迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly S05E11
Part 1
Dec. 15, 2020, 4:37 p.m.
Joyce! Vince!
Joyce Vince
Let's move it!
快出发吧
Your car's all warmed up for you!
你们的车子已经准备好了
So they can get the hell out of here.
可算能送走他们了
Did you fill up their tank?
你给车加油了吗
Gas, air, wiper fluid.
汽油 安全气囊 雨刷液都检查过了
I set the GPS for the casino.
还设置好了导航到赌场
I was gonna get their brakes checked, but I figured,
我本想检查下他们的刹车 不过又想
eh, what's meant to be's meant to be.
呃 生死有命吧
Hey! There's the happy travelers!
嘿 我们的开心游客来了
Got coffee for the driver.
给司机的咖啡
And wine for the passenger.
给乘客的酒
It's before noon, so I went with a crisp Chablis.
还没到中午 所以我只准备了点清爽的夏布利酒
Here we go.
快出发吧
I don't know if I should drink coffee.
我看我还是别喝咖啡了
My stomach is rumbling around like a dryer
我的胃响的跟烘干机
with one tennis shoe in it.
在烘干网球鞋一样
I told you not to eat that gas station sushi!
早跟你说了别在加油站买♥♥寿司吃
But I figured I'd be safe.
我以为没事嘛
The guy who owns it is Japanese.
开加油站的可是个日本人
He's Pakistani.
他是巴基斯坦人
Well, something is about to say sayonara!
反正有东西要跟我的身体说拜拜了
Ah, he's been sitting on that pot all morning.
呃 他都蹲坑蹲了一早上了
I don't know, maybe a five-hour road trip
真不好说 也许五个小时的车程
isn't the best idea.
现在不太合适
I don't want him to let loose in my Lexus.
我可不想他拉在我的雷克萨斯车里
Well, maybe a road trip
说不定医生正好会建议
is just what the doctor ordered.
他来个公路旅行呢
Nothing binds me up like traveling.
最能治愈我的就是旅行啦
It's true.
绝对的
Yeah, he only went once on our whole honeymoon.
是啊 我们蜜月的时候他只拉了一次
That was two weeks!
那可是两个星期啊
Why can't you do that here?
你在这儿怎么就不能少拉点儿
Come on, you guys have been dying to go play
拜托 你们俩早就想去
in that Texas Hold'em tournament.
这个德克萨斯扑克锦标赛啦
You've been practicing your poker face all month.
你整个月都在练习面无表情
Not poker face. Botox.
不是没表情 是打了肉毒杆菌
Maybe I'll just go by myself, and leave Vince at home.
要不然我自己去吧 让Vince在家吧
No! No! No! No! This is his special trip, too.
别 别 别 别 这对他也是很特别的旅行啊
You know, in fact, I don't think he's upstairs
其实我觉得他拉肚子
because of Pakistani sushi.
不是因为巴基斯坦寿司
I think he's just so excited that he's
我觉得他是太激动
lost control of his bodily functions.
都控制不住自己的身体了
You just want to send me off with that ticking time bomb
你俩就是想把我和那个定时炸♥弹♥送走
so you can have the house to yourselves.
你俩就可以独霸整个房♥子了
Yes.
没错
I love you. Get out!
我爱你 赶紧走
Yeah, why do you think we got Victoria that hotel room
对头 不然我俩为啥要在酒店给Victoria
for her morticians' convention?
开房♥间参加殡仪师会议啊
It's not even three miles away.
离这儿才不到三英里
They got better parking here.
这边还更好停车呢
Joyce, walk with me.
Joyce 跟我走
You know that gazebo-trellis thingy
你不是想让我在后院
you've been wanting me to put together in the backyard?
装个带栅栏的露台什么的吗
Well, while you are gone,
在你离开期间
I will hire a guy that will actually do it.
我会雇个人真的来搞定的
He'll put the twinkle lights in it, too?
他会挂上小闪灯的吧
Well, of course.
当然了
How else are you gonna drink outside at night?
不然晚上你怎么在外面喝酒啊
I do like to drink outside at night.
我确实喜欢晚上在外面喝酒
Vince!
Vince
Come on, we got to go! Car's running!
快点 该走了 车要开了哦
I took a Kaopectate and lined my boxers with maxi pads.
我吃了片泻药又给内♥裤♥里贴了最大的尿不湿
Hopefully that'll hold me to Calumet City.
希望能让我坚持到卡柳梅特城
Okay, there you go.
好了 这就对了嘛
And off you go.
赶紧走吧
Bye! Drive safe! Hey!
拜拜 小心驾驶 嘿
If you get hungry, remember bananas bind!
你要是饿了 记得吃点香蕉止泻
Oh, my God, they're gone.
我的天哪 他们总算走了
I can't believe we have the whole house to ourselves.
真不敢相信家里就剩咱们俩了
Yup. Home alone. Good-bye pants.
对头 独自在家 裤子拜拜
See you in 72 hours.
三天后再见啦
That is such a good idea.
真是个好主意
Why am I still in this bra?
我还带着胸罩干啥
Oh! Oh, God.
噢 噢 天哪
I just watched nine episodes of Breaking Bad.
我已经连续看了九集<绝命毒师>了
I got to stop.
我得歇歇了
You know, you might look really sexy bald.
知道吗 你要是光头估计会很性感哟
You're not shaving my head!
别想剃我的头
But this is living though, huh?
不过这才是生活啊
I haven't moved in six hours.
我都六个小时没动地方了
I can't feel my legs.
我的腿都麻了
I don't care.
无所谓啦
Oh, my God, it's 2:00!
天哪 都2点了
Mike, we've wasted half the day.
Mike 我们浪费了半天时间啊
Oh, don't think of it as wasting half the day.
别想着是浪费了半天时间
Think of it as you have half a day left to waste.
要想着还有半天时间可以浪费呢
No, Mike!
不行 Mike
Get up! Let's walk to the farmers' market.
起来 咱们散步去农贸市场吧
There are two things wrong with that sentence.
你这话里有两个地方都不对劲啊
Come on, it'll be fun.
来吧 会很有趣的
We'll shop, we'll get some fresh vegetables,
咱们去买♥♥点东西 买♥♥点新鲜蔬菜
we'll make a nice dinner.
做顿好吃的
I'll buy you a churro.
我给你买♥♥西班牙油条
You can bring me one back.
你可以给我带回来一个
Mike! I want to take a walk with you.
Mike 我想让你跟我一起散步
And hold your hand.
手牵手
And explore the city with the man I love.
和我爱的男人一起探索这个城市
I know. Yeah.
我知道 是吧
I get it. Yes.
我明白 不错吧
I just don't want to go. All right!
我只是不想去 好吧
Get up! Pants on, Pooh Bear.
起来 穿上裤子 维尼熊
You know the last time you didn't want
记不记得你上次也死活都不想
to go somewhere this much?
跟我一起去逛
The flea market... and who came home
跳蚤市场 结果谁买♥♥回来
with a Mr. T lunchbox?
一个Mr. T的午餐盒啊
I did.
是我
Yeah, you did.
对 就是你
Okay, I can't promise anything that life-changing.
好吧 我不敢说那儿有什么惊天动地的东西
But I can promise you kettle corn
但是绝对有爆米花
and homemade root beer.
和自♥制♥根汁汽水
In a frosted mug?
是装在冷冻杯里吗
We'll bring our own in a cooler.
我们用车载冰箱里自己带
Makes all the difference.
这还差不多
Come on, come on, come on.
快 快 快
Oh, these morticians give out some sweet swag.
这些殡仪师真是造了不少好东西啊
Uh, look at that.
看看这个
Coffin coin purse.
棺材零钱包
Now, every time I need a quarter,
现在每次我需要零钱的时候
I'll be reminded that Canterville Caskets wants my
坎特维尔棺材都会提醒我
"Rest days to be my best days."
"好好珍惜剩余的每一天"
I told you it would be fun.
早跟你说了会很有意思的
Funeral directors might be fuddy-duddies
葬礼主持在殡葬室可能是很守旧
in the embalming room, but when the rubber gloves come off,
但是一旦摘下塑胶手套
it's a dead man's party. Mm.
就变成死人的盛会了 恩
You know, I-I still can't believe this is what you do.
我还是不敢相信这是你的工作
I mean, did you just wake up one day and decide
难道你某天早上醒来突然决定
that I want to put makeup on dead people?
我去给死人化妆吧
Yes.
是的
That's a hell of a story.
好棒的故事啊
迈克和茉莉（2010）
Mike & Molly
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