
We're rich!
我们要发财了
Phenomenon. Do, do, do-do-do Phenomenon
奇迹 啦啦啦啦 奇迹
Do, dodo, do. Phenomenon. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
啦 啦啦啦 奇迹 等一下 等一下
Let's not get ahead of ourselves,
咱们都别得意太早了
I still have to do the rewrite.
我还得重新修改呢
Oh, you will.
可不是嘛
I sent the right kid to college.
我真是挑对孩子培养了
Thank you!
谢谢你
Amen to that.
感谢上帝保佑
Phenomenon. Do, do,
奇迹 啦啦
dododo.Phenomenon. Okay, wait, wwait,
啦啦啦 奇迹 好了 停下 停下
Now it has to be erotic and historically accurate.
这次得写得又色情又符合历史
I basically have to write a whole new book.
基本上等于重新写本书了
Oh, just change some names and locations.
改几个名字和地点就行了
Yeah, turn panties into pantaloons,
就是 把裤子改成马裤
make it a "Ye olde ball gag,"
写成类似"汝等混球"
and you're good to go.
就搞定了
I cannot tell you how proud of you I am.
我真是太为你骄傲了
And look at me, I'm dancing.
看看我 都跳起舞了
I haven't danced since '86
自从86年小熊队赢了超级碗以后
when the Bears won the Super Bowl.
我就没跳过舞
I know, you didn't even dance at our wedding.
我知道 咱俩结婚的时候你都没跳
Well, I'm dancing now, baby.
我现在正跳着呢 宝贝
Say it.
说出来吧
No, Mike, I... Say it!
别闹了 Mike 说出来吧
Oh, Phenomenon. Do, do, dododo. Phenomenon.
噢 奇迹 啦啦啦啦啦 奇迹
Do,dodo, do. Phenomenon...
啦啦啦 奇迹
I'm telling you, man, this is the right move.
我跟你说 伙计 这样做绝对没错
Now that you're married to a soon-to-be phenomenon,
你可是娶了个未来的奇迹啊
you got to have a look. I already got one.
你必须得注意形象了 我本来形象就不错
No, what you have is a look-away.
才怪 你那不叫形象而是大象
Try on the gabardines.
试试那些华达呢料子的
The hell's a gabardine?
华达呢是什么东西
A shirt? A belt?
衬衫 还是皮带
Speak English.
请说人话好吗
You know, you're gonna have to learn these high-fashion terms
你真得学学这些高档时尚术语了
if you're gonna be walking a red carpet with your famous wife.
万一你以后跟你的名人♥妻♥子一起走红毯呢
Yeah, when they ask you, "Who are you wearing"
如果人家问你 "你今天穿的谁家的衣服"
you don't want to say, "OshKosh B'gosh"
你可别说是 "OshKosh B'gosh"
Oh, my B'gosh.
噢 我的大宝宝啊
What do you think?
你们觉得如何
You got a lot going on there, man.
简直一言难尽哪 伙计
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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